I went to yesterday's game, and I took notes. Here they are.
Pre-game
I don't understand people who are willing to line up for an hour for breakfast. I'm sure Cora's, on Blue Jays Way, has good food, but there are at least thirty people waiting in line at 11:00 for their first meal of the day. How do they have the patience to do that, especially if they're hungry? (I also don't understand long lineups for bars or nightclubs, either.)
Even as early as 11, there are obvious signs that baseball is going to happen today. Fans are already making their way along Blue Jays Way or vaguely wandering about in the neighbourhood while carrying baseball gloves. In the Dark Years Of Interbrew, baseball in Toronto happened stealthily - you could be two blocks away and not know that anything was going on.
I just bought a Blue Jays cap from the Jays Shop. It is made in China. This would bother me, except that I know that everything is made in China nowadays. (By the time we are old and gray, China will rule the world.)
A brief political detour: The National Post's feature article today is on global warming skeptics, and why they should be taken seriously. These skeptics must be younger than I am - when I was a kid, I don't remember the temperature hitting 27C in May.
I'd forgotten that today was Vernon Wells Bobblehead Day; by 12:30, when I got to Gate 2, they were all gone. I'm not too concerned - I already own an Eric Hinske bobblehead and a Cal Ripken bobblehead, and neither of them look like Hinske or Ripken. In fact, the Ripken bobblehead looks more like me than Cal (and I don't resemble Ripken in any fashion, other than that I am his age).
Top 1st
Just after the obligatory "Play ball!" from the designated kid in the stands, there's a delay for a few minutes. What was that about?
I probably should have been able to guess that it was not going to be Ty Taubenheim's day, as Jim Thome hits a line drive that is powerful enough to knock the webbing out of Jose Figueroa's glove. Of course, this just might be saying more about Figueroa's glove: well-travelled minor leaguers probably don't spend that much money on gloves, and certainly aren't given any by syncophantic equipment manufacturers.
Bottom 1st
White Sox starter Jon Garland and Vernon Wells endure an epic struggle: by my count, Wells saw 16 pitches, including one that was hit a long way before going just foul. He wound up earning a walk the hard way.
Second-guess The Manager, Part I: Why did Gibbons start the runners on first and second with one out? Troy Glaus has many virtues, but consistent contact isn't one of them. He struck out, and Catalanotto was DOA at third. I think Gibbons is a good manager, but sometimes I think he likes to start the runners just because he can.
Top 2nd
The wheels come off Ty T.'s wagon: he's consistently wild high and outside, and walks the first two batters. This leads to Second-guess The Manager, Part II: when the first two men have reached on free passes, why have Jose Uribe bunt? Why not see if Uribe can walk his way on base, too? Since Podsednik, who came on after Uribe, also walked, the bunt just meant a free out for the Jays. Of course, none of it mattered: the Sox got three runs in the inning anyway.
Something I noticed: when the fifth deck boos a missed strike call, the booing comes from either one side of the deck or the other, but not both. This suggests that fans don't realize that they are seeing the ball from not quite the right angle. (It also suggests that we root for the home team, which is right and proper.)
When you buy a water bottle from a hard-working teenager patrolling the fifth deck, he is obliged to remove the bottle cap, lest it be turned into a deadly missile. However, you are allowed to bring in a water bottle, cap and all, from the outside world. Go figure.
Top 3rd
The all-star ballots are handed out. I vote for Delgado for National League first baseman, having momentarily forgotten about Pujols. Now, my ballot will not be taken seriously, and will be thrown into the Stupid Pile or something. Delgado is a good hitter, but Pujols is Uberman.
Taubenheim continues to pitch as if home plate was about a foot to the left of its actual location, and is excused for the afternoon. His successor, Brian Tallet, has world-class sideburns - sideburns so bountiful that they actually meet at his chin and form a beard of sorts. It's a look that is a cross between Mountain Man and Seventies Cool. Mind you, if he continues to throw strikes like this, he can paint his face green for all I care.
