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Game Threads Toronto at Cincinnati (in Louisville)
This is the last pretend game. Next time, it's for real.

And about time, say all of us.

Today, let us amuse ourselves in the following manner. Let us make sure everyone on the team has a nickname worthy of them. Something worth cheering and yelling about.

We've obviously made a start, but there is still much to do.

This is important work, and you don't want to leave it up to the ball club. Two reasons: a) they have better things to do; b) they tend to suck at this sort of thing.

You realize that Reed Johnson is known as "Reeder" around the clubhouse; that back in the day, John Olerud was called "Olie." How lame is that? They call Alex Rios "Lexy" - which is what Liam and I call him when we're watching on TV - but Bauxites can do better than that. Of this I have no doubt whatsoever.)

Anyway, between the Jays and the Box, a fair bit of the roster is covered. Behind the plate, you'll find Going Going Zaun and Crash. The O-Dog is on second, and Thrillhouse is at short. V-Dub roams centre; in left Sparky and the F-Cat will platoon. Mighty-Mini-Me-Mouse will be back.

Doc Halladay anchors the rotation; El Artista is the closer. Getting the ball from one to the other will be the work of Jay Spy the Setup Guy. The Hawaiian Punch-Out made the team, and so did Yo! Vinnie.

And so did Gus the Polar Bear.

OK, I might have made up a few of those just now.

By the way, don't you think Gus the Polar Bear should be pitching when Ricky and Willy and Bubbles are in the house? It seems right to me...

Still, we need more. Hinske! Hillenbrand! Gross! Rios! Bush! Lilly! Schoeneweis! Frasor! Walker!

A word of caution - these must be names that please us and encourage the players. If we come up with disparaging names, we will be rewarded with discouraging performance. This is Simply the Way of Things. It is an immutable law of baseball; one of the subsets of "don't mess with a winning streak." Ever. Ever ever ever.

If you don't understand that, you don't understand nothing. The team will lose. And it will all be your fault.

So be nice, be funny, and let's get this important work done.

Posted by Magpie on Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 12:05 PM EST.
Toronto at Cincinnati (in Louisville) | 53 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.
Rob - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 12:21 PM EST (#108703) #
Hinske's SI-revealed nicknames were Ske and Hendu. Either of those could work.

Gross could be "Babe", but I like "144 Homers" better. Lilly: Square Dealer. Walker: Pistol Pete, Pete Strikeouter.

Frasor, Rios, Bush...I can't think of anything yet, and Hillenbrand is tough. We don't know him that well. Same with Schoeneweis.
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Magpie - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 12:35 PM EST (#108705) #
It's true - we probably need to see the new guys a few times, see what happens. If Hillenbrand comes up with a big hit, will I respond with a cry of "Shea-Hey!" I hope so, but who knows?

I don't think we can settle for the team's nicknames for Hinske. "Ske" is just... lazy. And "Hendu" is permanently associated with Dave Henderson in my mind.

Something that will inspire him to 30 HRs is required. A moniker worthy of respect. So that when he walks up to the plate, we all just go... "D-U-U-D-E"

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Keith Talent - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 01:01 PM EST (#108707) #

If we come up with disparaging names, we will be rewarded with discouraging performance.

I remember I relished the nickname "Lighterfluid" for Ligtenburg more than anyone I know. I would just get my friend howling when he came into the game: "Ah, they're bringing in the Lighterfluid..." and I think we saw some of the worst bullpen performances ever. eg. a close game against the Angels, bring in the Lighterfluid, blink and it's bases loaded, blink again and it's a grand slam, look up at the scoreboard 10-4 Angels.

The only worse pitching performance from last year came from Terry Adams; nickname: Ricky (from Trailer Park Boys). This was our closer, for—what?—a week and a half? Terry Adams in a save situation (up by 3 runs, a cheap save situation), loads the bases, also gives up a grand slam.

Boy has JP given us some bullpen howlers. Remember Jeff Tam? Maybe that was some motivation for cutting Koch (Krotch?). This year's pen looks to be more solid. I hope.

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Joseph Krengel - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 01:22 PM EST (#108709) #
What's this <i>Yo Vinnie</i> talk? I thought he was <i>The Incredible Chulk!</i>
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Braby21 - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 01:45 PM EST (#108710) #
How did the Reds get their runs? I just turned the channel to the Fan just now in time to hear about 'Ske's homer.
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King Ryan - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 01:46 PM EST (#108711) #
Cliff Politte was the absolute worst. In 2003, whenever Politte came into a close game, I literally turned the TV off and went outside. It just wasn't even worth watching. At least Adams didn't get too many chances; Politte just blew games all year long.
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King Ryan - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 01:49 PM EST (#108712) #
By the way, as far as nicknames for bad relievers go, nothing will ever beat Yankee fans and their naming of Felix Heredia: "The Run Fairy."
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Jobu - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 01:58 PM EST (#108713) #
So that when he walks up to the plate, we all just go... "D-U-U-D-E"

I kinda like it actually. Why don't we just call Eric "The Dude"? Hey, it worked for Jeff Bridges.

