He might be third rate. In College, I was dating a girl - she proposed dinner with her sister and some guy. The guy ended up being Jeff O'Neill, then of the Whalers, now of the Carolina Hurricanes. He must have been 19 or 20 at the time, I was probably 22 or 23.

Definite third-rate celebrity. Jim's got the idea.

I took a piss next to Larry Holmes at Newark International Airport. I didn't shake his hand.

http://www.reelwest.com/magazine/archives/vol16_2/images/lone_dean_haglund.jpg
Two:

I once chatted with Dean Haglund (COMN) at a pedestrian light in Vancouver while he was taking a break from shooting a Lone Gunmen episode.

More embarrassingly, my friend and I skipped an afternoon of school in grade 12 to travel to Calgary to see Harry Knowles, creator of Ain't It Cool News and pseudo-Hollywood producer, arrive for the Banff TV festival. We ended up chatting for about two hours, milking him for insider information about big upcoming films (Phantom Menace was around the corner at the time). He, in a truly geektacular moment for my friend and I, even briefly wrote about meeting us in a write up on his site.

About a year ago, a very irritated and scruffy looking Ted McGinley walked past me. We were in front of the Brass Rails on Yonge Street. Neither Ted nor I were actually going in, or coming out of, the Rails. That's just where my brush with a third-rate celebrity took place - important information to add to a good "brush with" story.

Ted was muttering to himself and looked as though on the brink of dementia, but he very well may have been acting.

1. When I was in Junior High, and being driven back from a Christmas Eve play we watched in downtown Vancouver, in traffic the driver beside us was Stu Jeffries, host of "Good Rockin' Tonight". Get this: he was picking his nose.

2. Warren Sawkiw washed his hands in the sink beside me at SkyDome.

3. Last weekend, at IKEA, I saw a guy jump on a bad and close his eyes in a moment of mock sleep. That guy was the guy from the Molson Cold Shots beer commercial. You know the one where one guy is eyeing the dude's girlfriend - "she's got hungry eyes and I'm an all-you-can-eat buffet". The dude, the boyfriend, was at IKEA.

4. I saw Jamie Campbell having a coffee on the patio at Starbucks this summer. He was about to read The Globe and Mail.

5. In Vancouver, I went to a Swedish cafe and eating there was one of the Sedin twins - I couldn't tell you which one.

6. I once held the door open for Ann-Marie MacDonald. I don't know if you would call her third rate.

7. I was staying in a hotel one night in Vancouver and was so hammered that I ran across the street to Shennanigan's Pub to buy off-sales. I could swear it was David Suzuki singing karaoke. There's a very good chance it wasn't actually him.

I saw Jack Hanna at the Whitefish, Montana airport. Didn't talk to him, though, and he wasn't with any animals.

Also, I ran into Kel Gleason of Survivor and Global TV "fame" in Ikea. He was looking at towels and instead of me initiating the interaction, he looked up and made like he wanted to say hi to ME. I quickly turned around. Had he been a First or Second-Rate celebrity, I would have certainly allowed him to say hello to me but, of course, I'm an elitist when it comes to celebrity-me interaction.

It's definitely the off-season for us Jays fans....

I also talked to Teller after a Penn & Teller performance at Purdue University back in 1995.

My wife and I were playing putt putt up in Estes Park Colorado, when it started to thunder, there was an old guy ahead of us putting up fuss, griping and carrying on, once the rain came hard, everyone ran inside, it turned out the group that was putting with the old man were.... Mickey Jones (bit part in Caddyshack, better known as the drummer in the tooltime band on Home Improvements), Frank Halliday, (said he was in soap opreas) and ....drum roll.....the old man, was Alby Moore...who played the county commish on Greeeeen Acres.

or story 2

I went to High School with Eric Coyle, Eric eventually played in a couple replacement NFL games, one time in HighSchool, I went in the bathroom, and said, "Hey Eric" and he said, "Hey (my names not ryan)"

How could I forget this one?

I had a beer at Vancouver Hooters with Matthew Good! The friend I was with knew his friend or something - I didn't even recognize MG, everyone just called him "Matt". Only later did I learn he was "the Matthew Good".

I have additional stories involving Don Ferguson of Air Farce, Christine Cushing and Elliotte Friedman but I think two loser stories in one night is my quota.

Does this count??

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1515&item=7106466748&rd=1

I have a question about the rules of this contest:

Does the story have to be true?

If it does, here's mine:

I saw Steve Paikin of TVO (and, formerly, the FAN) walking through Royal Bank Plaza, the underground mall connected to Union Station, once. He was tall.

Oh wait! I have another!

At one point in my life, I had to fly back and forth between Halifax and Toronto every week. Monday out, Friday back. Well, one Friday on the way back, I miraculously had an entire section of three seats all to myself. So I could, you know, stretch out and stuff. Partway through the flight, the stewardess came up to me and asked if I'd mind if someone else sat in the section. Apparently this other passenger was in row 12, which means he had a blank wall right ahead of him instead of a row of seatbacks with a plane-phone in it, and he needed the phone. I said okay.

Turns out the other passenger was Robert Kennedy Jr. He's an environmental lawyer and spent most of the rest of the flight making calls and doing other environmental-lawyer-related stuff. I didn't bug him.

Anyway, that was definitely my day for associating with fame, because earlier that afternoon I filled up at the same gas station as the YTV 'You Rule!' van.

But if we're allowed to make stuff up, then ignore the stories above; I can come up with much better material than that.

A friend and I were walking through the Eaton Centre on Toronto, and passed this short blonde woman. I did a double take, because I knew she was someone 'famous'. It turned out it was Marilyn Denis of CityTV's Cityline.

She looked at us waiting for us to say something, but we walked past. I had placed who she was, but had no idea what her name was at that time.

Two things always struck me about that;

- I think she felt slighted because we didn't talk to her
- man, she's short

I also went drinking with Shayne Corson once, but it was a planned thing, so I didn't think it would count as a 'brush'

My brother's wife's mother used to clean Robin Gibb's house in Miami Beach.