Bottom 3rd
It's time for the birthday announcements. Zee is turning 84. Happy birthday, Zee! Have you managed to outlive your 25 older siblings?
Luis Figueroa, temporarily installed at shortstop, has the face of a long-suffering baseball lifer. Not surprisingly, when he hits a ground ball, he runs it out full-force: when you can count your major-league plate appearance on the fingers of your two hands, each at-bat takes on a greater importance. I didn't realize he was that fast.
The fifth deck is cruel to those who don't get around too well. One poor older woman struggles, limping and with a cane, all the way up to the 23rd row. Her younger relative pointed out that there were empty seats lower down, but she insisted on painfully making her way up to the seat she was assigned. I am grateful that all of my body parts are working more or less as per specifications (something you can't take for granted after a while).
4th inning
If Jim Thome were any closer to the plate, he'd be standing on it.
"Konerko" is a fun name to say. Nerk. Nerk nerk nerk.
Vernon up again, and hits another long drive just foul, into the same section he reached in the first. Moral: you have to be lucky as well as good.
Top 5th
Jermaine Dye hits one out, and somebody sitting in the bullpen catches it without moving a muscle. Today is not going to be Our Boys' day, I fear. When the home team falls behind, fans turn torpid: I sit and lifelessly gaze out at the field. What the heck, it's a great day to be out in the sun.
A kid one section over has brought his own small homemade sign: "Sox stink!" It's a picture of a sock with smell lines emanating from it. That's the type of can-do spirit that will be needed to survive in today's tough, competitive economy.
More between-birthday greetings: this time, Arthur Cooke, now 14, has a whole birthday greeting window for himself.
Bottom 5th
Gregg Zaun has the Baseball Beard, which is basically the Pitcher Goatee with a bit more hair.
At the plate, Figueroa makes McDonald look like Babe Ruth. Come home, Russ: all is forgiven.
I miss the old World's Fastest Grounds Crew Music.
Some fans are leaving the game already. It's too early to give up. And where else do they have to go that is so important?
Top 6th
And, while I'm grumbling: what's with the black uniform tops on a hot day?
One advantage of having played for the same team for a while is that you get to know your home field. When Uribe hits a ball off the left-field wall, Catalanotto positions himself perfectly, and reaches the ball quickly enough to hold him to a single.
According to the in-wall scoreboards, the Yanks and Red Sox are both winning. This means that the Jays are going to fall a game behind despite beating the defending world champions in two out of three games.
Meanwhile, as I grumble, Jim Thome hits a ground ball to second, where "second" is defined as "shallow right field, about half a dozen steps from first base". If Thome ever decides to go the other way with a pitch, he'll have time to circle the bases twice.
Bottom 6th
Why did I decide to watch Jon Garland pitch? I knew, full-well, that he owns the Jays. As Rios waves at a changeup for strike three, I begin to wonder whether his good times are coming to an end.
Of course, just as I sink into despond, Glaus connects. He doesn't look like he hits the ball hard; it just seems to travel out of the park of its own accord, as if the rules of gravity were slightly different for a Troy-aided sphere. Then, Overbay connects; it looks like we might have a game here!
If Hill had not struck out, Hinske was scheduled to hit for Figueroa. Question: who plays shortstop if Figueroa is out? Glaus? Hinske? Hill? You?
Top 7th
This inning features a lot of non-thin persons travelling to the concession stand for one last carbo-and-beer pigout. One man, obese enough to have difficulty going up the stairs, is precariously balancing two beers and a plate of nachos, stopping every few steps to re-marshal his forces. Canada, your people have grown large.
A.J. Pierzynski decides to challenge Alex Rios's arm on a ball hit down the line. Boom. Eventually, they will learn not to do that. At this point, I'd rank Rios's arm only behind Barfield's: Mondesi had a stronger arm but less accuracy, and Green, while accurate, didn't have an arm this strong.