Anyone got any ideas for Koskie?

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Mike Green - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 02:09 PM EST (#108714) #
Dave Bush- the Surgeon or Burnin' or if you want to be way out there both (the Burnin' Surgeon :))
Gabe Gross- the Gabe

There's a well-known Toronto law firm Koskie and Minsky; I always think of them when Koskie and Hinske are at the corners. The promotional opportunities are clearly there!
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Zao - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 02:10 PM EST (#108715) #
Well when Bush is on fire he could be Burning Bush.
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Zao - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 02:11 PM EST (#108716) #
Dang too slow. Well mine has the 'g' on the end so I like mine better :)
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Ron - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 02:18 PM EST (#108717) #
Rios's name is Lexi

For Frank M, I just like to call him Franky.

Whenever Bush and League pitch in the same game and stink, I could it a Bush-League performance.

There's no nickname for Koskie yet.

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Skinner - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 02:43 PM EST (#108720) #
A friend of mine calls Hinske E-Hin, but theres already F-Cat and V-Dub.

And for Schoeneweis theres always Weis Guy
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Stellers Jay - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 02:51 PM EST (#108721) #
Way off topic, but good news for a Canadian kid. ESPN is reporting that Rich Harden has signed a 4 year deal with an option for a 5th year. No word on the money involved but it should be significant because they are buying out his arbitration years.
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Magpie - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 03:17 PM EST (#108724) #
What's this Yo Vinnie talk? I thought he was The Incredible Chulk!

I forgot about the Incredible. I always go "Yo! Vinnie!"

Nothing for Koskie, but something to do with K-O... ?

And I see some kind of pun emerging from Schoeneweis. Sho Nuff. Show-Em-Up. Help us out here...

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Joseph Krengel - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 03:17 PM EST (#108725) #
Err, Warren just made a Carterism: he said "gooder" although he did correct himself shortly thereafter.
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Magpie - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 03:20 PM EST (#108726) #
Gabe Gross- the Gabe

The Gambino!

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BallGuy - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 03:51 PM EST (#108729) #
As a former Hamiltonian, for Koskie we could something similar to the Ti-Cats song: Koskie wee wee. Koskie rah rah. Holy mackinaw. Come on Corey, eat 'em raw!


Or maybe not :)
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BallGuy - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 03:52 PM EST (#108730) #
I meant I am a former Hamiltonian, not Koskie.
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R Billie - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 03:52 PM EST (#108731) #
Bottom of the 9th with the Reds leading 7-6. One out with Alfaro on first.

Rios up having lined out to both left and right field in the game. Lines it deep to right but it has just warning track power. He's 0 for 3 today but drove the ball three times. 2 away.

The next batter grounds into a fielder's choice to end the game.
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VBF - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 04:43 PM EST (#108733) #
Koskie wee wee. Koskie rah rah

As a minor Argo fan, I would have to disagree with that.

I was listening to Jays talk after the game and I must say that I sometimes feel sorry for Mike. I know he must long to have some intelligent baseball discussion with the callers yet he continues to have to deal with "I hate J.P." guys on the radio and that caller that said he ruins the game when he commentates. Geez. I propose that us Bauxites try to call in more so Wilner can feel like there's some intelligent baseball fans out there.

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Cristian - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 05:03 PM EST (#108735) #
Nothing for Koskie, but something to do with K-O... ?

Kanadian Kontent?

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doctor_payne13 - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 05:42 PM EST (#108736) #
I certainly wasn't clever enough to think of this, but I recall someone proposing the nickname "El-Al" for Rios. The reasoning behind it was the spanish sound it had to it, as well as the connection it has to Rios' name. His middle name is Israel, and apparently El-Al is Israel's national airline. Not to mention the fact that Al is an abbreviated version of Alex's first name. I thought it was pretty brilliant, but it never caught on... kudos to the person who thought of it last year.
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Mike Forbes - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 05:58 PM EST (#108737) #
If AI is Alex's first two initials then why not call him AIR Rios? Or maybe the AIR Era. I really liked that one someone used the other day for John McDonald, "The Minister of Defense". When Gabe Gross does something big maybe we could say something like "That was Gross!"