In 97 or 98, my Dad got tickets to a box for a Jays day game in June, took me and my friend out of school and everything to take us down to see it. There were only 4 people in the box all game, my Dad, me, my friend and this big black guy in his 40's. He talks to us all game about the Jays and how he's followed the team for years and how he's close to the team and how he knows everyone. I guess we kind of gave him the benefit of the doubt, but we didn't really believe him. It didn't matter anyways, since he was such an awesome guy that we didn't give a crap whether or not he was lying. Anyways, after the game he asks us if we wanna come down to meet some of the players, he can't guarantee that anyone will be around but there usually are a few guys. We obviously agree and he takes us down to this tunnel by the locker room, we're there maybe 3 minutes when Jose Cruz ROCKETS by followed by Shawn Green, they were horsing around or something. Anyways the guy we're with yells, "Hey Nina, stop messing around and come say Hi to these kids!" Shawn looks over and sees the guy and gets this huuuge smile on his face, he calls Jose over and they both talk and laugh with this dude, shoot the shit, then they both say Hi to all of us and sign our programs and my inflated bat. I don't know if these guys even qualify as Third rate but that is one of my favourite ever baseball moments.

If they're not true, I'll sense it. Then I'll cross-examine you, and you won't want that, because you'll cry. Which reminds me, I once drank whisky with Ben Stone but he was an incoherent mess.

I have additional stories involving Don Ferguson of Air Farce, Christine Cushing

Is it wrong that I have a MAJOR crush on Christine Cushing?

My wife's been in the CityLine audience a couple of times and was struck by the extensive renovations Marilyn Denis has had done to the front of her head.

A good buddy of mine is Shayne Corson's brother-in-law. We worked in the same office, and he gets all the hand-me-down Hugo Boss ties from Corson. I have worn some of Shayne Corson's ties.

http://www.baseballthinkfactory.org/files/member/13/
Since Craig said this is OK...if not I'll move on to my Doug Sahm story!

I was on vacation at the Cadillac Hotel in Detriot (nice touch dad) during the summer of 1969. The Buffalo Bills were staying there, waiting on their first pre-season game and more importantly waiting on O.J. Simpson to sign his contract. O.J. took me under his wing and I became his gofer for his 3-4 day stay there.

On the last day the Bills held a press conference to announce O.J.'s signing...so natch I was there. After his meeting the press, his agent wanted to get a picture of O.J. signing his first autograph as a pro...so, again, natch I was there. As O.J. was signing my slip of paper "O.J. Simpson U.S.C...his agent quickly admonished O.J. that he was no longer a college player, but a member of the Buffalo Bills, a professional and should act that way.

O.J. took the pen and stabbed a hole in the last period after the C...and with a look that could have killed.....he said, "YOU GET THE LAST ONE."

Obviously...I wasn't.

Is it wrong that I have a MAJOR crush on Christine Cushing?

Dan, that's not just wrong, that's really intensely disturbing. Are you some sort of masochist?

To each his own, of course... all a matter of taste. But I find her really, truly repellent, to the point that I cannot watch her doing anything.

I have worn some of Shayne Corson's ties.

I went with some friends to meet with him in Montreal for some business reasons. We met at a restaurant, which the owners closed down so we could stick around and drink (Corson was still with Montreal at the time, and the media would follow him like a hawk).

They must have done this a lot, because this restaurant had huge curtains that they would draw so that no one could see inside. Anyway, we stayed there quite late, drank a lot of alcohol, and had a great time.

I got an autographed, game used Shayne Corson stick :)

Montreal is one fun city.

I once met Craig Calcaterra's wife.

Is it wrong that I have a MAJOR crush on Christine Cushing?

Not really, but it depends what you do with that I suppose. My story involves Emeril Lagasse and my own slight crush on Christine but I've already said too much!

I also had brushes with Suzanne Dimma and Mark Challen, but they are clearly fourth-rate unless you're gay or fabulous.

Dan, that's not just wrong, that's really intensely disturbing.

I had a feeling it wasn't natural. I may need professional help.
Then again, I'm still hoping Rogers will pony up some extra cash to keep Delgado in town. I do need help.

This just happened last friday. I'm at the Skydome waiting at the elevator to go up to the 500 level (I had just walked to Skydome from Avenue Road and was quite tired) it opens up and out walks Doug Gilmour. Ok, kinda interesting but I hate the leafs so no big deal. I get into the elevator and find myself standing beside Paul Godfrey. Well I wanted to say something interesting or good about the Jays but all I said was "We'll do better next year I hope?" and he says "Yeah, I don't think it can get any worse" and that was that. I felt really dumb, and I hope he didn't think I was bashing the Jays.

Also, one day a couple months ago, celebrities were selling "Coke Floats" outside the skydome, there were only a few people left still selling them, and nobody buying, so I went and got one from some lady that I didn't recognize and then I noticed George Stromboulopolis from Muchmusic beside her, and I wanted to say something, because I am a metal fan but I didn't. And then I was mad afterwords.

Also, I had dinner with Ted Debiase "The Million Dollar Man" a couple years ago, but that wasn't really a brush.

I have a couple of first and second rate celeb encounters...

- Jessica Alba walked right by me at a nightclub. I'll admit I geeked out for about 5 secs but my friend didn't even know who she was.

- I was inches away from Shaq. The guy looks way bigger in person.

- I had the pleasue of meeting Steve Nash. Great guy and he took the time to sign everysingle autograph.

- I met Trevor Linden when he was a rookie.

- I was down in Cali this summer for my vacation and I saw Jamie Lee Curtis. She and I were at the Prada store in Beverly Hills. I walked right by her. I had my camera with me but she was shopping so I didn't want to bother her. Looks exactly the way she does on tv/movies.

As for the 3rd rate celeb encounters...............

- I had a chat with Cherokke Parks who played for the LA Clippers last season. I met him while he was still playing with the T-Wolves and I asked him about his team ..... and he responsed with total surfer talk. He kept on telling me how awesome it was to play with Kevin Garnett. And he kept on rambling and it made me feel uncomfortable. He was acting like he was on drugs.

- My best 3rd rate celeb encounter by far was meeting Dustin Diamond. For all those that don't know who Dustin Diamond is he was Screetch aka Samuel Powers on Saved By the Bell. He also appeared on Fox's Celebrity boxing (now you really know he's 3rd rate).

I saw him this summer down in LA while I was going shopping. I was inside Champs and I noticed him right away. He was with a friend. Being a big Saved By the Bell fan when I was younger I couldn't resist the chance to meet this stud. I went right up to him and called him SCREETCH!!! His friend and him started busting out laughing. I told him he was the king of Fox's celebrity boxing and loved his character on Saved By the Bell. We chit chatted for a bit and then he asked me IF I WANTED HIS AUTOGRAPH ... and I said NO. We both laughed at it (although for him it was an umcomfortable laugh)and headed our seperate ways. When you look up 3rd rate celeb in the dictionary you will see a picture of Screetch.

