Note:

Attention, Hogan's Heroes fans. Before you complain, the show is listed primarily to represent ANY dated re-run that doesn't really hold up over the years.

Attention, science fiction fans: as you may know from previous polls, I am one of you. Don't read this to mean ALL SciFi is bad; but surely, SOME of it is VERY bad!

Attention, Poker fans. That got my vote. What in tarnation are y'all thinkin'??

Everyone else, if you voted "Other" and are here to tell us what, please keep it in the realm of things that are actually on television. Yes, "watching paint dry" would suck. Nobody televises that, so it's not an option, nor should it be!

This was easily the toughest poll to date.

I hate Bad re-runs in general, hate the rodeo, hate dog shows, dislike minor league hockey, hate politicians making speeches and HATE Poker.

But I voted for the dog show, because why would you watch a freaking dog show.

While most poker on television is lousy due to the extensive editing and obnoxious announcers, Poker After Dark on NBC is actually half decent.  It more closely resembles a real poker game than most poker shows.

Plus it features Shana Hiatt.

  I don't mind poker being on tv, I just find it a bit insulting for it to be on a sports channel and/or is on instead of Doc pitching. Similarily, minor league hockey on instead of Jays is annoying.  Rodeo can be fun.  A serious pounding of Yankees on Red Sox (it used to be reversed) in Boston is fun.

Actually, all of these things have the potential to be okay, just not instead of Jays on TV.  Hear that, Rogers?  And don't try to sell me the whole "you'd be able to see it on digital cable" argument, because this turns me off digital cable. 

 

I'll chime in since I apparently inspired the poll (my all-time Box highlight?).  I went dog show, because I don't mind politics and rodeo at least has "car crash" potential.  Speaking of car crash potential, actually at this point I think Nascar might make my list of things that would be horrible to have to watch for more than 5 minutes. But dog shows don't even make it to  5 minutes...let's watch pets that people spend ten of thousands of dollars on prance around in circles!

My poker beef, though: As a rough guess, I'd say there's 20 hours a week of primetime poker on tv right now (2 hours tonight alone, even with hockey and baseball on) on the three canadian sports channels. I can still watch maybe a hand or two once in a while, but dammit, nothing new happens. There's 3-4 basic tactics (pros are very good at, I won't dispute that), and when the pros play each other they might as well have a coin flipping contest....like "reality tv" though, it must be dirt cheap to produce compared to almost anything else, so on tv it goes. On the plus side, I read more books.

Bring back Aussie rules football! I used to love watching that "back in the day".

There is a difference between minor league hockey and junior hockey.  And junior hockey was likely the sole reason there were no televised game this weekend.  Sportsnet likely threw in the towel and refused to send a crew there to televise the single game that didn't conflict with the Memorial Cup.

As for the poll, I vote for anything involving cars driving in circles.

Poker on television is only really compelling when you don't know what the other players have.  Occasionally they showcase a hand where they only give you a peek at one player's cards.  Now you have to guess along with the announcers what the player should do.  I would definitely watch a poker show where they just followed one player, and you never saw the other hands unless there was a showdown.  I think you would learn a lot more, and you'd also find out how smart the announcers are, which is probably why they'll never make this show in the first place. :)  Knowing what everybody has feels like cheating, and I don't think the various strategies are demonstrated as well.

I do like watching Poker Night Live on CGTV though, because they'll show several hands in a row without editing, and it's good to be reminded that playing 3-4 offsuit might work for Gus Hansen, but it generally doesn't work for anybody else.

Without a doubt, "reality" TV. Idols, Survivors, Big Brothers, Races that may or may not be Amazing... I don't care. Hollywood is bankrupt in all its forms, and the deluge of these craptastic shows proves that.

I mean, The Sims has had its movie rights purchased by Fox. Whiskey tango foxtrot?

the deluge of these craptastic shows

...said "Tom Servo" ... irony rules!

Poker on television is only really compelling when you don't know what the other players have.

Ironically, the poker boom was due in part to the pocket cams so everyone could see how the cards were being played.

I think dog shows on TV are pretty awful, but it does allow you to make some jokes which are inappropriate in other settings which is always fun.

This list is not entirely without some small merit.

For starters, what's wrong with rodeo? I'm sure I could watch for a few minutes anyway.... watching people fall on their ass is often highly entertaining. I suppose it would probably get a little repetitive.

And bad science fiction... I adore bad science fiction. I may like it better than good science fiction. I have Plan 9 From Outer Space on DVD, and I'm pretty sure I have the Director's Cut.

Minor league hockey? Hell, it's hockey. I can get into it.

And Red Sox-Yankees? It's baseball. And these two walking Incarnations of Evil have at least had the goodness to provide some pretty gripping baseball entertainment over the years. And maybe they'll figure a way to both lose at the same time, having done pretty well everything else.

Hogan's Heroes. OK, but I watched it faithfully when I was a kid. Of course, I now understand the sad, somewhat embarrassed look on my father's face, trying to tell me that they weren't all fat and jolly like Sgt. Schulz.

There may even be a couple of politicians I'd at least let get started...

I don't think I could watch poker. Don't understand the game. I don't even know the rules. I have no clue. But it does sound promisingly weird. There's some stud and he holds something?  There's a flush, and some things are straight? I don't know, but maybe I could learn.

But the dogs. OK. You got me. There are no circumstances on this earth that could make me watch dogs. This could only happen to me in the sixth circle of Dante's Inferno, as I'm punished for all eternity for... well, whatever. The dogs and I.... we don't get along. They frighten me, they distress me, and despite their astonishingly limited cognitive faculties they're sure capable of understanding that much, and they ruthlessly and viciously take full advantage of my weakness and vulnerability. Savage, fierce, menacing brutes, every one of them. (Well, with one exception - Liam's dog is somehow irresistible, and actually seems to like me.)

But the rest of 'em? Shudder...

And, lest some dog show fancier jump in to say that we're not talking about pit bulls and dobermans and rottweilers here - we're talking about the cute purebreds in the shows... let me just say this:

I have been menaced by poodles.

Other:  The Bachelor/ette...in my opinion, it's the worst of the worst [reality tv]; the show is horrendous.

Watching poker played by really good players is very worth watching if you are a student of the game at all.

 

Watching the 'celebrity' versions, however, is painful.

the deluge of these craptastic shows

...said "Tom Servo" ... irony rules!

Surely you're not dissing Mystery Science Theater 3000. :D

I'm surprised this hasn't been mentioned yet.

RADIO ON TELEVISION!

Why must we be forced not only to endure Bob McCowan in our ears but to have his ugly mug burnt into our visual memory?

This has to be by far the worst and most unbearable thing on television.

Strong-man contests, which seem to be the only thing sports channels are capable of showing in non-prime time timeslots.