And thanks for playing, Manny Lee and Manny Alexander, but despite the stellar keystone combo you would present, there's also no viable All-Manny team out there. So let's go a different direction.
In fact, this team has its roots in the TSN.com article called "What's in a Name?" I penned (Okay, "keyboarded") a few years ago which eventually spawned the entire Hall of Fames concept. In that article, I more or less said, "Give me an all-star team of players named Martinez, Hernandez, Rodriguez, Smith and Jones," and you can have everyone else -- it'd be a good game."
When you turn that into an "all time all star" team, you could pretty much stuff a roster with guys named Martinez (Pedro, Edgar, Tino, Dennis -- there have been more than 30), Rodriguez (Alex, Ivan, Francisco -- there have been more than two dozen), Gonzalez (Alex-es, Juan, Luis -- there have been 30) and Hernandez (Jose, Keith, Livan, Orlando, Roberto, Willie -- there have been 29), but that would get old and boring quite fast. So, as we always do, let's make a roster rule; it's called the "-EZ Does It Rule," and states:
"This team will be formed of major league players whose names ended in the letters -ez. However, only one player with a particular surname may be on the team." This is a similar manner to the one we used to build the All-Irish team in March of 2003.
It does lead to some conundrums though ... for instance, in the Rodriguez world, Alex or Pudge? And if Pudge, who plays shortstop? There'a former Jay named Tony raising his hand in the background; but if A-Rod plays the 6, who catches? Well, there's a Hall of Famer named Al Lopez -- not to mention a current All-Star, Javy, with the same surname -- who might just do in a pinch.
So is Tony Fernandez/Pudge Rodriguez better than Alex Rodriguez/Al Lopez? And if we go with the former, will we miss terribly LHSP Sid Fernandez? If the latter, can we live without fireballing reliever Aurelio "Senor Smoke" Lopez? The bullpen doesn't look like it will be a problem, actually, but you see the issues involved. So let's get to picking players for this team.
Among the moderately common -ez surnames that have never been represented by a major league player are Bermudez, Mayaguez, Enriquez, Melendez, Olivarez, Quinonez, Sanez and Yanez. (Close, but no -ez roster spot for Rey Quinones or Omar Olivares.) We've almost certainly missed some names, so speak up with new nominations!
The names are listed in no particular order, researched from a database of common Latino surnames available on the Web.
RAMIREZ: As mentioned, it's clearly OF Manny ... of the 14 Ramirezes who've made the big leagues, the only other one to even make an All-Star team so far is former light-hitting Braves shortstop Rafael.
RODRIGUEZ: Sure, Henry and Ellie and few others had nice careers, but this clearly comes down to a choice between Alex and Pudge.
GONZALEZ: With all due respect to the various "other" shortstops named Alex and the fine career of Luis, the mercurial Juando is the man here.
PEREZ: Okay, all the weirdness of the Pascual/Melido/Carlos Traveling Perez Brothers Road Show & Comedy Troupe aside, the best Perez, Hall-worthiness be damned, was the Big Doggie, Tony.
GOMEZ: Forget the "HIT GRAND SLAM NOW" histrionics here on Da Box; the best Gomez was clearly the Hall of Fame's 198-103 Lefty.
MONTANEZ: There's been just one, but he was an All-Star 1B/OF, and Willie was once involved in a trade for Gaylord Perry [See recent Trade Analysis story for related information.]
CHAVEZ: He's never been an All-Star -- not yet, anyway. But Eric is as fine a hot corner player as there is in the game today. What, you'd prefer Endy?
MARTINEZ: Edgar, great DH. Tino, fine first baseman. Dennis, El Presidente, perfect game, borderline Hall of Fame talent. We'll take Pedro.
HERNANDEZ: So many choices! An AL Cy Young winner in Willie; another All-Star closer in Roberto; the Cuban refugee brothers, Orlando and Livan, they of the post-season greatness; Seinfeld co-star Keith; strikeout machine but All-Star 3B Jose; many others.
