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Let's start with our shocking statistic of the day, the one that will make you think "who?"

Since rookie Tommy Hunter joined the Texas Rangers rotation on a regular basis back on June 28, he leads the American League with a 1.97 ERA, over eight starts.

That has led the Rangers TV crew, Josh Lewin and Tom Grieve, to tag the young righty with a wonderful nickname that works on about six levels: Tommy "Big Game" Hunter. Genius!

In honor of that, let's dole out some other "those really should be" nicknames to players around the game, Toronto and otherwise. The do not need to be -- and in fact, shouldn't be! -- "real" nicknames, but rather just plays on words using player names.

A few rules (and examples) ...



  • Let's stay away from the borderline offensive nicknames, ranging from Todd "Go to" Helton all the way to whatever some of you have already thought up for Albert Pujols. Keep it clean!
  • They can be real stretches -- if you want to try Aaron "Jack and Jill Went Up the" Hill, be my guest.
  • Spelling doesn't matter -- Matt "Happy" Holliday will be glad to know. But pronunciation does, as in Roy Halladay "Greetings."
  • First name plays-on-words are always on the clock -- right, Justin "Time" Verlander?
  • Nicknames don't have to come between the first and last name, though that's ideal. After all, what would we do without Jason Marquis "de Sade" and "Welcome" Matt Cain?
  • In fact, the nickname can come before AND after some part of the given name -- giving us Adam "Over and" Dunn "With."
  • Partial names are fine, too -- see Jonathan Papelbon "Apetit!"
  • What else strikes you? Huston "Sesame" Street? Heath "Taco" Bell? Who's going to suggest Nick "Name" Markakis?

Dive in, Bauxites -- creativity calls!

Reader Challenge: Just in the Nick(name) of Time ... | 16 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.
Dan Daoust - Thursday, August 13 2009 @ 11:58 AM EDT (#204657) #
But pronunciation does, as in Roy Halladay "Greetings."

So, you know, let's stop calling him Doc already.

Now for my inner Chris Berman:

Scott "Rockin' and" Rolen. (sniff)
Lyle "Take the" Overbay.
Marco "Polo" Scutaro.
Raul "Cesar" Chavez.
"Feelin' a Little" Randy Ruiz.
Jose "Tony" Bautista.
Vernon "Not Doing" Wells.
Vernon "Eating" Wells.
Vernon "The $126 Million Albatross" Wells.
Vernon "The #1 Reason Why the Jays Are Doomed for the Next Five Years" Wells.
Vernon "I'd Just As Soon Put Lloyd Moseby in Centre" Wells.
Mick Doherty - Thursday, August 13 2009 @ 12:02 PM EDT (#204658) #
Dan, great stuff to start with, but, um, Wells ... er, Wells, Wells, Wells ... you seem to have careened wildly off track by the V-is-for-Vernon, V-is-for-vitriole ...
Dan Daoust - Thursday, August 13 2009 @ 12:21 PM EDT (#204659) #
I've called him all those things.
Mike Green - Thursday, August 13 2009 @ 12:41 PM EDT (#204660) #
Edwin Widefoot Encarnacion
Scott Ins and Outs, Ups and Downs
Travis Bull Snider
Scott Money Richmond
Ricky Train Romero


johnny was - Thursday, August 13 2009 @ 12:43 PM EDT (#204661) #
Lyle "Shouldnotplay" (against lefties).



JustinD - Thursday, August 13 2009 @ 02:49 PM EDT (#204667) #
Pronunciation matters eh? What about poetic license? So I cant do:

Scott "If I were a Rich-" mond?

What about...
Brandon A League of Their Own
Josh "Row Row" Roenicke Your Boat
Shawn Marcum My Words
Brian "Peter and the" Wolfe
John McDonald Had a Farm

Some of these are truly terrible I know. Sorry. Bad puns, gotta love them. Or do you?
Dave Rutt - Thursday, August 13 2009 @ 05:04 PM EDT (#204676) #
One that I've always used despite nobody else using it is "The Placido Effect".
soupman - Thursday, August 13 2009 @ 05:07 PM EDT (#204677) #
Brian "Moist" Tallet
Mick Doherty - Thursday, August 13 2009 @ 05:26 PM EDT (#204679) #

Tallet, Polanco, Richmond and Scutaro are all tied for my favorite so far.

How 'bout -- and here's a stretch --  David "Steroids? Are you serious?" Ortiz"-ing"?

Denoit - Thursday, August 13 2009 @ 06:53 PM EDT (#204687) #
Travis Sniderman
Schad - Thursday, August 13 2009 @ 07:46 PM EDT (#204689) #
Intentionally awful: Jeremy Accardo "drive back to Las Vegas would be a welcome break from business class".

Chuck - Thursday, August 13 2009 @ 07:57 PM EDT (#204690) #
Tommy "Big Game" Hunter

I hear the name Tommy Hunter and I think of this guy, an Ontario boy who fancies himself a Texan.
CeeBee - Thursday, August 13 2009 @ 08:07 PM EDT (#204691) #

Larry Parrish the thought.

Mickey Put me on the Mantle

Whitey I drive a Ford.

Harmon Kill a Brew or a Ball

Hank Aaron one out.

Ron Santo Claus is comin to town.

Don Lock me up.

Lloyd Moseby Dick.

yeah, a few of them are a stretch. :)

 

JohnL - Thursday, August 13 2009 @ 09:19 PM EDT (#204693) #
Since pronunciation is flexible, and using his real first name there could be

Alexis "too expensive for the Blue Jays" Rios

zeppelinkm - Sunday, August 16 2009 @ 10:20 AM EDT (#204800) #

Jeff "He sure does" Bagwell / The Grocer ...

Jeff "He" Kent? He can!

Jimmy "Holds the" Key

The Kent one is pretty weak...

Chuck - Sunday, August 16 2009 @ 10:47 AM EDT (#204803) #
Jeff Immanuel Kent
Reader Challenge: Just in the Nick(name) of Time ... | 16 comments | Create New Account
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