We're looking to build a team full of players with the goofiest names in baseball history. That could mean a lot of things .. .
Maybe so. Let's find out.
After all, according to BBRef, there have only been 18 Bernies in big league history -- and that's if you count Carlos Bernier -- and three more with "Bernard" (and one Benard) as a last name. And the Bernie patrolling CF for the Yankees right now is the only one of those 22 guys who has ever been an All-Star, and pretty much the only one who ever got remotely close.
So we need to get creative.
Get Your Irish Up (to the Plate)
It's an unorthodox take on an all-Irish Hall of Names team ... but no, sorry, Shawn Green didn't make the cut.
But what to do with Barry?
Will this team be more than So-so?
Is Juan Samuel a last-name no-no?
Will you all even give a damn?
For this Hall of Names is new ... All-Sam.
And thanks for playing, Manny Lee and Manny Alexander, but despite the stellar keystone combo you would present, there's also no viable All-Manny team out there. So let's go a different direction.
Olbermann was always a good on-air personality, but this essay cemented what I always suspected -- he was an even better writer. I used several of Olbermann's old ESPN.sportszone.com essays in the freshman writing classes I was teaching at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute at the time to demonstrate one point or another, but never this particular one because I didn't believe the standard 18-year-old engineering major would "get" the power of "The Ninth Man."
To truly appreciate this essay, you have to be a baseball fan -- that's "fan" in the linguistic sense, as in "just short for fanatic" -- and you must have a feel for the history of the game and the power of baseball relationships across time. The readers of Batter's Box will understand "The Ninth Man" -- and after all these years, may also understand why, in retrospect, I now believe Olbermann didn't even take the concept far enough. But we'll do so here.
It seems remarkable, but only four men in the history of the game have been named "Robin" -- and if Ventura ever enters the Hall of Fame (unlikely, but obviously at least worth discussing, or we wouldn't be here) that means three of the four Robins will be enshrined in Cooperstown. Ventura would join Robin Roberts and Robin Yount in The Hall, leaving former Cubs/A's/Rockies/Reds outfielder Robin Jennings wondering just what the hell happened.
But no, even with two current Hall of Famers, there's no "Rockin' Robin" team to be built. So do we go with the 21 guys with the initials "RV" for an "All-Big-Rig" team? Uh, no. How about guys like Ventura who share a name with a famous highway? Unlikely at best. But wait ... read through that Mike Green Hall Watch piece again. See the comparison of Ventura to Ron Cey? An idea takes flight ...
Wow, this one was surprisingly easy to fill out ...
The interesting conundrum in this case (hence "debate") is that of the 124 players in major league history who bore the name "Scott," a full 25 of them had that appellation as their surname (family name) rather than their given or first name, including a few key All-Stars. So which will be better? The last name "Great Scotts" or the first name, um, "Scott Land Yards"?
Let's see.
We're looking for ballplayers whose first names appear in the titles (not just the lyrics) of popular songs of the rock era, roughly since the end of World War II. You must provide the title of the song, the artist who performed it and the player you are invoking. For instance, I might submit: "Mickey" by Toni Basil, CF Mickey Mantle (or if we need a catcher, Mickey Cochrane).
There are a few rules ...
Did you know that Julio Franco is the only Julio in the history of MLB to make an All-Star team? Actually, the odd thing about entering "Julio" as a search term in the always-fabulous BaseballReference.com site ...