Okay. I'm done.
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doctor_payne13 - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 06:23 PM EST (#108740) #
Oh yeah, that was the other reason for that nickname. The A.I.R. thing ties in to the whole El-Al airline connection. It's all coming together...
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Tyler - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 06:23 PM EST (#108741) #
I know he must long to have some intelligent baseball discussion with the callers yet he continues to have to deal with "I hate J.P." guys

These aren't necessarily mutually exclusive subjects.

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Ryan C - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 06:28 PM EST (#108742) #
Any nickname that takes a full paragraph to explain it's meaning should be disqualified ;)

These may be more along the lines of things to put on signs at the game rather than actual nicknames but howbout Rios Bravo, Rios Grande, or Diamond Rios.

Or Berman-isms? Everyone loves Bermanisms.
- Alex "When my baby smiles at me I go to" Rios.
- Pete Walker, Texas Ranger
- Jason "Down Goes" Frasor
- Aaron Hill 90210
- Frank "That Darn" Catalanatto
- Reed Johnson Family Vacation
- Greg "Oscar" Myers
- Frank "Of Mice and" Menechino
- Russ Adams Family
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CeeBee - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 06:44 PM EST (#108743) #
Hillenbrand- Hillie
Koskie- The Anola Kid
Hinske- Thumper
Rios- Rifle(not quite a Jesse but no slouch with the gun..err arm :)
Adams- Prez... he is an American after all
League- Big

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H Winfield Teut - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 06:46 PM EST (#108744) #
Jays released Mike Smith, then he faced them in a minor league game today, also found this article worth passing on

http://www.syracuse.com/skychiefs/poststandard/index.ssf?/base/sports-1/111243462084840.xml&coll=1
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Jdog - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 07:00 PM EST (#108745) #
How about Governor, for Dave Bush Or something along line. Governor Bush in command of his pitches today!
I also like "Minister of Defense" For Mcdonald.
The Gabe, Baby Gross, The Gambino...they all work.

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Mick Doherty - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 07:12 PM EST (#108746) #
I certainly wasn't clever enough to think of this, but I recall someone proposing the nickname "El-Al" for Rios. The reasoning behind it was the spanish sound it had to it, as well as the connection it has to Rios' name. His middle name is Israel, and apparently El-Al is Israel's national airline.

Yeah, that was me -- you work in the airline industry long enough, you start to think that way. El-Al would not only be Air (A.I.R.) Israel, it would also be short, en espanol, for "El Alexis."

I really think El-Al is the way to go, even if you have to explain it, because it works on about fourteen different levels.

And if Jamie Campbell is around, he could help us with another home run call (Rios wears #15, right?) like "El-Al Flight #15 takes off for the 27th time this year!"

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NDG - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 07:13 PM EST (#108747) #
By the way, as far as nicknames for bad relievers go, nothing will ever beat Yankee fans and their naming of Felix Heredia: "The Run Fairy."

I know it's not baseball but the best regularily used 'mean' nickname has to be former Montreal goalie "Red Light" Racicot.

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Mick Doherty - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 07:13 PM EST (#108748) #
Adams- Prez... he is an American after all

Sure, nickname him Russ "Quincy" Adams. Or is that too esoteric?

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Original Ryan - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 07:29 PM EST (#108750) #
If we wanted to be really annoying, we could refer to him as Russ "Bryan" Adams. As an Adams myself, the Bryan Adams jokes got stale about 15 years ago.
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Lefty - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 07:44 PM EST (#108751) #
Show em why
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CaramonLS - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 07:54 PM EST (#108752) #
Stop all the Cliff Politte hate, I really liked him as a releiver, yeah he did give up some bad ones, especially in his 2nd year, but you can chalk that up to injuries.

His first year w/ us was really good.
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Gitz - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 08:11 PM EST (#108753) #
Mick, I'm pretty sure Rios won't hit his 27th career home run until 2006 -- at the earliest.

Come on, Bauxites: take me on! (I'm looking at you, NFH!)

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The_Beav - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 08:37 PM EST (#108755) #
Koskie = The Canadian Clubber
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King Ryan - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 08:43 PM EST (#108756) #
In case anyone forgot; there was a game today. The Jays lost 7-6 with Frasor giving up a couple runs. Hinske hit his second bomb of the spring.

Is that all? is this Spring finally over?! Wooo.

Too bad I'm going to miss opening night for the third straight year. Not that I missed anything the last two years..