Bottom 7th
Figueroa hits a ball in almost exactly the same place as A.J., but makes it to second, since right field is not being manned by a Superman. This leads to a call to the bullpen for McCarthy. I'm surprised: I was expecting Nelson and his endless supply of sliders.
There is brief hope when Podsednik manages to not catch a fly ball hit by Vernon Wells, but it is, sadly, extinguished.
J-Force? WTF? I am so not the demographic for this.
8th Inning
The attendance is announced as 35,277. Three years ago, attendance for a similar game would have been 20,000 or so. 15,000, at an average of $15 a pop, is an extra $225,000. This is the essence of Rogers' strategy: spend more on players, and pay for them with the fans who are drawn to the park as a result. It might just work, and it's better than giving up and settling for third place in perpetuity.
You've gotta love patient hitters: Overbay fouls off two 3-2 pitches, and earns a walk. Hillenbrand then immediately hits into a double play. The Shea Hey Kid has many positive qualities, but he does hit a lot of sharp infield ground balls.
9th Inning
Molina, bless him, warms Schoeneweis up while Zaun is fastening his shin guards. On some teams, the starting catcher is too much of a prima donna to do that, and a coach has to come out and squat down.
The Jays have struck out six so far today, which puts them one short of the magic Pizza Threshold: whenever they strike out seven, every fan in the stadium gets to redeem his ticket the next day for a free slice of Pizza Pizza. (Of course, Pizza Pizza tastes not unlike the cardboard box in which it is contained, but you can't beat the price.) When Frasor induces a mere groundout, many fans around me are seriously disappointed.
Summing Up
It's easier to take a loss when the Jays fall behind early - you've already braced yourself for disappointment.
The Jays are currently enduring the Schedule Of Pain [tm], which has the Jays playing good teams while their divisional rivals get to play the Rays and Royals over and over again. According to league mandate, the Sox and Yanks get to play bad teams until the Jays are out of contention, even if that takes until August: at which point, the U.S.-based national columnists and grumpy local columnists get to write columns saying that the Jays were never true contenders to begin with. Hmph. No one ever said this was going to be easy, or that life is fair, now did they?
Pre-game
I don't understand people who are willing to line up for an hour for breakfast. I'm sure Cora's, on Blue Jays Way, has good food, but there are at least thirty people waiting in line at 11:00 for their first meal of the day. How do they have the patience to do that, especially if they're hungry? (I also don't understand long lineups for bars or nightclubs, either.)
Even as early as 11, there are obvious signs that baseball is going to happen today. Fans are already making their way along Blue Jays Way or vaguely wandering about in the neighbourhood while carrying baseball gloves. In the Dark Years Of Interbrew, baseball in Toronto happened stealthily - you could be two blocks away and not know that anything was going on.
I just bought a Blue Jays cap from the Jays Shop. It is made in China. This would bother me, except that I know that everything is made in China nowadays. (By the time we are old and gray, China will rule the world.)
A brief political detour: The National Post's feature article today is on global warming skeptics, and why they should be taken seriously. These skeptics must be younger than I am - when I was a kid, I don't remember the temperature hitting 27C in May.
I'd forgotten that today was Vernon Wells Bobblehead Day; by 12:30, when I got to Gate 2, they were all gone. I'm not too concerned - I already own an Eric Hinske bobblehead and a Cal Ripken bobblehead, and neither of them look like Hinske or Ripken. In fact, the Ripken bobblehead looks more like me than Cal (and I don't resemble Ripken in any fashion, other than that I am his age).
Top 1st
Just after the obligatory "Play ball!" from the designated kid in the stands, there's a delay for a few minutes. What was that about?
I probably should have been able to guess that it was not going to be Ty Taubenheim's day, as Jim Thome hits a line drive that is powerful enough to knock the webbing out of Jose Figueroa's glove. Of course, this just might be saying more about Figueroa's glove: well-travelled minor leaguers probably don't spend that much money on gloves, and certainly aren't given any by syncophantic equipment manufacturers.
