Commenting in the Sammy Sosa poll, Bauxite ayjackson explained his "other" vote as follows:
"With a year out of baseball, he was likely able to follow a rigorous program of PEDs - like we've never seen before. He was probably employed as a guinea pig by the world's PED leaders. He will have almost "bionic" eyesight and romp to All-star and HOF numbers. However, these numbers will be taken with a grain of salt by the increasingly skeptical baseball fan and writer and no awards will await him at the end of his comeback."
Which got me to thinking. It's Friday afternoon, and we are deep in the off-season, so what better time for a Box tradition- the collaborative outrageous story. Bionic eyesight, guinea pig. Houston, I think we have a start. I'll carry on with it.
After a stellar 2007 season, many surprises will await him. In November, his agent will inform him that the CIA had a plan to have him destroy aging weather satellites with three swings of the bat. The plan will be apparently foiled when France gets wind of the plan and complains that this constitutes an illegal militarization of space. The SSS (Send Sammy to Space) Coalition will protest France's intervention in internal American affairs, and institute a campaign to rename "french kisses" as "Spanish kisses". Millions of people around the world will participate in the campaign, although some commentators feel that the name had little to do with it. By the end of the off-season, Sammy had a new nickname, "The Dreamboat" and everything was looking up until...
"With a year out of baseball, he was likely able to follow a rigorous program of PEDs - like we've never seen before. He was probably employed as a guinea pig by the world's PED leaders. He will have almost "bionic" eyesight and romp to All-star and HOF numbers. However, these numbers will be taken with a grain of salt by the increasingly skeptical baseball fan and writer and no awards will await him at the end of his comeback."
Which got me to thinking. It's Friday afternoon, and we are deep in the off-season, so what better time for a Box tradition- the collaborative outrageous story. Bionic eyesight, guinea pig. Houston, I think we have a start. I'll carry on with it.
After a stellar 2007 season, many surprises will await him. In November, his agent will inform him that the CIA had a plan to have him destroy aging weather satellites with three swings of the bat. The plan will be apparently foiled when France gets wind of the plan and complains that this constitutes an illegal militarization of space. The SSS (Send Sammy to Space) Coalition will protest France's intervention in internal American affairs, and institute a campaign to rename "french kisses" as "Spanish kisses". Millions of people around the world will participate in the campaign, although some commentators feel that the name had little to do with it. By the end of the off-season, Sammy had a new nickname, "The Dreamboat" and everything was looking up until...