I meant Screech not Screetch.

Screech, nice. I had some daytimes to myself earlier this month and was happy to see "Saved by the Bell" re-runs on TBS. That's quite a talent pulling that character off. He's got a great cameo in that movie "MADE", Puff Daddy's really good in that movie too.

I once played baseball with BOTH Spencer Fordin AND Shi Davidi!

And Emilio Estevez tried to pick up my wife once.

Still, I vote for the dude who met Screech.

The roster guys know this story already, or part of it, but when I was supervising first-year composition instructors at Bowling Green, I had to call the basketball coach to talk to him about his star frosh point guard who was missing way too many classes to pass (acccording to his instructor) -- he didn't pass much at point guard, either, frankly -- so the coach assigned one of his unpaid grad assistants to escort him to class.

He did; the guy passed -- he's legitimately a smart, bright guy, but freshmen new to college can be, ah, unfocused -- stayed eligible,led the team to post-season play, and three years later was the MAC Player of the Year and the #4 overall draft pick by your NBA Vancouver Grizzlies, so I like to think I played a small role in his being able to sign that bajillion dollar contract.

Many years earlier, after Bowling Green won the 1984 NCAA Hockey title in an epic four-overtime game over Minnesota-Duluth, my dad drove us up to the Toledo airport to meet the team and I shook hands with, among others, future Miracle on Ice Olympians Kenny Morrow and Mark Wells.

My lovely better half once threw a banner onstage at a Duran Duran concert wishing John Taylor a happy birthday, with her and her friends' names and phone numbers, and he called them at home after the concert to invite them out. Alas for them (and for John) they were in seventh grade.

Sarah McLachlan can't be a third-rate celebrity, I'm sorry. While she might be in my personal first-rate category, I refuse to believe she's not at least in the second-tier (in Canada, at the very least).

Of course, she lived for a while near my parents, so I've seen her multiple times (walking the dog, shopping for groceries, etc.)

I saw Christina Ricci outside a nightclub in Burnaby one time. Her bodyguard had just acted like a truly evil ogre by punching someone out.

Okay so here's my "third-rate celebrity meeting story:"

My best friend and I were in Vancouver with our school orchestra for a music festival and were forced to attend tons of other performances by other bands...in other words-boring. So we decided to go to the jazz hall; we were standing in the only aisle of a pretty small concert room looking for a seat when a feminine voice, in an obviously irritated tone, told us to "Decide all ready, and get out of my way!" Well, we turned and jazz singer Diana Krall scowled at us and hurried on by, her two body-guards eyeing us.

Hmmmm, do body-guards indicate second rate?

We were quite amused by this and decided that she was attracted to us because, as we all know, girls are mean to the ones they like :). In keeping with her attitude we both stood up in the middle of her performance and asked her to marry us in a rather loud and disruptive voice, causing her to stop the song and send her goons after us. We escaped thankfully.

And yes, I now realize that yelling at the singer at a jazz concert is probably in poor taste, but that was grade 10 so...

I met Screech at Yuk Yuk's in Windsor 2 years ago where he was doing stand-up. The audience heckled him to death with Saved by the Bell references the whole show. Perhaps a sign of how far he has fallen, he was charging $15 for an autographed photo that was printed black & white on an inkjet printer, and the picture only covered 1/4 of a blank piece of paper.

I was at Duke University 3 years ago during spring break, and unbeknownst to us they were filming Dawson's Creek on campus. I got to chat with Katie Holmes briefly, and even got her to say hi to my girlfriend at the time on video.

He might as well be D-List with a lot of the movies he made lately, but I saw Sylvester Stallone, Burt Reynolds, and the rest of the horrible movie Driven when I worked at City Hall in Mississauga, where they filmed a few scenes in the movie.

I saw Fefe Dobson at the Left Bank on Queen St. W. about a month ago, just out with friends.

Saw Rod Black outside of Comerica park after a Jays/Tigers game, and shouted to him that covering figure skating was taking away from his credibility.

Met Michael Landsberg at a WWE show in Hamilton about 6 years ago. Yelled something stupid that got a smile out of him from the private box he was sitting in. That's all I can remember for now.

I was introduced to Brian Fogarty once, and met all sorts of Kingston Frontenacs, as my father used to be the team doctor for about 5 games a year. Last time I was in new york, my GF and buddy and myself walked past the green goblin himself.

My brush with a higher rate celebrity was at Yankee Stadium. I was invited to sit in the third row at a Yankees/Angels game in 2002. The row in front of me was empty, but the row in front of that contained Spike Lee and a some buddy of his.

I rode Mr. Lee pretty well all night attempting to work his movie titles into my blabbering. Lee's buddy caught a foul ball of Soriano's bat and I was able to get a solid laugh from the rest of the section by urging the guy to give the ball to a kid and 'Do the Right Thing'.

Spike never even turned his head....

That poor kid deserved the ball. He got bamboozled.

I've got a great one for you all.

A few years ago when I was in University; a film studio got permission to shoot a picture on campus. (The University was Trent in Peterborough, ON)

The movie was Urban Legends 2... and they were shooting a scene right below my bedroom window. I would have never expected to see Joey Lawrence (of Blossom infamy) under my bedroom window, trying his best to look serious, or scared or something....

Never had I been so tempted to open my window and yell "WOAH"....

Alas I did not, but I did stand behind him in line for food that week. He's really short...... I'm talking the anti Peter North of short....

There's my story of 3rd rate celebrity-running-into.....

Joey-Freakin-Lawrence.

Happy thanksgiving everyone.

Ken Kosowan

Mike Wilner:

I once played baseball with BOTH Spencer Fordin AND Shi Davidi!

This isn't another question about Jewish batters getting homeruns off of Jewish pitchers, is it? ;)

For me it would be 4th or 5th rate I suspect. Working at McDonalds in high school we had a Blue Jays car go through the drive through and (this was 1987 when the Jays were very popular) everyone in the store went a bit silly. Once the guy got to the window I figured out it was Rob Ducey, just called up to the majors a few days earlier. We had him sign about 40 autographs while his food was made, all signed 'Rob Ducey #40' iirc. All the autographs were on napkins. He looked really pissed by the time he left as it was about 15 minutes for the food as we wanted as many autographs as we could get 8)

Similar with David Wells. Leaving the stadium from a game that same year me and my dad were driving next to a Jays car and it took me about 10 minutes to figure out it was the rookie who was just called up (gotta love Toronto traffic - had 10 minutes to figure it out).