P.s. Cliff Politte sucked. 8-D
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The_Beav - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 08:55 PM EST (#108757) #
Going off topic for a bit: for all you Bauxites in the Western New York area, Jays tickets are now available at the Wegmans grocery store chain. The Jays were doing an in-store promotion today at a Wegmans in Buffalo to launch this, complete with free tickets. Not only did I receive 3 (100 level) tix to the June 15 game vs St. Louis just for wearing my Jays cap, but Ace scared the crap out of my 2 yr-old daughter as we strolled through the produce aisle. Good times all around!
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Ron - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 10:19 PM EST (#108759) #
Howard has requested a trade.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2028023

Wouldn't mind seeing him in a Jays uni.
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VBF - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 10:52 PM EST (#108761) #
For all you Bauxites in the Western New York area, Jays tickets are now available at the Wegmans grocery store chain. The Jays were doing an in-store promotion today at a Wegmans in Buffalo to launch this, complete with free tickets. Not only did I receive 3 (100 level) tix to the June 15 game vs St. Louis just for wearing my Jays cap, but Ace scared the crap out of my 2 yr-old daughter as we strolled through the produce aisle. Good times all around!

huh?

Isn't that a little out of their district? Good job for scoring the tickets, but I don't really get this one.

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Braby21 - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 11:23 PM EST (#108762) #
I wouldn't say Buffalo is too far away to Market the Jays. It's a lot closer than The Bronx, and its a lot easier to get tickets as well.
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Ryan C - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 11:24 PM EST (#108763) #
Isn't that a little out of their district?

I can only speak for what Ive heard on the Buffalo Sports radio station which I listen to from time to time, but there seem to be a decent number of Jays fans in Western New York. Toronto is closer to Buffalo than New York city is I think, and I can imagine it being difficult for them to cheer for New York anyway given that they're rivals in every other sport. Kind of like how alot of Hamiltonians hate the Leafs.

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VBF - Saturday, April 02 2005 @ 11:36 PM EST (#108764) #
That's true. It just boggles me a bit that there are promotions taking place over there. Personally it seems a little far away from Jays Nation. They must have realized that there was a significant Jays following in the States.

If I were walking in a grocery store in the states, the last thing I'd expect is to see Ace. Good for the Jays!
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The_Beav - Sunday, April 03 2005 @ 12:01 AM EST (#108765) #
Take it from a Canadian now living in Buffalo, this is definitely Yankees territory. Not only does the Buffalo sports radio station broadcast Yankees games, but we are forced to watch the YES network for our baseball fix.

BUT -- even though Ace may have scared my daughter, I can't tell you how many kids I passed in the store were suddenly wearing Jays stickers and chanting "Blue Jays, Blue Jays!"

Ace may not be the greatest mascot in the world, but is there a Yankees mascot kids can identify with? My daughter talked to her grandparents in Toronto tonight, and told them she saw the Blue Jays mascot today. Scared or not, at least it's a start ... right?
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CaramonLS - Sunday, April 03 2005 @ 01:00 AM EST (#108766) #
What do you honestly think it would take to land Howard?

Good power hitting Prospect... would at take Hill + Jackson, Maybe more I would think.

We'd also have to drop one of Hinske, Hillenbrand or Cat. But none of them are upgrades on the Phillies Current line up.



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BallGuy - Sunday, April 03 2005 @ 10:09 AM EDT (#108771) #
I listen to WGR 550 (Buffalo) regularly and the Jays have advertised on 'GR for several years now (and a couple of the announcers are Jays fans). As well, the Jays have done promotions in the Western New York area for a while, usually involving the Yankees (buy tix for the Yankees and get free tickets to another game). It does make sense to market there; heck, the Bills do some marketing and advertising in Southern Ontario. Each team is the closest pro team to the other market.

Red Light Racicot was good but my fave was Patrice Breeze-by (Brisbois).
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Ducey - Sunday, April 03 2005 @ 10:24 AM EDT (#108772) #
I like the nickname "Hitske"
How about R Ad for our SS?
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NDG - Sunday, April 03 2005 @ 10:53 AM EDT (#108773) #
The most amazing spring stat I've seen so far

Pujols ain't bad.

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3RunHomer - Sunday, April 03 2005 @ 11:29 AM EDT (#108777) #
I was sure that Twins fanatic BatGirl would have a good nickname for Koskie, but she seems to have just called him "Cordel" and something about bionic-ness.

http://www.bat-girl.com/
Less stats, more sass.
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BallGuy - Sunday, April 03 2005 @ 12:24 PM EDT (#108780) #
I like the nickname "Hitske"

That's pretty good, and you can customize it too. When he is in a batting slump we can add an S in front of that.
;)
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Dan - Sunday, April 03 2005 @ 01:53 PM EDT (#108789) #
Would it be too much to offer League for Howard?

It doesn't look like League will be a starter, and as good as he looks as a potential closer, I'd rather have a young masher in the lineup. A DH/1b prospect is this teams most glaring need. This guy looks as ready as any in the minors.
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Toronto at Cincinnati (in Louisville) | 53 comments | Create New Account
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