Batter's Box Interactive Magazine

On PEDs

Anyone who has hung out in section 518 with me can tell you that I can yell. I've always had good control of my voice, but a high school drama teacher taught me about my optimum pitch and altered the way I speak forever.

I thought nothing would ever again change the way I speak in such an extreme way. I was wrong.

18 months ago a variety of things came together to make my life difficult. My breathing became erratic and then nearly impossible. The fix involved a potent cocktail of inhaled stimulants and steroids in pill form. And after three weeks of that, my voice changed in a subtle and amazing way. I got my loud voice back, yes, but with it came with an unexpected bonus: I could sing notes half an octave lower than I could before, and hold notes for much longer.

I got to thinking: if I sang for a living and I knew there was a pill that was inexpensive, that I wouldn't have to take for very long and that didn't have any obvious or immediate side effects that would greatly improve my singing voice in less than a month, how could I justify not taking it?

That was a really weird, unexpected bit of perspective, courtesy of Life.

Posted by Named For Hank on Sunday, December 16 2012 @ 07:07 AM EST.

On PEDs | 21 comments | Create New Account

The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.

Chuck - Sunday, December 16 2012 @ 09:56 AM EST (#266902) #

Well, that admission is going top keep you out of the Hall of Fame. I hope you're happy now.

John Northey - Sunday, December 16 2012 @ 10:30 AM EST (#266905) #

Ah, but is it a PED that will help his writing ability? Didn't seem to give him the ability to write longer articles or to use big 10 letter words. Thus it is more the fact it is banned by other groups that will cause him to be ineligible even if it does not assist in the method he would use to get in the HOF.

Hmmm... wonder how baseball writers would respond if a requirement to be allowed to be considered for the various writer/broadcaster sections in the HOF was to be regularly tested for the same drugs players are? Bet the answer would be 'no way' as then they'd have to think about what over the counter medicines they take and the negative reaction people would have to a moralizing writer complaining about players using what he uses.

bpoz - Sunday, December 16 2012 @ 11:22 AM EST (#266909) #

I read an article a few years ago that steroids did have a beneficial effect to health. I realize that there are some bad side effects. I am not an expert in any of this.

So anyhow if old people can get & stay stronger in their 80s & 90s then this is a good thing. I do not know about the benefits & risks involved. Also I do not know how to judge someone's quality of life.

And last, this post has nothing to do with baseball. I have picked up a lot about proper English on this site and do value that.

Original Ryan - Sunday, December 16 2012 @ 11:28 AM EST (#266910) #

I wonder if the Hall of Names voters are as picky about PEDs as the Cooperstown ones.

smcs - Sunday, December 16 2012 @ 12:11 PM EST (#266911) #

The only known, long-term health risk is liver damage, but that only happens with orally ingested steroids. So, um, look our for that, NFH.

Geoff - Sunday, December 16 2012 @ 12:12 PM EST (#266912) #

I think what gets misunderstood is that it is not the use of steroids that is a major health concern, but the abuse of them. Strictly administered and controlled, they do not pose a health risk and can provide very real benefits. However if the use goes beyond a certain point, it can be very destructive.

And so if NFH decided to take it upon himself to become more beloved than Pavarotti, he'd be facing serious issues chasing that dream with a fistful of steroids that he looks at as the key to his self-improvement. And this is why steroids are banned. Better that nobody be finding the benefits to be had in a safe way than to have to worry about who among hundreds of players might go too far with it and present a shameful case of a person who destroyed his livelihood in pursuit of a better life while everyone stood around and watched. And then you can worry about kids getting into it, with all the wisdom and patience and prudence that they have, seeking steroids as a means to an end.

The issue is not that steroids are inherently evil. It's that humans are inherently foolish and you can't trust them. Merry Christmas everyone!

bpoz - Sunday, December 16 2012 @ 12:37 PM EST (#266917) #

Thanks. Basically in time research COULD FIND that an 80-100 year old man/woman can have a better more active life style. Vitamins are great and I hope other advances occur, maybe gene something or other.

christaylor - Sunday, December 16 2012 @ 01:51 PM EST (#266920) #

Pedant alert:

I think it is important to bring up how lazily the term steroid is used in everyday discussion. Using the word steroid tends to evoke anabolic steroids, those vilified drugs that cheetahs have been known to take, which are distinct from corticosteroids which would be my guess at what NFH was inhaling (they're a common treatment for severe asthma).

Named For Hank - Sunday, December 16 2012 @ 02:08 PM EST (#266922) #

Well, that admission is going top keep you out of the Hall of Fame. I hope you're happy now.

I already have a Louisiana Press Association Award, so I'll live.

Didn't seem to give him the ability to write longer articles or to use big 10 letter words.

Ouch.

The only known, long-term health risk is liver damage, but that only happens with orally ingested steroids. So, um, look our for that, NFH.

Thanks, it was just for six weeks.

The issue is not that steroids are inherently evil. It's that humans are inherently foolish and you can't trust them.

Exactly. It was so easy, had such an immediate effect, and had no visible risk in the short term.

Using the word steroid tends to evoke anabolic steroids, those vilified drugs that cheetahs have been known to take, which are distinct from corticosteroids which would be my guess at what NFH was inhaling (they're a common treatment for severe asthma).

