Much later baby you'll be saying never mind.
You know life is cruel, life is never kind.

If you've been following the Jays at all lately, you know all too well that they haven't been hitting. The best guess as to why is that they're trying too hard. No doubt, they're all busy watching game films, endlessly practicing, and otherwise behaving like hardworking, type-A professionals. I'm thinking perhaps it's time for them to loosen up and do something silly.

There are worse things than getting swept at home by a key divisional rival and starting the year 0-9 on your own turf. Getting malaria, for one thing. Finding a fire ant colony in your backyard. Owning several thousand shares of Air Canada stock. Being Courtney Love's personal assistant. Being Courtney Love. The point is, things aren't all that bad so long as you look at it the right way. Miguel Batista is way overdue for a good game, Delgado and Hinske can't bat less than .180 much longer, and the Red Sox don't have anyone better to send to the mound tonight than Curt Schill ... er... have I mentioned that nobody has malaria? It's still baseball, folks, and that in itself is reason to smile; enjoy the game.

We left Fredericton, NB at 4 a.m. Atlantic Standard Time on Monday morning, in a haze of sleep deprivation. Were it not for the discovery of a wonderful beverage called Red Bull, we most certainly would not have made it to our destination: Boston, MA. The group was comprised of four classmates and friends - one from New Brunswick, one from Ontario, one from Quebec and one from Newfoundland - the goal of which was to take in a couple of marquee sporting events.

A slightly abbreviated roundup summarizes another eventful day for Toronto's minor league affiliates:

Save your breath
Don’t look at me, don’t smile at me
Just close your eyes

Well, there really isn't too much to say about this team right now (not that that's kept us from yapping :-)). At 3-10 to start the year, the Jays have hopefully hit bottom and are now rebounding -- there were hopeful signs in last night's loss to Pedro Martinez. With the Leafs gearing up for the second round of the playoffs, the Jays have another week to ten days to work out the kinks and get back to a respectable level of play. It's a battle of traditional susceptibilities tonight, as the Red Sox face a lefty in Ted Lilly and the Blue Jays face a knuckler in Tim Wakefield. Advantage Toronto, at least if last night's silliness with Manny Ramirez carries over to this game: Wakefield's pitches would have difficulty breaking a pane of glass.

As reported by a few people, Howie Clark has been called up to the big club, and Chad Hermansen has been optioned down to Syracuse. Details available on this press release.

This is a poll of sorts, with a twist.

Two of the Jays' top pitching prospects took the hill last evening. One pitched a complete-game shutout; the other was pulled in the second inning for reasons of which this correspondent is unaware.

Welcome to the first installment of a new Batter's Box feature. Impressed by the quality of questions presented in the "Ask Jerry Howarth" thread, the Blue Jays broadcaster has agreed to do this with us again on a regular basis. We're very grateful.

My apologies if I paraphrased, combined or omitted any of your questions. Though Jerry was generous with his time on Sunday morning, he did have a game to call, and we tried to get to as many as we could. Perhaps as this season progresses, there will be more focus on what he's seeing on the field and in the Jays' clubhouse. This time, we get to know Jerry a little better, beginning with his responses to our Roster questionnaire.

The essentials : we're meeting tonight at SkyDome at 6:45pm in front of Gate 6. There are still free tickets left, let me know by posting in this thread if you need one or two. We will be sitting in Section 528, Rows 6, 7 and 8, so if you have bought your own ticket, come on over and join us.

The pitching matchup is Pedro Martinez versus Roy Halladay. This could be one you'll tell your grandchildren about... don't miss it.

Carlos Delgado is in a slump. He's chasing balls out of the zone and has taken more than a few awkward swings this season. Is Delgado hurt? Are his mechanics messed up? How long will it take him to sort things out? Has he ever had a month this bad?

But I feel that I should be heard loud and clear.
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears.

Fans of the late, great Antonio Prohias will surely remember his classic Spy vs. Spy features in Mad Magazine, back when it was a great publication rather than a bad SNL ripoff. Although there won't be any trick missiles, hidden pistols or remote-controlled-dressed-up-as-a-lady explosive devices in tonight's game, this is still a classic matchup: Roy Halladay versus Pedro Martinez, the young gunslinger up against the old master. The pitching duel alone makes this one a must-see game. But there's more to it than that.