FERNANDEZ: El Sid is listed with a playing weight of 230, and if that had been true, he might have doubled his career win total of 114; this spot surely belongs to Tony -- who, and this bears keeping in mind as we put this team together, played 201 games in his career at 2B.
LOPEZ: We mentioned that the Hall of Fame backstop and manager, Al, and the current Oriole catcher Javy are around; and despite the various Toronto Lopez entries -- Aquilino, Felipe, Luis -- the catchers are the best entries.
ALVAREZ: There have been a dozen major leaguers with this name, but Wilson is the only All-Star, and he has a no-hitter to his credit, while having cracked the 100-win barrier for his career last season as well. Besides, he's a lefty and any team can always use another lefty.
VALDEZ: Ismael, like Wilson Alvarez, broke through the 100-win barrier last season, though he's right-handed and that 102-103 career mark is somewhat less impressive than Alvarez's 101-88.
TORREZ: Would you believe just one major leaguer has had this name? There have been nine guys named "Torres," though. Fortunately, our one guy is a career 185-game winner, former Yankee and Red Sox hurler Mike.
BENITEZ: Oh look, another All-Star closer ... welcome aboard, Armando.
BENIQUEZ: Thre's just the Juan, er, one, Beniquez in major league history, but he lasted 17 years, mostly as an OF, though also taking turns at SS, 3B, 2B and DH.
VAZQUEZ: And yes, another All-Star RHSP, though he fell apart late last season; who's to say Javier won't bounce back strong? If we don't have room for this career 78-78 pitcher, utility infielder Ramon has put up nice numbers for the Padres.
GUTIERREZ: Speaking of utility infielders, all three major league Gutierrezes have filled that role, with Ricky being slightly better than Jackie or Cesar.
BAEZ: Danys' 55 saves over the past two seasons probably earn him a roster spot, though this team is obviously going to have a very deep bullpen.
JIMINEZ: Will the closers and utility infielders never stop coming down the -EZ Pipeline? Jose or D'Angelo? We'll have to see how this roster plays out.
SANCHEZ: Another middle infielder? Well, at least Rey has done more starting than utility-ing.
SUAREZ: If we end up needing a legitimate backup catcher, Ken is our man.
VELEZ: Once considered one of the "crown jewels" of the mid-1970s NYY farm system, Otto ended up a late expansion pick of the original Blue Jays, and finished second on the inaugural '77 team in home runs, with 16 to Ron Fairly's 19.
VASQUEZ: We had this discussion on Da Box recently, and in fact instead of there never being a player with this last name in MLB history, there have been two -- Jorge and Rafael are both undistinguished cup-of-coffee RHRPs.
There are some additional possible spare parts in backup OF Luis MENDEZ, LHRP Jose Antonio NUNEZ and current Ranger RHSP Jose DOMINGUEZ. So, what kind of overall team can we build from these guys?
How about this 25=man roster:
* Indicates All-Star
** Indicates Hall of Famer
LINEUP
C/MGR: Al Lopez**
1B Tony Perez**
2B Tony Fernandez*
SS Alex Rodriguez*
3B Eric Chavez
LF Willie Montanez*
CF Juan Beniquez
RF Juan Gonzalez*
DH Manny Ramirez*
ROTATION
RHSP Pedro Martinez*
LHSP Lefty Gomez**
RHSP Mike Torrez
LHSP Wilson Alvarez*
RHSP Javier Vazquez*
BULLPEN
CL Armando Benitez*
LHRP Willie Hernandez*
RHRP Danys Baez
RHRP Jose Jiminez
LONG Ismael Valdez
BENCH
C Ken Suarez
IF Rey Sanchez
IF Ricky Gutierrez
OF Luis Mendez
OF Otto Velez
Now, keeping in mind the -EZ Does It rule, how can this team be better?