For not me the best is a friend of my Dad though. His was a 1st rate thing, almost. He was golfing in Florida in the early 90's and the club asked if he'd like to join a threesome as the 4th (very exclusive, expensive club). When told who was in the threesome he basically decided he'd never heard of them and had no interest in playing with strangers. One of those 3 was Michael Jordan. My Dad laughed at him for a long time afterwards as the guy literally had no clue who Jordan was.

Earlier this summer I went to Sportschek at the Dixie value mall in Mississauga, and Mike Bullard was there, shopping for shoes. This was right after he got fired, and I was tempted to say something about how he needs to be at the value mall, but thought that'd be over the line. He was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and hadn't shaved, and was haggling over the price of the shoes.

When I was little (maybe 91, so I would have been 12), we were at a mall in Toronto, and Duane Ward was there. Unfortunately, I missed getting his autograph because we were late, and I was very depressed.

Then, as we got into the elevator, who was there but Duane Ward! He signed a pencil case for us and my mom took a photo of us. Unfortunately the photo cut off the top half of his head and you can't tell who it is.

I was at a Jays game in April of 2002 against the Yankees. I believe the final score was 17-1 Yankees. Warren Sawkiw and someone else (it may have been Jamie Campbell, I'm not sure) came down and sat behind home plate with us in about the 7th innning. They were talking to a very very drunk man who was being loud and obnoxious. There was a father there, and he complained about the drunk man scraing his kids, and he got kicked out. Sawkiw looked kind of embarrased that his friend (well, maybe it was his friend) got kicked out.

Got to add this one for a friend of mine who is out of town but would definitely want to share the story:

We went to Florida for a week in the early 90's and went to Universal Studios theme park for the day. They were recording an episode of 'America's Top 40' starring none other than the god of third-rate celebrities, Shadoe Stevens. During a break we start talking to Shadoe, and my buddy Alex says "Hey Shadoe, I really love your work. Especially that scene in the Kentucky Fried Movie." Shadoe kind of grimaces and says "Yeesh...not many people have seen that one".

I could be wrong about his status though - once you make center square of Hollywood Squares, you might be second rate.

Me Grimlock once passed Paul Godfrey on King St. Me Grimlock said, "HEY, it's Paul Godfrey!" He turned around and me Grimlock said, "Yo, me Grimlock am going to the game tonight." and he said "I'll see you there."

Me Grimlock once ran into Juan Guzman at St. Michael's Cathedral. Me Grimlock walked right into him, and then stood there dumbstruck as me Grimlock realized it was Juan Guzman (this was before he became maddeningly inconsistent).

Another time at the Dome, me Grimlock spent a couple of innings at the game talking about what the Leafs have to do to his pal Wheeljack. We turn around, and who do we see? Leafs President and now MP Ken Dryden. They should have taken our advice. ;)

Me Grimlock once saw PJ Fresh Phil at a club. Man, that guy's short.

Me Grimlock once saw Buck Martinez naked. It was in the locker room of the Royal Woodbine Golf Club. He had a muscular ass. How could me Grimlock not look... it was Buck Martinez!

First off - I voluntarily disqualify myself for anyone I brushed by at SkyDome while in the course of my STATS duties. From Hazel Mae to Brooks Robinson, who are both very likeable I must say...

I took a piss next to Larry Holmes

Ditto for me with Bob Dylan (at the Isabella, mid 80s, Jack DeKeyzer was playing. But I submit that Larry Holmes was the Champion of the World, and Bob Dylan is Bob Dylan ... at least second-rate, right?

Isn't one always running into CITY-TV people? I can remember bumping into Laura DiBattista at Loblaws, and Anne Mroczkowski at a park by Huron School...

Sergei Berezin of the Toronto Maple Leafs, at the Rabba on Charles St at about 1:00 AM one night...

When I was a very young hockey player, I won my team's MVP award, and they had a dinner to hand out all the trophy winners. I shook Gordie Howe's hand... very big deal for me.

As a youth I was allowed the opportunity a few times to 'Shoot to Win' between periods. I also got to meet Gordie Howe in one of those opportunites.

Got to meet Chris Chelios while in a Montreal bathroom on Spring Break.

When I was flying to Detroit en route to San Fran last year, there was a courtesy call for Mark Fidrych.
I didnt actually see him or anything, but I assume it was one and the same.

Oh, and I met Carrie Ann Moss (AKA Trinity) a bunch of times when my friends dad was head set decorator for a crappy locally made TV show called F/X and she had a supporting role.

Yeah, the press box is too easy, and a quite a few guys up there are actually fourth-rate. The time a few of us were havind a spirited debate about Grady Little's managerial genius (or lack thereof) when he walked into the room was kind of surreal. Someone said, "Shh -- there he is," which we thought was quite funny, until he said, "no, really!"

George Steinbrenner stories, though they constitute shooting fish in a barrel, are also eligible.

You're just daring me, aren't you, Craig?

There are a few others I could share, but in the Pompano Park dining room one night, the Boss "signed" my then-5-year-old son to a Yankee "contract" on a scrap of paper, telling Matt "you can never have enough left-handed pitching." No salary changed hands; the bonus was four tickets in George's box for a spring training game vs. the Red Sox.

A ruling on the next item, please. In Winnipeg, first year of the WHA, there used to be no seats at one end of the arena, just the world's largest picture of the Queen on the wall and a stage behind the goal, where musicians like the hilarious and talented McLean and Mclean used to entertain between periods. I was about 19 and used to buy the cheapest seat, then sneak down to sit on the stage. One night, M & M had a special guest -- I spent the whole second period chatting with Burton Cummings, never even acknowledging I was a Guess Who fan, just talking hockey. He might be on the Casino tour now, which has to be third-rate status, but at the time he was pretty cool, so I don't know if he qualifies.

I do suspect that Mrs. Coach is having an affair with Ken "Newsroom" Finkelman. She teaches at Community Midwives, he works out at the J.C.C. across the street. We go to Harbord Bakery, there he is, and they think I don't notice the simmering passion beneath the polite greetings. At two of our favourite restaurants (the Boulevard and Universal Grill) we always seem to get adjoining tables. She often tells me she's working late, and while it's never occurred to me to follow her because I'm always watching baseball, perhaps I'm just afraid to learn the truth.