The inhalants were salbutamol and ipratropium, whatever the hell those are. The steroid was a pill. But even if the pills had been something else, the fact that I could take a magic pill for six weeks and change my singing voice forever blew my mind and let me clearly understand why someone would take a PED.

Geoff - Sunday, December 16 2012 @ 02:17 PM EST (#266924) #

Anabolic steroids are used for many types of therapy. Again, they aren't inherently evil and have many uses when used with great care. Anabolic steroids only became a controlled substance in the US after their great champion, Ben Johnson, rose elegantly to prominence like a roman candle in 1988.

Mind you, there is much in chemistry that is done to create a wide array of steroid compounds that I have little clue about. Some might only be seen in a negative light, and you would need a lot of study to make sense of all the mess of variety out there, in my opinion. There may be more selection than in your local cereal aisle.

Chuck - Sunday, December 16 2012 @ 02:18 PM EST (#266925) #

Until we get a good look at NFH's back (for tell-tale backne) and until we subject his urine and blood to thorough testing, it is incumbent upon to simply assume the worst. There is no need for a high brow distinction between this kind of steroids and that kind of steroids. That level of parsing is intellectual gamesmanship, nothing more. He was clearly using to ameliorate his yelling and while we applauded his efforts then, even knowing how he came to achieve such decibel levels, it was, in retrospect, reprehensible behaviour and we are rightfully retroactively offended. Tsk tsk, NFH. Tsk tsk.

Also, he turned me into a newt (though I got better).

Burn him at the stake.

Mike Green - Sunday, December 16 2012 @ 05:45 PM EST (#266959) #

Opera singers have sometimes taken much more serious measures than taking a little pill to improve their careers. It might have been for the good of humanity if certain baseball PED users had emulated them. Wimps.

Richard S.S. - Sunday, December 16 2012 @ 08:03 PM EST (#266968) #

Or we can assume all players with above replacement stats as suspect PED users. And those equal or below as having a bad reaction to the PEDs.

Dave Till - Sunday, December 16 2012 @ 08:04 PM EST (#266969) #

Certain kinds of steroids can be beneficial - many hay fever sufferers use a corticosteroid to treat chronic allergic rhinitis (which is a fancy medical term for a perpetual case of the sniffles). I know this because I am one of them. I guess I am not eligible for MLB or the Tour de France, among other things. :-)

Buck O'Neil was interviewed on the subject of steroids once - he said that the only reason that Negro League players didn't use steroids was because they didn't have them.

I've always believed that it was Barry Bonds who ruined it for steroid users - he built himself up so much - allegedly by illegal means - that he looked like a cyborg.

Mike Forbes - Sunday, December 16 2012 @ 08:19 PM EST (#266970) #

If I was a pro athlete and knew I could get around the drug testing (which is very possible), I'd take PED's aswell. People talk about integrity and all that jazz but if you knew you could make an extra 20 million in your career, I bet 9/10 of you would jump at it.

Magpie - Sunday, December 16 2012 @ 10:28 PM EST (#266979) #

I've always believed that it was Barry Bonds who ruined it for steroid users - he built himself up so much - allegedly by illegal means - that he looked like a cyborg.

And also because he was Barry Bonds, one of the most nasty and unpleasant fellows the game has seen. I think the physical transformations of McGwire and Sosa were just as striking. I remember what McGwire and Sosa looked like when they were rookies, and whoa! Their 1998 selves resembled those earlier persons as much as I resemble ... oh, Barry Bonds!

katman - Monday, December 17 2012 @ 04:33 AM EST (#266985) #

Wait... where can the rest of us learn about this optimum pitch thing?

I'm serious.

Mike Green - Monday, December 17 2012 @ 08:51 AM EST (#266988) #

And also because he was Barry Bonds, one of the most nasty and unpleasant fellows the game has seen.

That might be a little hyperbolic. Bonds certainly lacked some social graces, but I doubt that he would make my top 20 of nasty and unpleasant fellows in the game. Mind you, owners make up at least 1/2 of them.

Bonds, pere et fils, would make a good story, wouldn't it?

vw_fan17 - Monday, December 17 2012 @ 12:18 PM EST (#267013) #

Wait... where can the rest of us learn about this optimum pitch thing?

I'm serious.

Seconded..

hypobole - Monday, December 17 2012 @ 03:46 PM EST (#267039) #

Wait... where can the rest of us learn about this optimum pitch thing?

Google?

Named For Hank - Monday, December 17 2012 @ 08:57 PM EST (#267079) #

Place your hand at the small of your back. Start humming, loudly, beginning at a high note and slowly slide down the scale to as low as you can hum while still hitting notes.

Go ahead, I'll wait.

Somewhere near the bottom note, probably uncomfortably low, you'll feel a neat vibration in the small of your back. You might even feel it in your ribcage if you did it right. Try a few more times to isolate this note.

From now on, this is where your speaking voice should be when it's time to be heard. At first this will feel alien, like you're putting on a muppet voice or singing everything you speak. And until you get comfortable with it, you may sound robotic, like you've lost all of your inflection. Keep practising.

I have spoken for six and eight hours at the top of my voice in a loud room using this technique, and have found it both saves my voice and allows everyone to hear me.

On PEDs | 21 comments | Create New Account

The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.