No one gives a damn in July about a game you lost in March.
Personally, I don't even care all that much in March - however, recent events have reminded us of another of Weaver's Laws. To wit:
The best place for a rookie pitcher is in long relief.
So, what's going on here anyway?
First of all, I'm rising from my bed of sickness and pain to deliver this Game Report to you, Bauxites. Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, blah blah blah... Anyway, it's possible that I may be a little grumpy.
Weaver used to say he spent most of the spring thinking about who was going to be the 25th man on his roster. He would go through game situations in his head, over and over. If I hit for this guy, I can bring in this guy, and then I've still got this guy to hit for that guy...
The Blue Jays appear to spend no more than five minutes worrying about such things. Tops.
And what the hell. If you're carrying 12 pitchers (why, Lord, why?), you can't build a bench anyway. All you can do is make sure you've got every position covered in case someone hurts themselves during a game.
Remember last year? Simon Pond makes the team out of spring training. Seven games into the season - that's seven games - they send him back down, having noticed that they don't really have a role for him. So much for the best-laid plans of spring.
You couldn't have figured that out ahead of time? If Tosca wasn't going to use Pond to bat for Woodward and Cash, he had no role. Tosca wasn't and Pond didn't.
All this stuff has a chance to work, but it seems awfully random and sudden and whimsical. Did they decide they needed Batista in the pen because Koch has looked awful? In that case, why on earth were they depending on Koch? Why would you do such a thing?
Did they decide Chacin has been so impressive they just can't hold him back? We haven't even hit the Ides of March, people. Nothing anybody has done is impressive, or even particularly meaningful.
My own theory is that Gregg Zaun went to management and said "Batista's got three new pitches. You can't let him start. I'll be taking off my socks and shoes to give him signals."
I really dislike the idea of changing the season plan after less than 10 exhibition games. In this case, I admit, there is some rationale. If Batista is going to pitch short relief, you want him to have some time to adjust to that role.
That doesn't mean you hand Chacin a rotation spot. I'd like to see him do a little something more to actually earn it. He has still done very little pitching above Double-A. And need I remind anyone that the number 2 starter has yet to throw a pitch, the number 3 starter has exactly 16 games of ML experience, and the number 4 starter has never started more than 21 games in a season.
Batista should be fine in the bullpen. I think it's a waste of human resources, but it's hard to imagine anybody (except possibly the Yankees) being willing to put Batista in the role that obviously best suits him - swing man. He is the perfect 5th starter because you don't need a 5th starter all the time. He can go back and forth between the rotation and the bullpen and maintain his effectiveness.
It's extremely unlikely you'd get a veteran major leaguer to embrace that role, however.
Ah, I'm sick and I'm grumpy. I'm happy Gabe Gross and John-Ford Griffin hit HRs but I already knew they could hit minor league pitching. I notice Scott Schoeneweis (we all need practise spelling that one) got the win, and I'm wondering what the chances are that Schoeneweis or Justin Miller is actually starting games by mid-May. Batista worked the 9th, and also said that he thought the team was "looking for someone, like the guy who buries people, a gravedigger like the guy in L.A." Which leads to this happy thought - Batista's striding-in-from-the-bullpen-music? Why, the Funeral March, of course!
So let's do something... well, if not quite fun, at least diverting. If every team in the AL East was a cat, what kind of cat would they be?
Well, the Yankees are obviously the Lion, King of Beasts. They're huge and powerful and arrogant. They're also a little lazy, and have some very unpleasant traits. When a male lion takes over a pride, he immediately kills all the Cubs. This instantly brings all the females into heat, which is both gratifying and ensures that only one lion's genes are passed down to posterity. That sounds a liitle like Steinbrenner to me.
The Red Sox can be the Tiger - they're actually generally bigger than lions, and they're a lot easier to look at. I mean, for one of the deadliest killing machines ever to walk the earth, they're kind of attractive.
The Devil Rays are the Cheetah. They're playing with these great awful monsters, and all they can do is run really fast.
The Orioles - I don't know. Maybe they're a Leopard, passed out in a tree, working their small corner of the jungle. One where there is plenty of mayhem, and very little pitching.
And the Blue Jays? Suggestions?