I once walked by former-CBC broadcaster (and current Red Wings TV play-by-play man) Ken Daniels at Pearson's Terminal 2.

Jim Millington, the actor who played the anchorman on E.N.G., used to be an acquaintance of my father. I had the opportunity to meet him a couple of times before he got heavily into acting, when he was still a veterinarian.

This would probably be classified as a fifth- or sixth-rate celebrity, but I went to school with the guy who played "Emma" on Global's Ready or Not. I was a year ahead and only had one class with him, which was during my final year of high school and several years after his involvement with the show ended. He was understandably a bit defensive about his role and would threaten to kill anyone who called him Emma. I guess even sixth-rate child stars have it rough.

Earlier this year I thought I saw conservative lunatic Ann Coulter at Logan Airport in Boston. From a distance it looked just like her. I got a closer look at her later and it turned out to be some non-celebrity. This woman was actually attractive, unlike the real Ann Coulter who looks like Mark Hendrickson wearing a blonde wig.

the real Ann Coulter who looks like Mark Hendrickson wearing a blonde wig.

Tee-hee. But Lurch is both better looking and far more intelligent.

Gotta admit - Gordie Howe, in Canada, is not third-rate.

Speaking of hockey players...

My ex works at a popular watering hole, frequented my many NHL guys - the Leafs once had their End-Of-Season-Piss-Up there. So she's brushed against them all, from Wayne Gretzky and Eric Lindros to Bill Berg and Tie Domi.

That's a great Steinbrenner story, Coach, and I too have a Burton Cummings story to share...

In my teenage years, I worked in what used to be "record stores," both here and in Winnipeg. Remember records? Sometimes artists would come in to sign albums - sometimes we would get tickets - sometimes we would get backstage. Alas, I do not have a Wayne Campbell "we're not worthy" encounter with Alice Cooper to pass along...

But I did spend a night drinking with the late great Rory Gallagher and his band at a Holiday Inn in Winnipeg. He was a sweet, wonderful man...

Lemmy and Motorhead, at A & A Records on Yonge St (remember that, anyone) when I was working there in the early 1980s. They sat at a table, fortified themselves with beer, and signed autographs for everyone. He was really cool...

Cheap Trick, also at a record-store promotion. The two pretty guys were stuck up snobs who wouldn't talk to anyone. We truly weren't worthy. But Rick Nielsen, the guitar player, was really friendly...

In Winnipeg, Burton Cummings used to come by the store all the time. This would be late 1970s. Our boss had come across an antique pinball machine - it was a real novelty item at the time, I guess nobody in Winnipeg played pinball - so he stuck it in the store, and then was amazed at the fact that all day long people were willing to put quarters in it. He loved it, he'd empty it out every day, cackling over all the quarters that he would duump in his pocket. Free money, no paper trail. Anyway, Burton came in one day, we chatted about music (Burton was famous in music circles for his Extensive Collection of Records - he had listened to absolutely everything and everyone and had something intelligent to say about all of it). He then tried out the pinball machine. And loved it. And then he goes "Damn, I'm out of quarters." And my co-worker goes "Oh no problem, here you go, let me open it up and give you some free ones, creep crawl creep kiss." Burton says "Hey thanks."

And then he comes in every day for the next week to play free pinball for hours. Drove my boss nuts, because he wasn't getting his free quarters, but hey... it was Burton Cummings...

On Monday Report with Ron Mercer (short, short man) I should be getting my face in the background once or twice this week - he was doing a profile of St. FX and focused on the house I live in (MacIsaac Hall) ... I almost hipchecked his camera man into oblivion while they were filming an interview. BTW, it seems his goal is to discredit the university, the rivalry between my house and Burke Hall inparticular. Good Times ;-)

When I was at the Cape Breton Regional Hospital, Betty MacDonald and here husband Maynard Morrison (both popular East Coast comics - if you've ever seen the Ha!lifax Comedy Fest on CBC you've probabaly seen one of them).

...walked by...twice (that belonged after the last bracket of my previous message)

There's a dock across from my house where the local whale watch / boat tours dock their boats. I once saw Paul Gross (from Due South :-)!) get off of the 'Tom Saylor' sailboat - I have managed to confirm that it was him. He's about as third rate as it gets I think...

Liam has reminded me of another one...

When he was little, I used to take him trick-or-treating on Halloween. We had a couple of streets we particularly favoured - lots of residences, close together, the people were home and generous with their candy. You learn these things over the years.

The drill was Liam and his little friend would go up to the door, and I'd wait on the sidewalk. So I'm watching, the door opens, and there's Margaret Atwood handing out the candy. (Don't know what she was doing there, because I'm pretty sure she wasn't living there. But whatever...)

Needless to say, I was way more impressed than Liam at the time, although its come to mean more to him over the years...

Bit of a hijack - Jacques Derrida, the founder of deconstruction, just died at 74 (I spent many hours when I was in university puzzling over his...uh... cryptic writings.)

But here's the strange thing from the wire service report.

Jacques Derrida, one of France's best-known philosophers and the founder of the deconstructionist school, has died of cancer at the age of 74, his entourage said.

His entourage? Philosophers have entourages now? I thought it was just rap stars...

Never met Derrida, but I did study Shakespeare with Northrop Frye...

I was leaving off all my ESPN stories, but the best one there was when Eric Heiden (the speed-skater) yelled at me about his lunch.

When I was very young, we used to live next door to Peggy Fleming's brother. My father once got into an argument with her over a parking space.

I met Conan O'Brian when he tried street luge in Providence at the X-Games.

One for my father is a high school fist fight with now Connecticut Senator Chris Dodd (probably not third rate nor a celebrity).

I used to play pickup basketball with Mike Tirico of ESPN, that was in high school, before ever working there.

Played baseball through high school with Carl Pavano. I used to umpire little league games for a couple of current minor leaguers Chris Denorfia had a good year at Chattanooga. Of course none of them were celebrities then.

I once helped to kill a keg with former Blue Jay first round pick Scott Burrell when he was at UConn. He seemed like a pretty good guy despite the way he was worshipped at the time.

My coworkers tell me that Rob Dibble gives out full size candy bars on Halloween, if you ever end up in Southington Connecticut and want a brush with an absolute moron.

OK, gotta stop. I'm getting embarrassed, I feel like a name-dropper or something.

I can't help it, gang, I'm an older guy. You wander around the world long enough, you bump into things. It just happens...