Bottom 1st
White Sox starter Jon Garland and Vernon Wells endure an epic struggle: by my count, Wells saw 16 pitches, including one that was hit a long way before going just foul. He wound up earning a walk the hard way.
Second-guess The Manager, Part I: Why did Gibbons start the runners on first and second with one out? Troy Glaus has many virtues, but consistent contact isn't one of them. He struck out, and Catalanotto was DOA at third. I think Gibbons is a good manager, but sometimes I think he likes to start the runners just because he can.
Top 2nd
The wheels come off Ty T.'s wagon: he's consistently wild high and outside, and walks the first two batters. This leads to Second-guess The Manager, Part II: when the first two men have reached on free passes, why have Jose Uribe bunt? Why not see if Uribe can walk his way on base, too? Since Podsednik, who came on after Uribe, also walked, the bunt just meant a free out for the Jays. Of course, none of it mattered: the Sox got three runs in the inning anyway.
Something I noticed: when the fifth deck boos a missed strike call, the booing comes from either one side of the deck or the other, but not both. This suggests that fans don't realize that they are seeing the ball from not quite the right angle. (It also suggests that we root for the home team, which is right and proper.)
When you buy a water bottle from a hard-working teenager patrolling the fifth deck, he is obliged to remove the bottle cap, lest it be turned into a deadly missile. However, you are allowed to bring in a water bottle, cap and all, from the outside world. Go figure.
Top 3rd
The all-star ballots are handed out. I vote for Delgado for National League first baseman, having momentarily forgotten about Pujols. Now, my ballot will not be taken seriously, and will be thrown into the Stupid Pile or something. Delgado is a good hitter, but Pujols is Uberman.
Taubenheim continues to pitch as if home plate was about a foot to the left of its actual location, and is excused for the afternoon. His successor, Brian Tallet, has world-class sideburns - sideburns so bountiful that they actually meet at his chin and form a beard of sorts. It's a look that is a cross between Mountain Man and Seventies Cool. Mind you, if he continues to throw strikes like this, he can paint his face green for all I care.
Bottom 3rd
It's time for the birthday announcements. Zee is turning 84. Happy birthday, Zee! Have you managed to outlive your 25 older siblings?
Luis Figueroa, temporarily installed at shortstop, has the face of a long-suffering baseball lifer. Not surprisingly, when he hits a ground ball, he runs it out full-force: when you can count your major-league plate appearance on the fingers of your two hands, each at-bat takes on a greater importance. I didn't realize he was that fast.
The fifth deck is cruel to those who don't get around too well. One poor older woman struggles, limping and with a cane, all the way up to the 23rd row. Her younger relative pointed out that there were empty seats lower down, but she insisted on painfully making her way up to the seat she was assigned. I am grateful that all of my body parts are working more or less as per specifications (something you can't take for granted after a while).
4th inning
If Jim Thome were any closer to the plate, he'd be standing on it.
"Konerko" is a fun name to say. Nerk. Nerk nerk nerk.
Vernon up again, and hits another long drive just foul, into the same section he reached in the first. Moral: you have to be lucky as well as good.
Top 5th
Jermaine Dye hits one out, and somebody sitting in the bullpen catches it without moving a muscle. Today is not going to be Our Boys' day, I fear. When the home team falls behind, fans turn torpid: I sit and lifelessly gaze out at the field. What the heck, it's a great day to be out in the sun.
A kid one section over has brought his own small homemade sign: "Sox stink!" It's a picture of a sock with smell lines emanating from it. That's the type of can-do spirit that will be needed to survive in today's tough, competitive economy.
More between-birthday greetings: this time, Arthur Cooke, now 14, has a whole birthday greeting window for himself.
Bottom 5th
Gregg Zaun has the Baseball Beard, which is basically the Pitcher Goatee with a bit more hair.
At the plate, Figueroa makes McDonald look like Babe Ruth. Come home, Russ: all is forgiven.
I miss the old World's Fastest Grounds Crew Music.
Some fans are leaving the game already. It's too early to give up. And where else do they have to go that is so important?
