Comes out of the Virginia swamps
Cool and slow with plenty of precision
With a back beat narrow and hard to master

Here's Russ Adams, eagerly awaiting his turn in the batter's box:

Sadly, there's very little that most of us can do. But I recommend that rather than do nothing, you can make a donation to the American Red Cross as I did. (Please be patient; the link may take some time to load because they are very busy). They are on the ground directly helping victims and are best able to bring their resources to bear on the problem.

Other suggestions are most welcome.

Whether the results be nameless or scoreless, only a few games were played last night on the farm. Ted Lilly pitched well, and I have some trivia questions for you all...

UPDATE: This has now transformed into a Trivia Challenge thread. We don't need no stinkin' minor leagues.

The Jays were blanked by a team whose momentum should carry it down to the Morlocks before the season ends, so instead of talking about the game, I'm going to talk about the Internet's history.

Since 1979, each September brought with it an influx of new users to the Internet. Especially prior to 1995, when the National Science Foundation opened the Internet to commercial use, students usually first gained access when they went away to university; the Internet, after all, was primarily an academic endeavour.

Tim Berners-Lee first publicized his World Wide Web project in 1991, changing the way the public would view the Internet forever. Before then, it was seen as what it really is: a medium for many services, including Usenet.

So we've seen the Chacin-Chen matchup; as recently as August 25, there was the legendary Chacin-Chacon matchup. But what are the Chances of working mid-1970s OF Charlie Chant, who is one of the few double-"Ch"s in big league history, into the discussion?

Incidentally, in a nice bit of symmetry, after five AB with the '75 A's, Chant was traded to the Cardinals for another double-initial guy, IF Larry Lintz, who once stole 50 bases in a season (1974 to be exact) for the Expos.

Alas, Choo Choo Coleman, does not qualify for this squad, as we are only considering last/family names ...

And Ch(en) got the win. That was frustrating.

Louisiana, Louisiana
They're trying to wash us away
They're trying to wash us away

Last night we saw everyone's favouite Welshman, Gregg Zaun, go three-for-three with a walk thrown in for good measure. Here's Zaun shaking hands with Butterfield as he rounds third after homering against Tampa Bay:

2 wins, 2 losses and 2 games cancelled for Katrina.

So I finally broke down and committed to writing one of these here Game Reports.

It's no exaggeration, and only slightly a groaner of a pun, to say, "Gee, this is a heck of a team." Consider that you could make a more than passably adequate Hall of Names team just with the 25 Gonzalezes and six Gonzaleses who have played in the majors, and you have some idea just how Good (and we're not talking Detroit/Toledo Tiger/Mud Hen Andrew Good here) this team can be.

There are no weak spots on this team made up entirely of players who had last names beginning with the letter "G" (yes, yes, go ahead and snicker -- there are no weak G spots. There, it's overwith) ...

Ho hum, just another win.

Wait...Bush got some run support? What's next, a hurricane? Someone wearing earplugs during a baseball game?

The Jays face the only team with a more disappointing last two weeks, as the weary and demoralized Baltimoreans come to town for a three-game set that was, at one time, shaping up to be a meaningful pennant-race series. After being swept by the A's in a four-game set at Camden Yards, Baltimore is simply hoping for a return to normalcy and an escape from the controversy that has surrounded this club without any real respite since Jose Canseco named three players in the Orioles' spring training camp in his book.

This is not, however, going to be easy for the Jays. Rodrigo Lopez was brilliant in his last start, and 21-year-old Hayden Penn, who was nearly traded away mid-season, hopes to give Baltimore and its loyal fans some optimism with a strong start on Thursday, when rosters expand.

This week's Scout features an impending end to a streak, an ex-MVP candidate and a troubled pitcher with a troubling amount of money still guaranteed by Baltimore.

On to the Advance Scout!

Now you swear and kick and beg us
that you're not a gambling man
Then you find you're back in Vegas
with the handle in your hand