Jays lose, to the Marlins. Bummer.
Enough about them. Let's talk about me. We are here today to consider the Mystery of the Magpie.
What is it?
A cute little bird? Granted, one with some fairly weird and disturbing habits. But let us not speak of such things as depositing eggs in other birds' nests, mimicking their songs... not to mention an almost pathological fondness for Bright and Shiny objects.
A cute little bird... or a shrieking harbinger of doom?
Last week I wrote about the greatness, more or less, of Alex Rodriguez. He's gone 5-22 since I did that.
Before that, I scoffed at the Detroit Tigers. I noted that they had played Minnesota and Kansas City 17 times, and hinted very strongly that they were a paper tiger who had been fattening themselves on the Weak and Defenseless. Jim Leyland and crew came into the Toronto and took two of three from the Blue Jays.
In the very same piece, I noted that the Atlanta Braves had won 16 of 24 to put themselves back into the equation in the NL East. "They're ba-ack!" I proclaimed.
The Braves have lost 14 of 17 games since I started crowing about them.
Before that, I noted that the San Diego Padres had shaken off their rough start, and had risen to the top of the NL West. I roundly asserted that they were now ready to blow away the rest of the division, as I had foreseen before the season even started. The Padres instantly slipped back into third place, where they remain to this day.
All power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts... absolutely. Absolutely, it does. But I find as well that it makes a fella humble. I am not certain that I should be deciding, all by myself, just what would be the best way for me to make use of This Awesome Power I so clearly possess.
I ask for your input, dear readers.
And while we're at it... you could always Look Upon My Works and Tremble, little mortals.
In the meantime...who are we kidding? The Red Sox, the Yankees... these guys are just invincible. They have so much money, so many great players. The Yankees lose Matsui and Sheffield... how the hell do they have a prospect left in their system at all, let alone one who can step into the lineup and contribute the way Melky Cabrera has contributed? And the Red Sox? The entire starting rotation has, not to put to fine a point on it, sucked. Blown chunks. With the exception of the old guy with the bad ankle. They're in first place anyway.
What can you do? How can the Blue Jays possibly compete with such behemoths?
Might as well give up, J.P. No chance. Your fate is sealed.
I have spoken.
Enough about them. Let's talk about me. We are here today to consider the Mystery of the Magpie.
What is it?
A cute little bird? Granted, one with some fairly weird and disturbing habits. But let us not speak of such things as depositing eggs in other birds' nests, mimicking their songs... not to mention an almost pathological fondness for Bright and Shiny objects.
A cute little bird... or a shrieking harbinger of doom?
Last week I wrote about the greatness, more or less, of Alex Rodriguez. He's gone 5-22 since I did that.
Before that, I scoffed at the Detroit Tigers. I noted that they had played Minnesota and Kansas City 17 times, and hinted very strongly that they were a paper tiger who had been fattening themselves on the Weak and Defenseless. Jim Leyland and crew came into the Toronto and took two of three from the Blue Jays.
In the very same piece, I noted that the Atlanta Braves had won 16 of 24 to put themselves back into the equation in the NL East. "They're ba-ack!" I proclaimed.
The Braves have lost 14 of 17 games since I started crowing about them.
Before that, I noted that the San Diego Padres had shaken off their rough start, and had risen to the top of the NL West. I roundly asserted that they were now ready to blow away the rest of the division, as I had foreseen before the season even started. The Padres instantly slipped back into third place, where they remain to this day.
All power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts... absolutely. Absolutely, it does. But I find as well that it makes a fella humble. I am not certain that I should be deciding, all by myself, just what would be the best way for me to make use of This Awesome Power I so clearly possess.
I ask for your input, dear readers.
And while we're at it... you could always Look Upon My Works and Tremble, little mortals.
In the meantime...who are we kidding? The Red Sox, the Yankees... these guys are just invincible. They have so much money, so many great players. The Yankees lose Matsui and Sheffield... how the hell do they have a prospect left in their system at all, let alone one who can step into the lineup and contribute the way Melky Cabrera has contributed? And the Red Sox? The entire starting rotation has, not to put to fine a point on it, sucked. Blown chunks. With the exception of the old guy with the bad ankle. They're in first place anyway.
What can you do? How can the Blue Jays possibly compete with such behemoths?
Might as well give up, J.P. No chance. Your fate is sealed.
I have spoken.