Oh yeah, me Grimlock almost forgot. At Canada-Finland at the World Cup Final last month, me Grimlock was in line at an ACC Tim Horton's and Rick Vaive walked by. He had a humongous ring on, dunno from what.

And at Game 4 of the 2001 Eastern Semi-Finals between the Raptors and Sixers, me Grimlock said "Yo." to Michael Landsberg as we entered the building. He's a sleazy looking guy.

3 more quick ones based on some of the other posts

1)PJ Fresh Phil at a guitar store in Port Credit.
2)City TV anchor/reporter Francis D'Souza went to my high school (Clarkson S.S.) and was student body president during my first year there.
3)former Tigers announcer Ernie Harwell took the same train as me from Windsor to Toronto in one of his last two seasons to cover a series between the Jays and Tigers. I didn't want to bother him, but I did say hi in passing as I ended up on the same car as him.

These are great guys. Keep 'em coming.

Jacques Derrida, one of France's best-known philosophers and the founder of the deconstructionist school, has died of cancer at the age of 74, his entourage said.

Well, I'm overjoyed that Derrida has scooped the one award he so richly deserves, but I must admit I'm as puzzled by the "entourage" as anyone. It's actually to be expected... philosophers really do attract groupies, some of the most extraordinarily pathetic people you are ever likely to meet (I took a class in grad school from a philosophical groupie who used to recite endless pointless stories bout hanging out with The Great Man) but it's odd to see them honestly described as such.

"I'm Bram" may be in the lead here. Jim's line about Rob Dibble is the funniest one so far.

there's Margaret Atwood handing out the candy

Now that's more frightening than any costume!

Oh yeah, one more. When I was very little (maybe 5 or 6) I went to see Mr. Dressup in Kitchener.
At the intermission, I went to the bathroom, and while I was standing at the urinal, who stands at the one next to me? Mr. Dressup!
That may have been the highlight of my life.

I remember watching his show the next day and being upset that he didn't mention that he met me in the bathroom.

At the intermission, I went to the bathroom, and while I was standing at the urinal, who stands at the one next to me? Mr. Dressup!

Did you see his tickle trunk?

-Stood behind Ray Bourque and his family at Universal Studios this past March.

-Walked along Bloor St. next to Jessica Alba a couple of years back during the TIFF. Man, she's a slow walker. She was yapping on her cell phone about how humid Toronto was.

-Said "hi" to Andy Richter on 42nd St. in New York. It was about 2am and he was standing on a street corner.

-When I was about 3 I had a severe case of the croup. My dad took me down to the Lake for some fresh air at about 4am. Other than the two of us, the only person there was Dave Steib. I was far too young to know but I'll take my dad's word for it.

Don't know if this counts but I've actually been mistaken for a third-rate celeb. Apparently I'm a dead ringer for Kerr Smith (Jack, the gay guy on Dawson's Creek). Once somebody asked if I was him. I was wearing a U of T sweatshirt and carrying a backpack. I nodded and kept walking. Hopefully I've given him a bad rep.

I know the "nanny" of Paul Molitors daughter, met the daughter too...

Ok, I met Paul too.. but he's not third rater

After my first year of house league hockey (approx 1971), we were supposed to have Dave Keon signing autographs at our banquet... he backed out and they had some 3rd Rate Leaf's Rookie...

a lot of the guys threw out the autograph, I kept mine.... the rookie's name?..... Darryl Sittler

My Dad went to school with Jim Ralph!

I worked in a Mississauga movie theatre for a few years, and saw a bunch of local "celebs". Leafs like Andreychuk, Potvin, and Bill Berg (the only guy I ever asked for an autograph), Jays like Wells, and Ward. Daniel Nestor, whose friend identified him to the clearly unimpressed usher taking tickets.

One slow Thursday night, a few guys came in with tickets to see Alien 3. I immediately recognized Pat Tabler (he still had the afro back then), but wasn't quite sure who the other guys were, though a couple did look familiar. One of the girls from work was hanging around on her off night when the movie came out, so we got her to ask them for autographs. Turns out Tabler was there with Greg Myers, Ken "$7 million man" Dayley, and future MVP Jeff Kent...

My favourite Z-list celebrities, though, were Hal and Joanne from "Body Break". Apparently they are a "real life" couple, as they came in together fairly regularly. They looked exactly like they do on TV. I couldn't help but notice that they always got butter on their popcorn... not very healthy! :)

One night, a fairly familiar face walked in, though I wasn't really sure. "Michael Landsberg?", I asked. The smile quickly disappeared as the "celeb" said "No, Gino.". That was a bit embarassing. Shortly afterwards, my manager came by and with fake enthusiasm said "Wow, can you believe Gino Reda is here!?". He was more amused when I mentioned I'd mistaken him for (the pre-OTR) Landsberg.

I used to see Flutie, Pinball, and a bunch of other Argos I would never have recognized at the gym at Erindale (sorry, "UTM").

The coolest celebrity I was ever in the presence of, though, (even cooler than seeing Eddie Murray at a Chinese restaurant) was Buck O'Neill. I was at the register at the Gift Shop at the Negro League Museum in KC when he stopped by to say Hi to the cashier, and ask her if she'd seen someone. I recognized him immediately, but just froze. I wish I'd had the nerve to say something. I did talk to the cashier a bit about him afterwards, and she clearly thought he is an amazing individual...

Shook Chris Woodward's hand on the way into the Dome on "Fan Appreciation Day" about 4 years ago... Paul Quantrill too, but he wouldn't count

Saw a VERY drunk Tino Monte at a wedding once.

Was in Winnipeg a couple years ago, somehow wound up with a box seat to that night's Goldeyes game. Rain delay delays start of game, management sends players up to boxes (very nice)...we get Pete Rose Jr.!

Another time, I sat exactly one row directly behind Knowlton Nash on a flight to Vancouver. If he's not C-list, I don't know who is.

OK. Here's one. I can't believe I didn't think of it until I read the "I'm Bram" story.

At NYU Law School, we had intramural softball on spring Fridays at East River Park in Manhattan. Our permit was for 1:00, and we showed up maybe five minutes early. A team was practicing ahead of us.

My friend Donald, who coordinated softball with me, went down to gently inform the team that we had the field at 1. The apparent team captain, a guy with graying hair and big sunglasses, cheerfully waved his team into the dugout.

Around this time, I was helping gather the departing team's softballs, and I noticed that the words "ANNIE GET YOUR GUN" were written on each and every ball. It turned out that this was the Annie Get Your Gun team from the Broadway League!

So Donald approaches the man with the sunglasses and asks, "Excuse me, but are you Tom Wopat of Dukes of Hazzard fame?" Still cheerful, he says, "I sure am!"

It so happened that I was directing a production at NYU at around the same time. I explained this, and then asked Tom, "Do you have any words of wisdeom that I could pass along to my own cast?"

He grinned, and said, "Just entertain 'em."

I passed along this story to my cast prior to opening night, culminating with the line "If no less an authority than Tom Wopat says 'Just entertain 'em'...then by God, let's go entertain 'em." I got a standing ovation from the cast.

Whaddya say, Craig? Does Luke Duke count?

The "biggest" celebrity I ever met (in the literal sense) was Nate Thurmond -- all 7'1" of him. Shook his hand and it enveloped my arm halfway to the elbow.

I must admit, I am disappointed so far, readimg this blog-full-p-Caadians and nobody has yet told a story about meeting one of my personal heroes, Dr. Marshall McLuhan (now let's get McLuhan and Derrida in a room -- when they were alive, natch -- and see who talks who under the table.)

In August of 1976, I was travelling from Toronto to Halifax when I became stranded in the Toronto airport due to what I remember was a rotating strike by AirTraffic Controllers. I was 20 years old...going home on vacation, with no extra money for a hotel room. I was destined to sleep on the floor of the airport with about 300 other people. Since it was late afternoon, I decided to sit on a barstool and sip a couple of overpriced beer to kill some time. The guy sitting next to me struck up a conversation and we spent the next hour talking like we were old friends. I got up to leave, explaining I was on a tight budget. He said "Hell, boy,..You sit right back down there...I'm buyin'..." He was a big drinker...I wasn't..but he bought me one every time he got one for himself.I did my best to keep up. During the next few hours, a number of people came by to ask "Freddy" for his autograph. He was wearing a sort of cowboy suit with some embroidery on it and was wearing cowboy boots. My whiskey soaked mind began to suspect that "Freddy" was a celebrity but for the life of me, I had no idea who he was. Finally, I sheepishly asked him what his last name was. He chuckled and said " I'm Freddy Fender". From the look on my face, I guess he could see that I still had no idea who he was. "The singer" he said....as sang a few words of "Wasted Days and Wasted Nights". I recognized the song and slurred an apology for not knowing who he was. He said " That's OK" , and proceeded to buy round after round until I slid off the barstool and grabbed a piece of floor for the rest of the night.
Now, in my eyes, Freddy Fender is a first-rate person... but in the eyes of the general public, he was at the time no better than a third- rate celebrity.

http://www.battersbox.ca/archives/00002063.shtml#206326
Does recency count for extra points? Cuse this just happend to me today at work.

So I'm at work, and I notice there's a small crowd around the pro shop, so rather than work, I do what I normally do and wander over to investigate things. So Kieth Primeau is there and he's signing stuff. But I didn't have anything for him to sign so I said "Hey, Keith Primeau. Can you sign my name tag?" and he said "sure" and he signed my name tag. Then I was putting it back on and a co-worker walked up and said "so, how was the Salt Lake experience?" and Keith answered after a long sigh "I....I didn't go". "Oh" replied the co-worker. Then followed 20 very awkward seconds. What a day.

Random others

-I went to a preview screening for Adaptaion and got to mill about with Charlie Kaufman, Nick Cage and Spike Jonez. Spike Jonez said Nick Cage has alot of "tics".

-I was at the big HMV downtown and Mike Bullard was just walking around looking at cds. I said "hi" and he asked me what I was getting, I showed him my Black Sabbath cd and he said "you don't want that. You want this!" and handed me a copy of his comedy cd which he held a stack of. He then paid for my copy and three more for the friend were with me. I always thought there was something fishy about the success of that cd.

-When I went to Montreal last month, we were walking down Sherbrooke,and there was a tour bus parked on the road. Then Dave Baksh of Sum 41 walked out. I was the only one of my group who recognized him and made eye contact with him. He prepared for me to say something but I don't really like Sum 41 and walked by. I assume he was crestfallen.

-When I was 12 I went to Star Trek convention (pauses for laughter) and Brent Spinner (aka Data) was the speaker. After we were told by an MC that if he sees any cameras or flashes he'd walk off the stage he came out to answer questions. I asked him what the funniest blooper on the show was. He said one take they were on the bridge and "Johnathan Frakes was supposed to do his John Wayne walk down the side ramp, but the dude tripped on his own feet and stumbled through the sidewall leaving a perfect cutout of him which took 2 day to repair."

-Last year I went to the CKY show at the Opera House (freakin awesome). After the show the band hung out on stage. I went up to a very drunk Jess Margera and asked him to sign my ticket. He replied "Hey....where can you take a piss in this city?" I replied "uhhh.... pretty much anywhere I guess" and he replied "ohhhhh... I LOVE Toronto!"

- I've talked to Mike Wilner on Battersbox. How much more 3rd rate can you get?

- I've been on Conan O'Brien, and I've talked to myself. Do I count? COMN

My buddy Art now lives in San Diego. His wedding was this summer, and a couple of weeks before it he was coming to Toronto to take care of some business and, more importantly, have his bachelor party, which I was hosting as best man.

Well, his plane was forced to land in Colorado due to bad weather and it had to stay there overnight. As a result, he missed his bachelor party, but even worse, he spent seven or eight hours on an airplane on the tarmac in Colorado sitting next to William Hung.

He arrived the next day, and we managed to re-convene his bachelor party at the SkyDome during a Jays game, as those of you who showed up for Cheer Club that day will remember -- all that food would be hard to forget.

OK, here's a story that involves me:

Last fall this guy came into my store and asked to pick up some film for his daughter, whose last name was Green. When he left I turned to the other customers in the store and said "Holy crap, that was Commander Rick!"

They all stared blankly at me.

Okay, first the opening act, then the main event.

My Paul Molitor brush (literally, in the middle of Front Street) having been disqualified, I'm pretty sure getting waved at by the Pope as his Mobile drove past my house won't count. But I do have a few others.

My wife and I were in Toronto and stopped into a small but ridiculously upscale groceteria on College Street. Roaming the aisles next to us was Ralph Benmergui, accompanied by an attractive brunette. Then, exactly one week later, we're back in Ottawa, walking down Elgin Street, and who walks past us? Mr. Benmergui again -- this time, with an even more attractive blonde. We later read in Frank that he was having, er, relationship issues.

