?Japanese submarine slammed two topedoes into our side, Chief. Was coming back from the Island of Tinian Leyte. Just delivered the bomb, the Hiroshima bomb.

Aaron Reynolds has put together some terrific Batter's Box desktops for all us Blue Jays fans. These deserved their own thread, so here you go!

For those of you using (shudder) Internet Explorer, click on the desktop you want (and make sure you have the right size), wait for the image to load, right-click on the image and choose "Set As Background" from the menu.

At this point, it's obvious what's wrong with the Jays, occasional bullpen misadventures notwithstanding: they're not hitting. Their hit totals in their last eight games (shown in reverse order) are a frightening tale of futility at the plate: 3, 7, 5, 12, 4, 6, 8, 9. (The 12, oddly enough, was against the Yankees.)

The question: should J.P. Ricciardi have seen this coming? Does he deserve to be blamed for his team's offensive futility, or have injuries, bad luck, and unexpected declines in performance led to the Jays' offensive woes?

Yeah, I know, no one wants to do Cheer Club because they're so depressed. Well, too bad!

As Frank Zappa would have it: What's New In Baltimore?

The RED HOT Orioles (winners of nine of ten) arrive at SkyDome fresh off a series win in Anaheim over the Angels, who had been red-hot themselves. The Jays, as everyone knows, are slumping badly and now trail the Orioles for third place by eight games. A sweep would put Baltimore at .500, about where everyone expected them to be starting this season.

On to the Advance Scout!

I can pay the phone bills
I can cut the lawn, cut my hair, cut out my cholesterol
I can work overtime
I can work in a mine

Adam Lind is hot, hot, hot.
Josh Banks is not, not, not.
Two rainouts and a rain shortened game, plus bonus coverage!

For a team that concentrated very heavily on pitching in the 2002 and 2003 amateur drafts and has called up two of its top hitting prospects already this season, the Toronto Blue Jays still have an abundance of interesting hitters in their farm system.

Weak Bulletin Board Fodder

"What we can't do now is let down. We have to go to Toronto and try to finish off this road trip strong." -- Orioles left fielder Larry Bigbie

Dear Nomar,

You are at a great baseball crossroads right now. No doubt you will spend this winter trying to decide what path to take, and there will be a lot of people trying to influence your decision. I'd like to ask you to consider a path that may not even be on your radar screen right now: Toronto.

I swear that I don't enjoy torturing baseball fans. Rehashing Kerry's year might seem like that to you, but for me, it's a simple quest for understanding what went wrong.

Today's Minor League Update, like a great piece of conceptual art, will be a continuous work in progress. Check it out and see how far I've gotten!

The minor league affiliates destroyed everything in their path, winning six out of six and suffering one rainout.

Oh man! Look at those cavemen go
It's the freakiest show
Take a look at the Lawman
Beating up the wrong guy
Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know
He's in the best selling show

I posted this in an old Minor League Roundup, but actually it goes better as an article, even if it's a jumbled bunch of notes and scribblings.

When the Indians were in town for Simcoe Day last week, Cliff Lee threw his glove into the stands after being removed. On that occasion, two bad innings did him in - he allowed 4 runs in the first and 2 in the fifth. Some thought that a demotion to AAA was imminent.

Lee stayed in the rotation and started very well against the White Sox, posting 5 straight zeroes before allowing 5 runs in the 6th. The Indians rallied from a 5-3 deficit by scoring 3 in the 9th inning to take Lee off the hook.

Ted Lilly takes the hill for the Jays. He's looking for his 7th consecutive start of 6+ innings. He started the year by failing to pitch at least 6 full innings in 8 of 9 starts.

Our own Mike D. will be in the Jake tonight, wearing a white Blue Jays shirt and sitting near third base. 10,000,000 points to the first poster who spots Mike.