No, here we will be looking at the literally hundreds of players who have been able to offer a positive answer to the claim in the first line of that 1973 hit single "Playground in My Mind" that Clint Holmes unleashed on the world, beginning "My name is Michael ..."

Of course, there are some rules ...

... Including the standard dismissal of middle names, though surely pitchers Thomas Michael Glavine and Richard Michael Gossage as well as Hall of Fame infielder Anthony Michael Lazzeri and Cooperstown-enshrined outfielders Thomas Francis Michael McCarthy, Carl Michael Yastrzemski and Joseph Michael Medwick would be nice options for this team.

We are also not accepting those folks who went by "Mickey" -- such as Gordon Stanley Cochrane, Mickey Charles Mantle and Mitchell Jack Stanley -- unless they actually did have the given/first name of Michael, such as Hall of Fame RHSP Michael "Mickey" Welch and 200+-game-winning LHSP Michael "Mickey" Lolich.

We are also not including any of the six men who had "Michael" as or as part of their surname -- through Eugene Richard Michael would make a nice backup infielder and an excellent candidate to manage -- nor anyone who actually had the given first name of Michael, but opted to "go by" something else, such as the case of former All-Star 3B Michael "Pinky" Higgins or of Hall of Fame OF/C/UTIL Mike "King" Kelly.

With all that in mind, then, it's not quite a beer league team, but it is time to meet ...

Mike's Hard Lemonade
** indicates Hall of Famer
* indicates All-Star

Co-Manager: Mike Scioscia (520-452, one title through 2005)
Co-Manager: Mike Hargrove (1065-1056 through 2005)

Starting Lineup
C Mike Lieberthal* (.275, 141 homers through 2005)
1B Mike Sweeney* (.304, 182 homers through 2005)
2B Michael "Mickey" Morandini* (.268, 123 SB, 1990-2000)
SS Michael Young* (.297 through 2005; 2005 AL batting champ)
3B Mike Schmidt** (.267, 548 homers, 10 Gold Gloves)
LF Mike Greenwell* (.303, 130 homers, 1985-96)
CF Mike Cameron* (.249, 173 homers through 2005)
RF Mike Easler* (.293, 118 homers, 1973-87)
DH Mike Piazza* (.311, 397 homers through 2005)

Bench
MGR/C Mike Scioscia* (.259, 1980-92)
MID IF Mike Bordick* (.260, 1990-2003)
MGR/1B/OF Mike Hargrove* (.290, 1974-85)
OF Mike Tiernan (.311, 106 homers, 1887-99)
OF Mike J. Griffin (.296, 473 SB, 1887-98)
UTIL Mike Sharperson* (.280, 1987-95)

Rotation
RHSP Michael "Mickey" Welch** (307-210)
LHSP Michael "Mickey" Lolich* (217-191, 1963-79)
RHSP Mike Mussina* (224-127 through 2005)
LHSP Mike Cuellar* (185-130, 1959-77; 1969 AL CYA tie)
5SP-R Mike Torrez (185-160, 1967-84)

Bullpen
CL-R Mike G. Marshall* (97-112, 188 saves)
RHRP Mike Henneman* (57-42, 193 saves, 1983-96)
LHRP Mike Remlinger* (51-51, 18 saves through 2005)
RHRP Mike Timlin (63-62, 130 saves through 2005)
LHRP Mike Myers (29-22, 14 saves through 2005)

Mike-ro Data ... Both backup outfielders on this team came to the majors for the first time in 1887, when the Detroit Wolverines took the "World Series" title from the St. Louis Browns by winning 10 of the 15 games played ... With Piazza moving to the DH role, that means either Lieberthal or Scioscia will need to don the mask and shinguards daily, so we'll go with the one who was both a better hitter AND the only one of the two to win a Gold Glove, Lieberthal ... Mike Sharperson, who makes the team as the generic multi-position utility guy, was once traded by the Toronto Blue Jays to the Los Angeles Dodgers for briefly dominant RHSP Juan Guzman ... Sharperson and Guzman each made the All-Star Game once, simultaneously in 1992 ...

A number of quality players didn't make the team at all, including several who made an All-Star team or two ... Two of those went on to see family make All-Star teams, too, in C Mike Tresh (.249, 1938-49 CHW, CLE) and 1B/OF/DH Mike Hegan (.242, 1964-77) ... OF/1B Mike A. Marshall (.270, 148 homers, 1981-91) was a fine player, but not nearly the best Mike Marshall for the roster, so to avoid confusion, we'll leave him home ...

Third baseman Mike Lowell could conceiveably still make additional All-Star teams, but at .272 with 143 homers through 2005, he'll never match Michael Jack Schmidt ... Mike "Mickey" Doolan played before the All-Star era (1905-18), and his .230 career average and 173 career SB aren't enough to secure a roster spot ... 2B Mike Andrews (.258, 1966-73) and OF Mike Kreevich (.283, 1931-45) deserve to at least be mentioned, and now they have been ...

Among the relief specialists who didn't quite make the cut were recent retirees Mike Jackson (62-67, 142 saves, 1986-2004) and Mike Williams (32-54, 144 saves, 1992-2003), while Jose Miguel "Mike" Fornieles (Torres) misses out on a couple of technicalities, but did lead the AL with 14 saves in 1960 ...

Even with "Mickey" Lolich the pretty obvious choice as the first lefty in the rotation, that second lefty spot is harder to fill ... It comes down to a choice among three Cy Young Award winners an d a fourth guy who just missed winning it in 1999; in all fairness, Mike Hampton is probably the least deserving of the four remaining candidates to make the rotation, though this year he did pass 1967 NL CYA winner Mike McCormick in career victories ...That brings it down to a couple of O's, 1969 co-winner (with Denny McLain) of the AL CYA, Miguel "Mike" Cuellar and 1979 AL winner Mike Flanagan ... Cuellar had the better career record (18 more wins AND 13 fewer losses), so he gets the rotation slot ....

Among the other pitchers not quite making the team were another Oriole, Mike Boddicker, who the Baltimores turned over to Boston for both Brady Anderson AND Curt Schilling, Mike Scott (134-109, 1986 NL CYA), Mike Morgan (141-186), Mike Krukow (124-117), Mike Moore (161-176), Mike Witt (117-116) and Mike LaCoss (98-103) ... Special apologies to Mike Garcia and his 142-97 career mark, which might well have slotted him ahead of Torrez and into the rotation, if not for the pesky detail of his "real" given name, Edward Miguel Garcia ...

That's about it, Bauxites. Can you adjust the Mikes in any way to make this team better?