Top 6th
And, while I'm grumbling: what's with the black uniform tops on a hot day?
One advantage of having played for the same team for a while is that you get to know your home field. When Uribe hits a ball off the left-field wall, Catalanotto positions himself perfectly, and reaches the ball quickly enough to hold him to a single.
According to the in-wall scoreboards, the Yanks and Red Sox are both winning. This means that the Jays are going to fall a game behind despite beating the defending world champions in two out of three games.
Meanwhile, as I grumble, Jim Thome hits a ground ball to second, where "second" is defined as "shallow right field, about half a dozen steps from first base". If Thome ever decides to go the other way with a pitch, he'll have time to circle the bases twice.
Bottom 6th
Why did I decide to watch Jon Garland pitch? I knew, full-well, that he owns the Jays. As Rios waves at a changeup for strike three, I begin to wonder whether his good times are coming to an end.
Of course, just as I sink into despond, Glaus connects. He doesn't look like he hits the ball hard; it just seems to travel out of the park of its own accord, as if the rules of gravity were slightly different for a Troy-aided sphere. Then, Overbay connects; it looks like we might have a game here!
If Hill had not struck out, Hinske was scheduled to hit for Figueroa. Question: who plays shortstop if Figueroa is out? Glaus? Hinske? Hill? You?
Top 7th
This inning features a lot of non-thin persons travelling to the concession stand for one last carbo-and-beer pigout. One man, obese enough to have difficulty going up the stairs, is precariously balancing two beers and a plate of nachos, stopping every few steps to re-marshal his forces. Canada, your people have grown large.
A.J. Pierzynski decides to challenge Alex Rios's arm on a ball hit down the line. Boom. Eventually, they will learn not to do that. At this point, I'd rank Rios's arm only behind Barfield's: Mondesi had a stronger arm but less accuracy, and Green, while accurate, didn't have an arm this strong.
Bottom 7th
Figueroa hits a ball in almost exactly the same place as A.J., but makes it to second, since right field is not being manned by a Superman. This leads to a call to the bullpen for McCarthy. I'm surprised: I was expecting Nelson and his endless supply of sliders.
There is brief hope when Podsednik manages to not catch a fly ball hit by Vernon Wells, but it is, sadly, extinguished.
J-Force? WTF? I am so not the demographic for this.
8th Inning
The attendance is announced as 35,277. Three years ago, attendance for a similar game would have been 20,000 or so. 15,000, at an average of $15 a pop, is an extra $225,000. This is the essence of Rogers' strategy: spend more on players, and pay for them with the fans who are drawn to the park as a result. It might just work, and it's better than giving up and settling for third place in perpetuity.
You've gotta love patient hitters: Overbay fouls off two 3-2 pitches, and earns a walk. Hillenbrand then immediately hits into a double play. The Shea Hey Kid has many positive qualities, but he does hit a lot of sharp infield ground balls.
9th Inning
Molina, bless him, warms Schoeneweis up while Zaun is fastening his shin guards. On some teams, the starting catcher is too much of a prima donna to do that, and a coach has to come out and squat down.
The Jays have struck out six so far today, which puts them one short of the magic Pizza Threshold: whenever they strike out seven, every fan in the stadium gets to redeem his ticket the next day for a free slice of Pizza Pizza. (Of course, Pizza Pizza tastes not unlike the cardboard box in which it is contained, but you can't beat the price.) When Frasor induces a mere groundout, many fans around me are seriously disappointed.
Summing Up
It's easier to take a loss when the Jays fall behind early - you've already braced yourself for disappointment.
The Jays are currently enduring the Schedule Of Pain [tm], which has the Jays playing good teams while their divisional rivals get to play the Rays and Royals over and over again. According to league mandate, the Sox and Yanks get to play bad teams until the Jays are out of contention, even if that takes until August: at which point, the U.S.-based national columnists and grumpy local columnists get to write columns saying that the Jays were never true contenders to begin with. Hmph. No one ever said this was going to be easy, or that life is fair, now did they?
