There are, however ...
There are, however ...
In this quick-and-dirty Hall of Names entry, we find just enough for a starting lineup and only a few folks who can take the ball to the hill and get it over the plate, so your suggested edits are welcome and invited!
But for now, it's time to meet ...
The truth is, we can build one of the greatest Hall of Names teams ever assembled with the guys who retired with 493 this or 2992 that ... in fact, let's do just that. And we'll start with just a few basic rules ...
Wait for it ...
A trip to ...
To get back in the Hall of Names spirit, let's examine the 19th most common of those names, one that bears significance for me as my own middle name (though of course, as usual, middle names do not qualify for this team) ...
In fact, as we contine to build up a Hall of Names roster for each of the 25 most-common male names in North America, we move to the 13th most common of those names, the name of a man who wrote some pretty famous letters (epistles, even); and on the baseball diamond, the name of another man they dubbed "Big Poison."
And with a nod to the former of those two, we can even give this team the name of a "real" professional (independent league, anyway) baseball team, as it's time to meet ...
Back when I was a wee lad (okay, actually, I was a fat kid, so probably just "back when I was a young boy" is more accurate), my best friend in the world was a little league teammate named Jason. We were both huge fans of The Great Game, somehow even forming the first and only Ohio-based Ralph Garr fan club; he was a better player than I was, but to be fair, that's a bit like claiming the title of "Slightly Less Likely to Strike Out in a Game Situation."
We're not often in touch any more, but I can't help but think back to our days with the Dorsey's Drugs junior league ball club, especially as I put together this Hall of Names team, next in the list of squads composed entirely of players with the most-common boy's names in the United States, which in this case, as you have surely guessed, brings us to "Jason."
So in a nod not to the old Homestead Grays of the Negro League but rather to my childhood pal's actual name, it is time to meet ...
In a mournful nod to yesterday's sad events, here's a Hall of Names team featuring the men of Major League Baseball named "Cory" -- or since there have only been six (seven if you count the middle-named Christopher Cory Gomez), also "Corey" or in one case "Kory."
Partially in recognition of Cory Lidle's career bookend teams (Mets and Yankees), we can't help but name this squad ...
Let's be clear about how much rules can suck sometimes. There have been about 100 major league ballplayers in the game's history to bear the given first name "Kenneth."
Unfortunately, that does NOT include what would be two-thirds of a mighty fine starting outfield in father/son duo George Kenneth Griffey(s) Sr. and Jr. But even without their combined 700+ homers and two All-Star MVP trophies (one each), this could be a pretty good ballclub, as we meet ...
So yes, I have tired head about T.O. But as should surprise absolutely nobody at Batter's Box, in my head, this became a prime Hall of Names opportunity. We've done a few initial teams in the past -- All-G.M., for instance, and All-M.D., among others.
So you can see what's coming, right? It's time to Cowboy up and meet the All-T.O. team, which (with a nod to the wide receiver's acclaimed "hot dog" status), we will dub ...
To be clear, that means historical big league players with the given first name "Jeffrey" -- not alternate spellings or nicknames or middle names or anything of that sort. If there are to be exceptions to that rule, well, we'll cross that -- what's the word? -- when we get to it. Which, not coincidentally, brings us to our team name, as it's time to meet ...
Eric Neel over at ESPN.com has this gem today:
Boof Bonser. It doesn't hurt that he has posted a sub-4 ERA and a handful of wins since coming back from Triple-A, but even if he threw grapefruits in batting practice, he'd be worth it. If we had a metric for names -- say, VORN (value over replacement name) -- and that metric took into account how much fun the name is to say (both at home and away), and how the name somehow managed to be worthy of both ridicule and respect at the same time, and how the name used alliteration to good effect -- Boof Bonser would score roughly 82.7 on that metric, putting him head and shoulders above his next nearest competitor, Coco Crisp of the Red Sox at 63.9.
Which leads to this obvious challenge ... What major leaguer, active, retired, whatever ... has had the highest career VORN? (Basically, whose name has been the most fun to say?)
Bonser and Crisp are on the table -- that sounds like a mid-summer's picnic menu -- so who else gets the nod? Nicknames are welcome (like "Boof' obviously) but given names are even better. Alliteration optional (say that three times fast). Bring it on, Bauxites!
Though we were tempted to again go with an avian nickname such as "The J. Danforth Quails," instead we'll name this squad with another nod, to the biggest-selling (so far) English-language novel of the 21st century, The Da Vinci Code ... That's right, it's time to meet ...
Compared to the other names we've looked at, there is a shocking dearth of players in MLB history with that designation; once you remove all the players with that middle name, along with the five men with the last/family name Christopher (as well as early '80s DET LHP Mike Chris), there are only just over 100 or so candidates to choose from. And just one Hall of Famer -- Christopher "Christy" Mathewson is a good one to have heading the rotation, though.
He's heading that rotation for a squad that bears an avian nickname like Toronto's hometown Blue Jays; the home ballpark is the Three Acre Wood, and it's time to meet ...