It's Pinch-Hit day again at Batter's Box, and we're happy to provide you with another special guest report from one of our regulars -- or in this case, two of them. My instructions from Rook Rob are to introduce this one as follows: "Today's Pinch-Hit comes to us from regular Bauxite Jobu, with an assist from his loser friend Rick." Enjoy.

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Another one of those days.

The Jays are shutout by the Devil Rays and slip to two games below .500.

I'm sure you all know by now that the Jays lost 3-2 to the Stinky Devil Fish because of a blown save by Miguel Batista.

Had 'em all the way...

The Blue Jays match their 2004 win total and get back to .500.

And if I had told you in April that Scott Downs would strike out more hitters in a game than any other Toronto pitcher, you'd have beaten me senseless.

Jay Gibbons and B.J. Surhoff hit 6th inning homers off Dustin McGowan to bring the Orioles back from a 3-1 deficit. Dustin threw a heavy ball, and rarely gave up the long-ball, in the minor leagues prior to his Tommy John surgery. It often takes 2-3 years for pitchers to return to their pre-surgery level of effectiveness; perhaps Dustin's struggles in the big leagues are a part of the usual recovery process.

The Jays were blanked by a team whose momentum should carry it down to the Morlocks before the season ends, so instead of talking about the game, I'm going to talk about the Internet's history.

Since 1979, each September brought with it an influx of new users to the Internet. Especially prior to 1995, when the National Science Foundation opened the Internet to commercial use, students usually first gained access when they went away to university; the Internet, after all, was primarily an academic endeavour.

Tim Berners-Lee first publicized his World Wide Web project in 1991, changing the way the public would view the Internet forever. Before then, it was seen as what it really is: a medium for many services, including Usenet.

So I finally broke down and committed to writing one of these here Game Reports.

Something has gone amiss at work (one of the monkeys has escaped from the lab - or something like that). Because of that, the game report is going to be delayed for awhile.

So Scott Downs pitched yesterday. He also threw on Monday. I figured I could chart his pitches for that game against the Yankees like Matthew Rauseo did for John Patterson's August 19th start at BaseballAnalysis.com. However, TSN televised the game with their standard practice of not showing pitch speeds, so I went with Plan B in that article.

Maybe we do.

On the bright side, Dustin McGowan held the Indians to just three runs in the first inning. (Updated, 11:15 P.M.)

I started thinking about what I'd write for this column while I was in the bathtub, soaking off the effects of a disheartening loss to the Yankees yesterday afternoon. This road trip was bad enough that the glimmer of hope in the wild card race shown to us just days ago is all but gone.

My father has an expression that he acquired growing up in Newfoundland, back when there was a fishing industry to speak of in those parts: “He’s got more guts than a five-cent fish.” It’s a statement made admiringly of someone who shows a lot of gumption; “the guts of a burglar,” they’d say in places presumably with more crime and fewer cod.

Maybe it is better to suffer from what one knew than to expose oneself to new suffering. – Emile Zola.

Strange as it may seem, Zola was no pessimist. Or at least I don't think he was a pessimist. Now, Blue Jays fans in the last few years: they have a right to be a bit pessimistic about their bullpen, though this year's version has been fairly reliable. So maybe pessimistic is too strong. Lugubrious? Nah, too bombastic. Wait, here's the word, especially after last night's misery: pissed.

What to discuss, what to discuss... Well, you cannot, by definition, have a positive discussion about the offense when the team does not score a run (and nobody has more than one hit), so that leaves the pitchers.

I have nothing against Pete Walker -- sources indicate he's great at ogling the Queen with Jeff Tam in unaired 2003 commercials -- but his ERA wasn't going to stay at 2.66 all year. (Nor will it stay at 3.12.) This wasn't a surprise. Scott "Schotime" Schoeneweis has a fun last name, but he faced just two batters. Vinnie Chulk didn't have three inherited runners to strand, so he was fairly unmemorable.

You have to love any Blue Jays game where the best part of it all was the losing pitcher. And he is the focus of today's Game Report. Sort of...

Well that was no fun.