Break out the sunscreen, unfold the lawn chair in the backyard, and settle down to some heavy summertime reading. The July Blue Jays Farm Report – all 11,000 words of it – is here.

Two wins at the top of the system, and Pulaski piled it on in the Appy League. The Jays affiliates were 3-3 on the night.

Swallowed up in symbols
Wanting what I don't need
If sympathy's the answer
I'll have temporary cancer
But that's not what I'll have you believe

The Indians finally found their can-opener, and were therefore able to open that vacuum-sealed tin of whup-ass on the Blue Jays last night. With Pat Hentgen's retirement, Josh Towers has seemingly taken over the role of dispensing refreshingly candid assessments of his bad performances. To wit:

The heat of the long summer has got too many people hot and bothered. Couldn't you use a little ice-cold amusement? Wouldn't you like to vent your frustrations by using a large club to hammer a defenceless penguin into the stratosphere? Of course you would! If you haven't yet experienced the joy of YetiSports, click to their home page and start with "Stage 1: Pengu Throw." My personal best is 319.1 metres; can you top it? And while you're at it, find out just how poorly you'd do against major-league pitching by stepping into a whole other kind of batter's box. And if anyone has links to other good online baseball diversions, please add them here. Enjoy.

4 wins, a doubleheader and 3 grand slams are featured in today’s update.

All the world is Babylon
And all the love and everyone
A ship of fools sailing on

So, was it ball four or strike three? Frank Menechino thought it was low, and the umpire agreed, and the Jays caught a break for once this season. But the credit for last night's win should be spread evenly throughout the lineup, including Carlos Delgado's clutch, game-tying two-run homer. Read all about it, and more:

The Blue Jays will be going for the sweep tonight, but they could be in tough. The Indians are sending Jake Westbrook, one of their most consistent starters (8-5, 3.18) against Josh Towers, who went 4-0, 2.60 in July but who is always around the plate -- not necessarily a good thing against this powerful Cleveland lineup that loves to swing the bat.

To pass the time till the game starts: let's say that Ted Rogers has bought Skydome and put you in charge of making this stadium as fan- and baseball-friendly as possible. Your budget is limited. While there are certain things (installing grass, for instance) that you can't do, virtually everything else -- music, concessions, ushers, entertainment, Jumbotron, etc. -- is at your disposal. We often complain about the Dome hereabouts -- how would you make it better?

For us Ontarians, today is a Tuesday that feels like a Monday; for the Blue Jay farm, yesterday was a Monday that was a Twosday.

With a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knee
He never did marry or see a B-grade movie
He graded my performance, he said he could see through me

Like Rasputin, these Jays don't give up so easily. A thumping good time at Skydome yesterday as the Boys in White and Grey knocked off the Indians 6-1. Get all the details from:

For the last few months, Miguel Batista (tonight's starter against Cleveland) and Ted Lilly have been giving Blue Jays fans something we haven't had in quite awhile: the confidence that the team will win a start behind a pitcher other than Roy Halladay. Remember what it was like, back in the day, to expect a quality start, not just hope for one? It's a good feeling, and the Jays are slowly getting it back. Tonight, Batista is facing former hot prospect and current journeyman Scott Elarton. Not many pitchers increase their HRs-allowed rate after leaving Coors Field, but that's what Elarton has done after coming to the Indians a couple of months ago. At least he's got his ERA down to 7.65 from the 9.80 he left Denver with. Remember the THASTAPP rule, folks: there's hardly any such thing as a pitching prospect.

I did a similar piece recently on the White Sox - Mariners trade, and will be doing the same for some of the more high-impact deadline deals we've seen. First stop, Tampa Bay.

That's John Graves Simcoe, for those unfortunate enough to be working today, or who have the day off but don't know who the holiday is named for (I still prefer "August Long Weekend," myself). Two of the better left-handers in the American League square off in today's Skydome matinee, as the Cleveland Indians start their four-day Toronto visit by sending Cliff Lee to the mound against Blue Jays All-Star Ted Lilly. And hey, check out who's batting third for the Jays today.

Syracuse score an improbable win, Josh Banks was a welcoming host, and Auburn and Pulaski had five hits between them.

I tried. I really tried. I’m not suggesting that you should call me Ishmael or anything, but I threw everything I had up against those Walrus, making trades to better balance my team and micro-managing it daily. I was even leading 9-3 most of the week. It was all a ruse. I think he does it on purpose.

Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere