Bleh. I don't relish writing the Game Report for this "game."

Make no mistake: The Jays have a real opportunity to gain ground over the next three days.

The Jays face a speedy but utterly pitching-poor Devil Rays squad that failed to build on the momentum of having shakem off an embarrassing 20-11 loss to win a four-game series in the Bronx. Other than the typically reliable Danys Baez, there is simply no pitcher on this roster that ought to be able to overmatch the Blue Jay bats. Should the Jays avoid the Tropicana Field gremlins that have haunted them since the Tampa franchise was born, they should win this series going away.

This week's Scout features a lightning-quick duo, a slumping backstop and a young pitcher who needs to make serious amends to his teammates. And no, I don't mean Travis Harper.

On to the Advance Scout!

Not in the sunshine or the distance between
The cigarettes we burn
The books we claim to read

Glyndwyr gets a showdown with the Senators, while the Barfield and Carter Divisions get new leaders.

The top three teams win, the next two suffer bullpen losses, and Pulaski are blown out, but Wesley Stone, the Jays top high school pick this year, has a nice first start, including his first pro tater.

Now that's a bit more like it.

Gustavo Chacin tries to stop the hurting. And he did with a little help from his friends.

It is time for you to laugh instead of crying
Yes it's time for you to laugh so keep on trying

So, Dick Scott sent out an e-mail to the farm affiliates on Saturday morning. It was simple. Starting pitchers are expected to throw shutouts, while the hitters are expected to hit a few homers. Lo and behold, the clubs by and large listened and the plan worked, as the farm affiliates went 5-1.

According to the good folks over at BaseballAlmanac.com (second only to the incomparable BaseballReference.com as a resource for these Hall of Names expeditions), "There are more than three-hundred fifty sets of brothers who have made it to the Major Leagues. Twenty-five members of the National Baseball Hall of Fame had a brother who also played in the big leagues. Other interesting combos include World Series Appearances, All-Star Games and pitcher vs catcher match-ups."

So it would be hard to limit ourselves to just one team of all-brothers (and we're not even talking about Hall of Fame 1B Dan and one-season cuppajoe Art who were both Brouthers, but were not brothers) when, in point of fact, you could pretty much put an All-Star lineup together using just Alous, Waners, Niekros and Alomars -- the latter of which without even including dad Sandy Sr.

So let's make the rules just a bit more stringent ...

Ted the Tease wasn't sharp. The Big Cyborg was. And in case you're wondering, the last Blue Jay extra-base hit was Shea Hillenbrand's 7th inning double on Thursday.

The Washington Nationals are 26-9 at home, which is the best home record in the major leagues. Why is that, anyway? Is there something about RFK that other teams haven't been able to adjust to?

Bauxites have spoken, and they are not wildly impressed with the position prospects, but put them in this order:

1.  Lind
2.  Cannon
3.  Roberts
4.  Quiroz
5.  Hattig-tie
5.  Thigpen-tie
7.  Pettway-tie
7.  Patterson-tie
9.  Griffin
10. Negron

I am quite sure that Bauxites collectively have done a better job of appraising prospects than I did. Well done, everyone. It's cool that Pettway and Patterson ended up tied.

This is getting tiresome.

Only the Blue Jays' full-season A-Ball teams came away with victories last night, including a doubleheader sweep in Dunedin and a big win for Lansing. Altogether amazing achievements for the A-level athletes -- alliteratively, anyway.

He sat down, stared into the fire for a few seconds, and then said, "It begins, I suppose, with --- with a person called --- but it's incredible yeh don't know his name, everyone in our world knows---"
"Who?"
"Well --- I don' like sayin' the name if I can help it. No one does."
"Why not?"
"Gulpin' gargoyles, Harry, people are still scared."

Josh Towers could not overcome the evil one, who used both his arm and his bat to overcome the forces of Light and Goodness. We live in dark and desperate times.