Of course, any time we add a new name to the lineup, I start thinking in terms of the Batter's Box standard "Hall of Names." And Matthew Elmslie, well, that gives us two or, uh, tree good possibilities. That's right, it's time to meet ...
TREES A CROWD
A number of trees you might have expected to spawn a surname or at least a nickname have produced, to date, not a single major league moniker; these include Cedar, Cherry, Chestnut, Dogwood, Hemlock, Lilac, Magnolia, Pecan, Poplar, Privet, Spruce, Walnut, Willow and Winterberry.
However, even sticking to our usual use-each-name-just-once rule, we found nearly a full forest -- er, roster -- worth of trees in the Almond, Elder, Apple, Ash, Beech, Birch, Butternut, Crab, Elm, Fir, Hackberry, Hawthorn, Hickory, Holly, Linden, Maple, Oak, Olive, Peach, Pear, Pine, Plum, Smoke and Strawberry.
But wait ... that's shy of baseball's magic number of 25; so here we will see the Forest for the trees and slide a lefty into the back of our bullpen to boot! Let's just hope nobody feels swindled by this move.
Of course, this move technically opens the door for Branch Rickey (surely a better GM candidate than Gord Ash), a fine pitcher like Charley Root and a Dallas Cowboys quarterback -- don't worry, not Drew Henson -- like Ryan Leaf. But as you will see, we have restrained ourselves in this regard.
The weak point of the team appears to be behind the plate, but we're carrying three guys in the tools of ignorance, so one will, we'd hope, step up sturdy as a tree trunk and claim the job.
The list of tree types referenced is the one provided by the good folks at ArborDay.org, so we trust it, but if you have additions or subtractions, bring it on!
Final rules note: where necessary, we are relaxing -- okay, ignoring -- the "no nicknames" rule.
** indicates Hall of Famer
* indicates All-Star
LINEUP
C Howard Maple (.244 in 1932)
1B Al Oliver* (.303 in 18 years)
2B Everett "Rocky" Bridges* (for the rock elm; .247 in 11 years)
SS Babe Pinelli (.276 in eight years)
3B Stan Hack* (for hackberry; .301, 1932-47)
LF Elmer Flick** (.313, 1898-1910)
CF Richie Ashburn** (.308, 1948-62)
RF Darryl Strawberry* (335 homers in 17 years)
DH Ty "The Georgia Peach" Cobb** (.366 in 24 years)
BENCH
C Paul Hawthorne Ratliff (.203, 1963, '70-'72)
C Bill Plummer (.188 in 10 years)
IF Ed Holly (.231, 1906-07, 1914-15)
OF Ennis Telfair "Rebel" Oakes (.279, 1909-15)
OF Estel Crabtree (.281, 1929-33, '41-'44; born in Crabtree, OH)
OF Jud Birchall (.252, 1882-84)
ROTATION
RHSP Smokey Joe Williams** (Negro Leagues legend)
RHSP Monte Pearson* (101-61)
LHSP Matt Beech (8-22, 1996-98)
RHSP Hickory Bob Harmon (107-133; won 23 in 1911)
RHSP James Almond "Al" Yeargin (1-13, 1922, '24)
BULLPEN
CL-RH Firpo Marberry (148-88, 101 saves)
RHRP Dave Elder (1-3, 2002-03)
RHRP Pete Appleton (57-66, 1927-45)
RHRP Tom Butters (for the butternut; 2-3, 1962-65)
LHRP Forest Gregory Swindell* (123-122)
So ... how "wood" this team fare, or are you stumped?
