Yes, it's time to put on your G-rated thinking caps, Bauxites, and compete for the coveted Batter's Box No-Prize. You know how there are certain ballplayers, when you say their names under your breath, you feel a little bit like you're swearing?

Let's see if we can't come up with a full roster, along the lines of "25 Names You Shouldn't Say if Your Non-Baseball-Loving Nana is Around." As you might imagine, there are a few rules, not to mention some starter examples ...

... like these. Go ahead, mutter them to yourselves and see if the last name doesn't come off as a bit of a swear word:

• C/SS/OF Tony Suck (1883-84, three teams)
• OF/1B Andy Kosco (1965-74, seven teams)
• 2B/OF Jack Damaska (1963 STL)
• OF/SS/3B Nick Scharf (1882-83 BAL)
• LHSP John Koronka (active TEX)
• RHRP Scott Dohmann (active COL)
• RHS-RP John Dagenhard (1943 BOS)

As for the rules ... First and foremost, any name that approximates a "real" swear word, one that pretty much you wouldn't say in the church parking lot, is eliminated. Hmm, we may have to re-think Mr. Damaska's place on the roster, but he only played like five major league games as it was.

So, among those not qualifying -- and there will be no explanations offered, work it out yourownselves -- are fine players like Joe Adcock (not to mention the 19 men named Cox), Rick Helling, Bill Dickey and Dante Bichette, but also a whole host of hangers-on like Charlie Fuchs, Paul Assenmacher and Rusty Kuntz ... as you can see, possible (if not actual) pronunciation matters a lot more than "proper" spelling. Keep it clean, kidlings!

Actually, Sean Forman at the impossibly useful Baseball-Reference.com has apparently anticipated this sort of search, so if you use that as a resource, be careful what you put into the site search box or you'll get this page (and deservedly so!) ... However, if you really want to get into it, the fictional expletives page compiled over at Wikipedia might give you some ideas.

Foreign swear words are okay, as long as you identify them for the rest of us in a way that doesn't break the no-real-swear-words rule. So for instance, though there has never been a ballplayer named "Bollux," we might as well nod to 1993 MON and 1998 ANA cornerman Frank Bolick. Close enough to bear nomination, anyway.

Of course, a name that sounds like an expletive to one ear might not to another, so please feel free to use these fictionally nominal expletives in a sentence to demonsrate proper usage. Please note that just hating a player does not make his name an expletive; for instance, should a Red Sox fan wander into Da Box, "Bucky Dent" -- even, or given the rules above, especially with the common "middle name" bestowed, is not actually an expletive in any sane manner. However, if you provide a full sentence such as "You know, that's a mean-looking Pagliarulo you got there, Sammy" might get some Yankee lore onto the fake swear-word name carousel.

So, Bauxites, what da Guy Hecker have you got for this challenge?