Imploding bullpens make us all a little crazy. You've been warned.

It has long been my secret theory that the Blue Jays have suffered karmic punishment these last twelve years. They have offended the gods of baseball, and must be made to suffer.

The crime? Running Tom Henke out of town.

So, about eighty million men left on base, that's not pretty, but at the same time it was a close game and came down to the final at-bat.

There are a few things I want to talk about:

This was one of those games during which fans have to remind themselves: even the very best teams lose 60 times a year. At some point last night – I think it was right around when Matt Whiteside entered the game – you had to just resign yourself to the loss and start looking ahead to the next game. Players can’t do that, of course, but fans can. That’s one of the many advantages to not actually being a member of the team.

Anyway, here are a few notes on the game:

After three false starts trying to write this Game Report, I suddenly realized why I had such a hard time building up a rhythm. Nothing could possibly recapture the nervous energy of actually watching this game. Nothing.

Toronto vs Boston. Fenway Park. Patriot's Day. Haven't we seen this before?

Some random facts on the game:

No lead is safe! This was one of those losses I can live with, after a bad start there were a lot of positives for the fighting Jays. Great performance from the bullpen, good comeback by the offence who had chances to take a lead - there were runners at the corners when Hinske came up with two outs in the seventh.

It went bang - I said rap up.
Well I'm aware that the guy must do his work
But the piledriver man drove me berserk.

Not a compelling game. When the other pitcher is completely on his game, it's seldom a lot of fun. If the other pitcher is someone like Johan Santana or Pedro Martinez, it can at least be extremely impressive. But Ryan Drese is nothing like that. It's a little boring watching him beat you.

Another Exhibit for Murphy's Law. My Game Reports focus on the Jay bullpen, and Roy Halladay throws a complete game gem. But, hey, I'll take the win over a good story any day.

Or, their first home win, at least: Oakland 6, Jays 3.

• 1 pitcher's duel (6 innings)
• 2 miscues, Blue Jays flavour (or 1, if preferred)
• 2 homer announcers
• 15 860 fans
• 50 players, divided

Mix players with fans in large Coliseum-sized bowl. Quickly add pitcher's duel (less than 1 hour, 15 minutes). Sprinkle in miscues and garnish with homer announcers. Serve Pacific-style.

The Jays moved 2.5 games in front of Boston and New York, and stayed 1.5 games ahead of the second-place Orioles, with a solid 5-2 win in Oakland. The key blow was once again struck by The Dude Himself, Eric Hinske, whose fourth-inning homer off Dan Haren capped a two-out rally and plated three runs.

With a surprisingly busy schedule last night (and the overwhelming desire for sleep dictating my every move for the last two days) it looked as if I wasn't going to be able to watch and report on a game that would probably go until well after midnight.

So here's a pinch-hit Game Report, from a fella most of you are familiar with. Take it away, Jobu:

In the rubber match of the Jays opening homestand Ted Lilly returned from the disabled list to face Matt Clement.

There's room for you if you say "I do"
But don't say no or you'll have to go
We've done no wrong with our blinkers on
It's safe and calm if you sing along

The fighting Jays are back. A win would have been better, but there were a few things to enjoy.

I watched the game on television with Liam over at his mother's house, which is why I wasn't participating in the game thread. Which made reading it afterwards especially interesting. And of course, it's still growing as I write this. I feel like Tristram Shandy...