Randy Johnson is the Ugliest Man in Baseball. He was Born To Lose. And lose he did, as the top of the Jays lineup got on base again and again and again. The Big Unit was crumpled and folded, and it was wonderful to see.

Oh, and SHEA HILLENBRAND STOLE HOME!!! And I was there! And someday I'll tell my grand-kids....

Any time you think you have the game conquered, the game will turn around and punch you right in the nose.
-- Mike Schmidt

That's the sound of offensive explosions reverberating all the way through the Blue Jays' system, including an incredible 9th inning for New Hampshire, an amazing 10th inning for Auburn, and yet another stupendous performance by Adam Lind. All this, and Josh Banks pitches his best game of the year. Could anything ruin this night? Only some spoilsports in Pulaski.

Gustavo Chacin was uncharacteristically wild, walking a career high six batters in just five innings of work, and the bats couldn't get anything going against the immortal Aaron "Biggie" Small.

The Instant Replay has been transformed! It has undergone a metamorphosis!

Updated at 3:30 AM!

This is the series many of us have been waiting for!

That's right, it's time for a good old fashioned caption contest. Prize to be determined, but rest assured, it'll be as "fabulous" as the junk I usually give away.

Your subject: a mound conference between Huckaby and Speier.

Baseball has been good to me since I quit trying to play it.
-- Whitey Herzog

Can't anybody here play this game?
-- Casey Stengel

Evidently not.

Five wins for the affiliates, with the only loss coming on a balk. There was a cornucopia of excellent performances last night. New Hampshire scored four runs in the first inning which might be a bigger surprise than Auburn scoring 14 or Lansing scoring 16. Two minor leaguers, Justin Singleton and Ryan Klosterman, each went 4-4. Guillermo Quiroz hit two home runs. Francisco Rosario pitched 2.1 hitless innings for his first save of the year. The best pitchers on the three lowest teams, Chi-Hung Cheng, Robert Ray and Jesse Litsch all won as they had a combined 38 runs scored for them. Both Lansing and Pulaski defeated Burlington.

I can see Earl Weaver smiling, and saying, "that is why I like the 3-run homer so much". The Jays did a masterful job of controlling the strike zone, and outplayed the Sox in most phases of the game, but some days that just isn't enough. Two Sox longballs and missed Jay opportunities were the story of this game.

Gregg Zaun and Russ Adams were great, but an 8th inning Iguchi homer off Speier was the difference. Dustin Hermansen blew away the Jays in the ninth for the save. Any thoughts to help ease the pain?

One of the most under-represented Blue Jays in photo of the day so far has been Orlando Hudson, but not because I haven't been trying: he just moves so damned fast. I "just can't win for losing", as Rod Black would say.

Here he is, warming up prior to a game:

Have you ever thrown a ball 100 miles an hour? Everything hurts. Even your ass hurts.
-- Bob Gibson

Iowa and North Carolina, at least. The only noteworthy event in Burlington, Ontario yesterday was the announcement of Gordon Currie's intention to join Gennum.

Anyway, instead of going over every game as per usual, I'll just update you all on the noteworthy events and prospect happenings of the five games played last night.

Despite losing two in a row to the Blue Jays, the White Sox look to be headed to the postseason. The Pale Hose haven't been there since waaayyy back in 2000 (that's the turn of the millennium, for those youngsters out there). They also starred in the postseason in 1993 (and we all know how that turned out) and 1983, but you have to go all the way back to 1959 to find the White Sox' last World Series appearance.

Before even 1959, and this is a time that only Magpie would remember, the White Sox starred against the Cincinnati Reds in the World Series that nearly destroyed baseball.