In the interest of not wasting time, queue up "Let's Get it Started" and meet -- I live in Texas, there's really no other name for them -- "The Black-Eyed P's."

PPPlaybill Notes ... With the "N" team, we had to scratch to come up with Matt Nokes and Joe Nolan to play behind the plate, but here former All-Stars Darrell Porter and Tony Pena won't even make the team ... For that matter, neither will current All-Star Jorge Posada, as we sacrifice some defense to get Mike Piazza in the starting lineup; he'll be backed up by Lance Parrish, he of the 324 homers and three Gold Gloves ... And why not start Parrish and DH Piazza, you wonder? Then add Posada or Pena to the bench? Well, there's actually a "true DH" for this team, ignoring for a moment all the recent controversy, it's hard to ignore more than 550 career homers -- from a guy so good at what he did that he actually once won a Gold Glove while his team's primary DH ....

Other than Raffy, there are plenty of qualified All-Star types to play 1B, such as Boog Powell and Joe Pepitone -- Albert Pujols is moving out to LF -- but we'll go with the Hall of Famer, the Big Doggie, Tony Perez ... Across the diamond, Larry Parrish was a nice player, but we already have Lance filling this team's "L. Parrish" quota, so to avoid confusion we'll go with 1991 NL MVP Terry Pendleton, who like Lance, was a three-time Gold Glove winner ... Larry Parrish was fine with the leather, but never won (or deserved to win) a Gold Glove ...

Second base is a bit of a black hole, comparatively, with super-utility guys Tony Phillips and Placido Polanco probably the best bets to fill the role ... Did you realize that Polanco is on pace to lead the major leagues in batting average in 2005, but thanks to his mid-season interleague trade from STL to DET, is unlikely to win a batting title in either league? ... Phillips' super-utility legend dooms him to a bench spot, while Polanco, a .300 career hitter, cracks the starting lineup ...

The rotation is fronted by four Hall of Famers -- two righties and two lefties, so there's nice symmetry there -- and only the fifth starter's role is in question ... Do we go with one of the three remaining "P" 200-game winners, in RHSP Jim "Not Gaylord" Perry* (215-174), LHSP Billy Pierce* (211-169) or RHSP Milt Pappas* (209-164) ... Though it's tempting to take Pappas with plans to try and deal him to the "R" squad for Frank Robinson, Pierce is the best of the three -- and yet, he loses that fifth starter's role to an active lefty, in Astro Andy Pettitte, who is headed to 200+ wins and has a career winning percentage of better than .650 ...

Other names you will recognize, but will not see on the roster below, include SS Johnny Pesky*, 1B Wally Pipp (frankly, we're worried that he wouldn't stay in the lineup), SS Freddie Patek*, LF Lou Piniella (though he is the All-time "P" leader in managerial wins and will take the helm of the club), 3B Dean Palmer, CF Gary Pettis, 2005 Shannon Stewart Memorial MVP candidate Scooter Podsednik, OF Terry Puhl and some late-1950s power guys (in one case literally) in OF Wally Post and 1B Vic Power.

A few names you might not recognize include 2B Fred Pfeffer (382 SB after they started counting the stat, which didn't include his first four years) ... C/UTIL Heinie Peitz (.271 in 16 years; he played all nine positions) ... Catcher Cy Perkins (.259 in 17 seasons) ... 2B/SS/3B John Peters (.236 in 10 seasons) ... OF/IF Lip Pike hit a robust .321 from 1871-1887 ... Jose Pagan falls into that netherworld of guys you think you maybe might could have heard of but aren't sure ... 15 seasons (1959-73) as a .250-hitting utilityman will do that to a guy ...

Raise the PUP tent -- the official corporate name of the Perez Utilitymen and Pitchers LLC ... Tony made the All-P team, of course, but that's Pascual, Oliver, Carlos, Yorkis, Timo and Tomas, among others, standing around over there trying to remember who's related to who ... None of the eight baseball-playing Phelps boys, including Toronto's own Josh and the Seinfeld-disparaged Ken, made the squad ...

For the pitching staff, let's just be clear to start (or relieve for that matter), Chan Ho Park* was not considered for this team, despite his really rather nice looking 106-79 career mark to date ... Ted Power and Alejandro Pena both had good, albeit brief runs as righty closers with the Reds and Braves, respectively ... The most interesting candidates for the team, and the last two cut from the bullpen, were righty/lefy swing guys Marty Pattin* (114-109, 25 saves) and Juan Pizarro* (131-105, 28 saves) ... But with Ol' Satch sitting down in the 'pen, we should be okay without either of them ...

Among the other starters not cracking the Hall of Fame-packed rotation were righties Camilo Pascual* (174-170), Claude Passeau* (162-150), Dan Petry* (125-104) and Bob Purkey* (129-115), as well as lefties Mel Parnell* (123-75), Gary Peters* (124-103), Fritz Peterson* (133-131), Johnny Podres* (148-116) and Howie Pollet* (131-116).

THE BLACK-EYED P'S
** indicates Hall of Famer
* indicates All-Star

MGR: Lou Piniella (1452-1325, one title through 2004)

STARTING LINEUP
C Mike Piazza* (.315, 378 homers through 2004)
1B Tony Perez** (.279, 379 homers)
2B Placido Polanco (.300 career hitter)
SS Roger Peckinpaugh (.259 in 17 seasons)
3B Terry Pendleton* (.270, 140 homers)
LF Albert Pujols* (.333, 160 homers through 2004)
CF Kirby Puckett** (.318, 207 homers)
RF Dave Parker* (Nice -- 339 homers, .339 SLG)
DH Rafael Palmeiro* (9th all-time with 569 homers)

BENCH
C Lance Parrish* (324 homers, three Gold Gloves)
2B/UTIL Del Pratt (.292 in 16 seasons)
SS/3B Rico Petrocelli* (.251, 210 homers)
OF Vada Pinson* (2757 hits, 256 homers)
OF Jim Piersall* (.272, two Gold Gloves)
UTIL Tony Phillips (all but C, .266 in 18 seasons)

STARTING ROTATION
RHSP Gaylord Perry** (314-265)
LHSP Eddie Plank** (326-194)
RHSP Jim Palmer** (268-152)
LHSP Herb Pennock** (240-162)
LHSP Andy Pettitte* (171-91 at this writing)

BULLPEN
CL-RH Troy Percival* (316 saves through 2004)
LHRP Joe Page* (57-49, 76 saves)
LHRP Ron Perranoski (79-74, 179 saves)
LOOGY Dan Plesac (65-71, 158 save)
LONG-RH Satchel Paige** (28-31, 32 saves)

So what about it Bauxites? Does this team have a future in Post-season Play?