There's only one cure for what's wrong with all of us pitchers, and that's to take a year off. Then, after you've gone a year without throwing, quit altogether.
--- Jim Palmer

Chip Cannon hit a homer. New Hampshire had little on the way of offense at home. A last-place team from the St. Petersburg area beat up on the Blue Jays. No wins for you!

The Jays really throttled the Mariners last night, exploding for three home runs off beleaguered Mariner starter Ryan Franklin (5.2 IP, 8 R, 5 SO, 0 BB). But that's not what everybody cares about. We want to know whether the Jays will sweep Seattle, whether the Jays will make any moves before the waiver deadline, whether the Jays have a chance at the post-season this go-round, and whether Eric Hinske really has it figured out, magically turning back into the beautiful carriage we all thought we were getting in to in 2002.

Well, I've consulted my Magic 8 ball, and I'm afraid the answer to all those questions is the same: Outlook not so good.

As you all learned in your perusal of Batter's Box over the past 24 hours, yesterday was my birthday, and we tried something new in the Hall of Names arena, with a piecemeal all-July 20 team. And as promised, we continue this narcissistic trend with a followup ... the all-Mick(ey) team.

Now, there have only been 45 Mickeys (or Micks) to play major league ball, but three of those have made it to the Hall of Fame, including of course a particular Yankee CF you've all certainly thought up already. What it doesn't include ...

Last night the Jays wore their road caps with their home jerseys and scored 12 runs. What's in store for us tonight?

A 9-4 win, that's what!

Some days, all you have are replacement reporters. And that's me. Yesterday, the farm affiliates went 2-3.

Eyes, boring a way through me
Paralyse, controlling completely
Now there is a fire in me
A fire that burns

The pitcher has to find out if the hitter is timid. And if the hitter is timid, he has to remind the hitter he's timid.
--- Don Drysdale

OK, I know I promised a picture of a guy who'll rock you like a hurricane today, but after Eric Hinske's magnificent two-homer performance last night I had to put up a picture of The Dude.

There was a request a few weeks ago for a comparison between Hinske's early season stance that seemed to have made a difference and what he's doing now. Well, here you go:

In his team’s 12-10 victory last night over the visiting Seattle Mariners, Toronto Blue Jays’ first baseman Eric Hinske broke out of a lengthy slump by hitting two home runs, one of them off Seattle starter Aaron Sele, who had trouble locating his pitches. The home runs silenced the booing that Hinske has been receiving for several weeks, even though he says he hasn’t heard it.

Well, It's My Birthday, Too

No, seriously, today really is my birthday. And in my best Jack Benny voice, I can tell you that I'm 39 today. (Really. I was celebrating my third birthday at the Toledo Zoo while Neil Armstrong was taking "one small step.")

So I thought I'd build myself a little Narcissism Central Hall of Names team to celebrate -- what,. an All-Mick(ey) team? Well, yes, but that comes tomorrow.

First, here's the start of what may or may not turn out to be 366 short Hall of Names teams ... it's the All-July 20 team. And against all odds, although only 32 men total have made the majors having been born on that date -- none on my actual birthday, alas -- two of them even made the higher-level All-July team, the July Franks, which debuted here more than a year ago.

If you want to build an all-birthday team of your own for Batter's Box Interactive Magazine ...

This was a win for the ages - not because we want to put the video in a time capsule, but because it took ages to finally win this thing. Eric Hinske, no doubt hearing the rehabbing footsteps of Corey Koskie, slammed a pair of two-run homers (his first multi-homer game since August 2003); Wells, Cat, and Dog each had three hits.

In case you missed it, according to Fordin's Notes: Bush expected back Thursday, so we can all look for a roster move after the getaway matinee against the Mariners.

After the weekend debacle against the struggling Devil Rays, Toronto welcomes the not-so-struggling crew from Seattle, which is making the trek out east for a three-game set. Note that Thursday afternoon is a 12:30 pm matinee.

The Mariners' offseason spending spree, as many predicted, was not sufficient to vault the club into contention in the tough AL West (although few would have predicted the total regression of Adrian Beltre). The M's are pretty good defensively and have an outstanding bullpen, but their starters have been shaky and the lineup isn't deep. It's an opportunity for the Jays to get on track, so long as they take the right approach at the plate.

This week's Scout features a peach-fuzz middle infield, a much-ballyhooed but fading ace and a few guys that just seem to have Toronto's number.

On to the Advance Scout!

People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.
--- Rogers Hornsby

Updated since originally posted!

Yesterday, it was John Gibbons doing the shouting; today's photograph features a very angry Gregg Zaun: