Pregame:
Nice to have a tribute to Puck. First Cerutti, now Puck: it's thought-provoking when people my own age are dying of non-violent causes. Pay attention, people.
Why the Blue Man Group? Why Rios batting second? Why?
Having Shirley Cheek throw out the first pitch was classy. Having her throw it to Ernie Whitt was an inspired choice. Their hug after the pitch was heartfelt and heartwarming. It would have been the Cheeks' 47th wedding anniversary today. Why does life do this?
Top first:
Re Stewart: rule #1 is that ex-Jays always do well against their former club.
Nice pick by Overbay on Castillo's bunt! Why bunt with the leadoff man on first? I guess they figure they're not going to get much off Doc.
Not-so-nice pick by Overbay on Mauer's grounder. Opening-day jitters, I guess. What Overbay giveth, Overbay taketh away.
Doc's stuff looks good. He's got something that breaks down. He's got something that breaks in. He's probably got something that breaks up and back. I'm sure he could make it answer correspondence and do quadratic equations, too.
Memo to opposing batters: don't hit the ball to centre. V-Dub wasn't even at full throttle when he caught that.
Bottom first:
Of course, Rios gets a hit. I'd be a lousy manager.
Until I finally saw it, I didn't really believe that Glaus was now one of the Good Guys. It's like the kid coming downstairs on Christmas morning and seeing a brand-new bicycle: is that for me? Looking at him from the centre field camera, he looks like somebody who wants to hit. Preferably a lot, and quite far. He's locked and loaded (and I mean that in the good way). He was clearly looking fastball on 3-1, by the way. And who can blame him?
Nice commercial with Glaus whacking the living crud out of a pinata. The pinata had it coming.
Top second:
Hill goes four or five steps to his right to backhand a ground ball. See? He's not a statue out there.
Halladay's stuff is almost moving too much to Batista - it darts left, it darts right, it breaks down. He can make a ball sing Britney Spears songs better than Britney. (Presumably, he won't want it to sing "Hit Me Baby One More Time".)
Scoring for the half-inning: 4-3, 6-3, 4-3. Halladay's pitches drop at the last second; batters obediently hit them to infielders.
Bottom second:
Axiom: even a hitter as patient as Overbay can't work the pitcher for a walk when he's throwing strikes. Overbay apparently models himself after John Olerud (they're both Washington state lads), but I don't see the similarity. Olerud had a closed stance (sometimes too closed), and was very quiet at the plate. Overbay opens up a bit, and has busy hands. Oh well, it's the thought that counts - it's better to try to model yourself after John Olerud than after, say, Johnnie LeMaster.
Next commercial: Vernon Wells playing hide and seek. I like these commercials better than some of the ones from previous years. I still remember when they put Chris Woodward in a dress. Even though I'm trying not to.
Top third:
Wow, I didn't think they'd turn that double play - Adams double-clutched getting the ball out of his glove, and Hill was a fraction slow at second. Is Stewart not running well any more?
Halladay's strikeout pitch broke down approximately 3 feet 7 inches.
Molina hit .393 against lefties last year, according to Pat Tabler. Whoosh.
Bottom third:
The new depth in the batting order means that there are genuine hitters at the bottom of the lineup. Hill hit Santana pretty hard, just not to the right spots. And Adams was smart enough to lay off all those high pitches. Alex Gonzalez would have made approximately 11 outs on those first three deliveries from Santana to Russ.
What's up with Johnson's goat goatee? Who ever convinced him that was a good look? Of course, if he keeps hitting like that, he can have all the weird facial hair he wants and should be allowed to graze at will.
I didn't think Rios's ball was going to go anywhere but into Torii Hunter's glove, but that's just me. Both of the TV announcers were more excited by his shot than I was. Perhaps I'm too much of a pessimist by nature.
Top fourth:
That ball from Mauer rolled rather sharply foul. Perhaps Glaus knew that the groundskeepers had tailored the turf to do that? (There's nothing wrong with that, of course - the home team gets to massage the playing environment as it pleases.)
Oops. Take it easy out there, Russ. Is there something about Joe Mauer that causes infielders to discombobulate? At least, with Doc on the mound, the infielders will get a lot of practice, and should get over these jitters.
The announcers are discussing balls hit off Halladay's body or nearly so. That's a scary topic. Please stop.
You'll not be able to hit that any time soon, Mr. Morneau!
Bottom fourth:
Yay, Troy! Yay, Lyle!
What does Glaus have taped on his left knee?
Right man in the right spot: the Jays need somebody to hack away and hit a sacrifice fly. Presto, it's Shea! Too bad he's having trouble getting around on Santana's fastball - but wait... Was I the only one worrying when I saw Glaus slide? The Jays have had so much bad luck, I was expecting him to break a clavicle.
Yowza! Never try to outsmart a catcher! Welcome to Toronto, Bengie! That sucker nearly went into the fifth deck!!! Bengie is very happy. Doc is very happy. We are very happy. Santana not so very happy. It's nice to see that Molina really cares. I like watching emotional players, assuming of course that they're not trying to punch out a cameraman or something.
Sometimes I think I care way too much about this team. I'm an allegedly grown man.
Stewart made a nice catch, but it wasn't that nice a catch. He got turned around, and misjudged the ball. Wells would have made that look routine.
Top fifth:
I still don't know how Tony Batista hits the outside pitch. Or anything, really. Johnson had farther to travel on Batista's fly ball than Stewart did on Johnson's, but Sparky can read 'em better.
With a lead, Doc's just winding up and letting it fly. How sweet it is to see The Man in top form. He only needs seven pitches. I thought it was only four. I guess I missed some. (So, of course, did the Twins.) I still don't think that Halladay is in absolute top form: those ground balls have a little bit of oomph on them. When he's at his A+ level (as opposed to merely A), your grandmother could field those grounders.
Commercial: I do not want William Shatner in my home. What is he doing in All-Bran commercials? Does he need the money? He's 75 now, by the way.
Bottom fifth:
We want more runs! More! More!
Rios is hitting it hard. That's all you can ask for. Well, having the ball drop somewhere would be good. But you can't control that. Wells hits a squibber with about 1 1/150th of the force of Rios's shot. But it goes through. That's the way the world works, I guess.
Confident prediction: with Glaus hitting behind him, Wells will not be stealing 30 bases this year. Go on, throw Troy another of those fastballs, please. Oh well.
Top sixth:
53 pitches through five for Doc. Imagine how few it would have been if there hadn't been two errors.
Whew, that grounder misses Doc. Halladay doesn't finish his motion in prime fielding position. The announcers have it right: let the infielders take the ground balls.
Halladay can throw a ball that breaks in about three feet, or down and away about five feet. How does anyone ever get a hit off him? Memo to Luis Castillo: when you've been looking down for five pitches, the fastball at the top of the zone always looks high. It's called smart pitching, so quit complaining and go back to the dugout, already.
If Doc is going to get that pitch on the outside corner to Mauer, the Twins are doooooomed. Halladay dropped Mauer's ball too. What's up with Mauer anyway?
Molina just looks like a catcher. Don't ask me what that means.
You are OUT, Rondell! W00t!
Commercial: I don't want to see any more commercials for the Nikon D50!
Bottom sixth:
Molina is built like a tank. A small tank, but a tank. This is a good thing. Catchers should not look like hothouse flowers. Molina, cleverly, brought a 7-iron to the plate instead of a bat. As Pat Tabler points out, Batista reacted to that ball very slowly. He only needed to go about three steps to his left. But he still has that quick release on the double play ball. Well, actually that wasn't a double play ball. Hill was safe by about a step and a half. Boooo!
Nice bit of hitting by Adams - he took the ball the other way. 4-1 good guys.
So, armchair managers: how long do you leave Doc in the game? I'd keep him in for the seventh, of course - but do you pull him in the eighth?
Note from Jamie Campbell: Johnson bats with his right index finger in the air. This keeps his hands loose. It seems to work. Bye bye Johan.
Pitching changes are brought to you by Robax Platinum. Great: the Jays appeal to geriatrics. Soon we will get those life insurance commercials. ("No medical exam! No health questions!") We get the next best thing: old people putting for TD Waterhouse. If they start broadcasting Depends commercials, I'm going to turn off the TV and put Jerry on.
Juan Rincon looks a bit like Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. He does too. Dude!
Bases loaded for V-Dub. First pitch - right down the middle. Drat. Relax, Vern. Hit what you see. Nice pitch by Rincon - Wells was waiting for a fastball, and Rincon changed speeds on him. I can't blame Wells for that strikeout - sometimes, the other guy just does his job.
