Told me I go what it takes
She said "I'll turn you on sonny to something strong,
play the song with the funky break"
And go-cart Mozart was checkin' out the weather chart to see if it was safe outside
And little Early-Pearly came by in his curly-wurly and asked me if I needed a ride
Asked me if I needed a ride

A number of you wanted to evaluate how well JPs free agent signings have performed. To help you out in doing this, here are some stats.

They are underway in Saint Louis. After one inning, a two-out solo blast to straightaway centre by Albert Pujols has given the Cards a 1-0 lead.

Periodically throughout the offseason, I'll be posting snapshots of how next years team is shaping up. This will include the likely 25-man roster if the season started today, and discussion of payroll, recent changes(trades, free agent signings), and specific positions of weakness or potential change.

The ambiguity about whether my team name is singular or plural was deliberate. I'm the guy who suggested Miami Humidity when they had a contest to name the Marlins, just because it would have been so much fun to say "The Heat isn't so bad, but the Humidity is brutal."

My players may be Walruses, Walri or even Walrera (think opus) but I am the Toronto Walrus, 2004 champion of the BBFL Alomar Division. Led by a slew of free agent pitchers who outperformed expectations, my club defeated Lars Kvale’s AGF 9-3 in the two-week final. The jubilation I was feeling on the weekend is muted today, and fantasy baseball seems trivial indeed, but it was a satisfying finish to a successful year, in which I took over the lead in Week 2 and never looked back.

As one baseball season ends and another (post-)season begins, it's time to look back at the years enjoyed (or ins ome cases endured) by the 20 remaining candidates for the 2004 Batter's Box Andujar Award.

Andu-what? The award is named in honor of the legendary and quotable pitcher Joaquin Andujar, who won 127 games in 13 seasons with the Astros, Cardinals and Athletics -- and who once said, "There is one word in baseball that says it all, and that word is 'youneverknow.'"

"That quote captures the spirit of this award," said Batter's Box founder Kent Williams in the announcement of last year's winner. "We're honoring the players who, looking back, really make fans shake their heads and say 'Wow, in baseball, you really never do know what's going to happen.'"

Here's what our pena had to say.

43.3% Minnesota + Boston
28.0% New York + Boston
15.9% Anaheim + Minnesota
12.7% New York + Anaheim

Yes, you should root for the Yankees in the first round of the playoffs. And a host of other suggestions that might seem incomprehensible at first ...

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble; give a whistle!
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And so it comes to an end. Soon, 161 games will be in the books, and then it'll all finally be over: the disappointment, the frustration, the heartache, the anger, the finger-pointing, and the general unpleasantness. And that was just the Game Threads. [rimshot]

But still it's farewell
And maybe we'll come back
To earth, who can tell?

I guess there is no one to blame
We're leaving ground
Will things ever be the same again?

The Canadian Press reports that John Cerutti was found dead in his hotel room Sunday morning.

No details of the death have been given at this time.

We at Batters Box pass on our condolences to John's friends and family. This is shocking and horrible news.

now I can't see anything.
I made a mistake, chalked it up to design.
I cracked through time/space, godless and dry.
I point my nose to the northern star,
and watch the decline from a hazy distance.

The Tampa Bay Devil Rays beat Detroit last night, a victory no doubt celebrated with champagne in the front office at Tropicana Field. With the win, the D-Rays assured themselves of escaping the AL East basement and finishing fourth for the first time in their brief history. The win also guaranteed another fact: with their worst record in 23 years, the Toronto Blue Jays are going to finish Dead Freakin' Last in 2004. They will choose either 4th, 5th or 6th in next June's draft, depending on the Expos and Brewers' final weekend performances. Welcome, in other words, to rock bottom.

Now, for Jays fans, this indisputably stinks. But if you're the kind of person who likes to find just one thing to feel positive about: try this: this is only the second time Toronto has finished last in any full season since 1982. Since then, the DFL position has been apportioned thus:

Well it's all right, if you live the life you please
Well it's all right, doing the best you can
Well it's all right, as long as you lend a hand