Commercial: McDonald's makes deli sandwiches? Pfui.
Top seventh:
Pat Hentgen will be driving up to Toronto on Friday to appear on the Fan 590. Why does this man not have a job in this organization?
Halladay tosses a hanging breaking ball to Hunter. Toriiii doesn't hit it. He's mad at himself. Next pitch: ground ball to first. Normal service has resumed.
Oh well: I guess Doc won't have that 0.00 ERA after all. I believe that somebody threw the ball back onto the field after catching it. One pitch and five bat shards later, Doc is out of the seventh.
Commercial: Why is there a choir singing about Rickard's Red? What the? I mean, seriously.
Bottom seventh:
That's some swing Glaus has. He's what the Jays once hoped Josh Phelps would be. You can see why he doesn't hit .300 - he swings hard with two strikes. He doesn't get cheated out there.
The Jays are 21-8 in home openers. Woah.
That's really crappy recap footage of Shea's hit. Maybe it's some sort of stylistic effect I haven't seen before.
The crowd are chanting: Ben-gie! Ben-gie! Secret to fan success: have a name with two syllables in it. Wow, that's some broken bat. That's about 10,000 toothpicks now. Oh, come on. Pitch already! Pat Tabler notes: Tony Batista barges into all infield conferences. Whatever they agreed on worked - that was a room-service grounder to second.
Top eighth:
Speier and Schoeneweis are up in the eighth.
An athletic middle infielder makes fielding look easier. Hill had to go about four steps to his right to field that ground ball, but he got there so quickly that it looked effortless.
Uh-oh. It's 4-3. Stop pitching to ex-Jays, already. It's about time to pull Doc, methinks. I'm getting a little scared. Doc gave up a lot of homers in April in the year he won the Cy, I seem to recall. Room service ground ball for out 2. Doc, of course, does not want out. But he's going to come out. It's time for Schoeneweis. Big ovation for our lad Doc. He can win, and will not lose. 88 pitches for Mr. H.
I'm worried. I can't help it.
Memo to Jamie Campbell: LOOGY stands for Left-Handed One-Out Guy. You're welcome.
There's a special sound that a large home crowd makes on a pitch just out of the zone: Yeeaaaaaaaooooooooohhhhhhhhh. Nice job, Mr. S. Three outs to go.
Someone's going to win a car! Are they giving away Derek Bell's Jeep again?
Memo to Sportsnet: I don't care about hockey. Especially now.
Bottom eighth:
Should the Twins be pitching Canadians against the Jays in the Rogers Centre on Opening Day? (Jesse Crain was born in Toronto, but apparently moved to Colorado at the age of three months, so I guess he doesn't count.) Someone ought to tell pitchers not to grow those half-beards. Or at least try something else. Why not go with Reed Johnson's goat-ee?
Nick Punto looks like somebody's friendly uncle. And he has a fun-sounding name.
There he is: Mr. Ryan is warming up. Let's see another run for him, please. He's 6'6" and 260 pounds. I think I will just call him Sir.
Is asking for a third hit from Rios today asking for too much? It is NOT!!!! Yes, sir!!!! I will now fill my screen with exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That ball went into the bullpen. I wonder whether B.J. caught it?
Ryan looks like he's about twice Justin Speier's size.
Top ninth:
Ryan practically sprints onto the field. Cue raucous applause from home faithful. B.J. is clearly ready to go. Too bad there's all those commercials to wait out. Disney has a lot to answer for.
He does the classic closer thing: he goes behind the mound, then strides onto it. Randy Myers used to do a half-circle of the mound before he stepped in. Okay, let's go.
He pitches from the stretch at all times, and is deceptively fast - he seems to sling it effortlessly in there. Nice catch, Troy!
For Ryan, after being in Baltimore, this has got to be a lot more fun. I missed a strike while I typed this. That 2-2 pitch was some serious gas. This is more fun than Batista. Gosh, that's some more serious gas. Whoofo!!! I'm going to stand up now. Be right back.
I'm back now. Woohoo!!!!!
Forcing Morneau to hit against Ryan was patently unfair. He didn't stand a chance.
This game was a dream start for J.P. and the New Jays: Overbay, Glaus, Molina and Ryan all contributed. Well, I'm happy now. Thanks for reading this far.