I spent a summer in Newfoundland doing archival work for Codco, meaning several brushes with Andy Jones and a party at Greg Malone's place. I arrived late, by which time most of the guests had left (physically and/or narcotically).

Coming back from Dunedin this past spring, we were on the same flight as Rob Faulds. He was in business class -- we were not -- but being virtually the only people under 70 on the flight, he wasn't hard to identify. I did not ask him what he thought about that.

Now, the main event: Mrs. Gideon, a veritable third-rate-celebrity magnet, has a few to share:

First-time poster, long-time Batter's Box widow. Here are my brushes with 3rd-rate celebrity:

1. When I was 10 (it was actually my birthday), I sat in front of Pat and Debbie Boone on an airplane from New York to Toronto (they were playing at the CNE). I got their autographs, while their manager gave me the evil eye for bothering his stars. They got their revenge, though, as our luggage was left in New York to make room for their copious bags and equipment.

2. During my articling year at a Toronto law firm, I walked by Greg Evigan as he waited for an elevator in our office. I think he was shooting a made-in-Canada series at the time -- possibly Tekwars.

3. The Timmins family (of Cowboy Junkies fame) lived down the street from me; the youngest Timmins, Peter (the drummer), went to my high school. Also from high school: Jeff Healey was in my grade 10 Latin class, and Marnie McBean and I were in stage band together.

4. And last but not least: one summer, a Disney Sunday-night movie was filmed at my high school, and a bunch of us hung around to be extras. It was supposed to star Michael J. Fox, but he had just hit it big with Back to the Future, so he was replaced by some unknown Canadian actor named Keanu Reeves. Lindsay Wagner was his co-star. I only saw Lindsay from a distance, but I was in a classroom scene with Keanu (the portrait of the Queen was covered up with a picture of Ronald Reagan) in which I horribly overacted (rolling eyes, shaking head) in the background. The closest I got to Keanu was having him use my locker in one of his scenes. But I did speak with two of his co-stars -- including fourth-rate celeb Jeremy (Blue Murder) Ratchford.

Another one - didn't happen to me, but to my cousin.

My cousin was out golfing at a quasi-famous local golf course...Todd Bertuzzi owns a house that backs onto the course. Due to some catering problems, the club's liquor license had been temporarily suspended...my cousin hits his drive on the 2nd...Todd Bertuzzi drives right through the fairway in his golf cart, pulls up by his back gate, runs into his house, grabs a couple beers, comes back to cart, drives away.

My freshman University roommate knew Tiger Williams well, and we all ate dinner together one night, while Tiger regaled us with stories.

I was in a bar in Winnipeg, and after the Jets game, still Oilers Mark Messier and Paul Coffey arrived. They were right beside me. Unfortunately for the rest of us guys, Messier and Coffey had two women on each arm, and every other lady in the place eyeing them.

I was interviewed by John Harvard, in his pre-Member of Parliament days, on CBC National Journal.

Paul Henderson was promoting the anniversary of the '72 Canada-Soviet series, at the Post Office in Winnipeg. I knew some of the guys at the Post Office fairly well, and I got a short chat with Paul Henderson.

I was to write a short speech for Monty "Let's Make A Deal" Hall, in one of my careers. He said, "Wayne, I've got a pocket full of them, no need to worry", He bought me a drink, and we chatted until it was time for him to give the speech, which he did indeed have prepared.

Now those are all seriously C-List.

Since Craig said this is OK...if not I'll move on to my Doug Sahm story!

Well, I want to hear your Doug Sahm story! He's still one of my favourite musicians. RIP.

So, in trade, I'll pass on a story of meeting another of my favourites.

In 1969 or 70, after seeing a Chuck Berry concert at Convocation Hall at U of T, I hitch-hiked home. Car stopped; there were two guys in the front, so I jumped in the back seat, where I noticed a guitar case. Looked up, and found one of my great musical heroes driving the car -- Chuck himself.

It wasn't much of a drive. He picked me up at Queen's Park & Wellesley, drove north, spun out in the snow at the top of the QP circle, and then dropped me at Bloor Street -- he was staying at the Park Plaza. (About 1/4 mile for those who don't know Toronto).

I met him again a year or 2 later, but it just didn't have the excitement of the hitchhiking incident.

Guys, these are simply awesome. Keep them coming. Tom Wopat (how does Mike D know my Dukes of Hazzard fetish?); Tino Monte; Rick Vaive. These are awesome.

So about 10 days ago I'm in Mountain View, Caliifornia on business. I'm supposed to meet somebody for dinner but he's late, so I walk into a bookstore to kill time. Not too far from the door there's a guy in a suit with an open collar and no tie, with a couple attractive women sort of at his side milling around, and somebody taking a picture like it's a photo op. I guess he must have just finished giving a book tour talk or lecture of some sort. I look at him again and he looks vaguely familiar but I don't recognize him outright. Then -- this being a pretty small bookstore so things are all pretty close -- he looks back at me like he knows that I recognize him and would just love to walk up to him and get an autograph or something. I wander off.

A little while later, I realized it was Bill, the Trump Apprentice show winner. Definitely a third-rate celebrity.

Since Craig said this is OK...if not I'll move on to my Doug Sahm story!

Well, I want to hear your Doug Sahm story! He's still one of my favourite musicians. RIP.

I had met Doug a number of times thru the years...but the first time we talked, we spent a good hour rapping about Louie & The Lovers, Rocky Morales' ability to guzzle cerveza and his beloved Yankees (ugggh) with their great Yankee Stadium...where he felt he could smoke pot freely (!?).

Then there was the time me, Delbert McClinton, the president of the NYC chapter of the Hell's Angels and Sir Doug sang "Wooly Bully" in the bathroom at the old Lone Star Cafe!

3 more come to mind (this is really helping me relive my childhood!)

1. Meeting Felix Potvin in the basement of a hockey equipment store in Port Credit.
2. Former Pittsburgh Penguin and the first Korean (I think he was Korean) to play in the NHL Jim Paek, 90-93 or so, visited the YMCA sports camp I was attending.
3. I don't know how I could have not remembered this, but my dad's best friend is the uncle of former NHLer and now San Jose Shark colour guy Bob Errey. I've met him a few times, nice guy.

Four more:

1. About a month ago, me Grimlock saw John McDermott on the street and me Grimlock said, "O Danny boy!" to which he nodded.

2. Me Grimlock saw Gladiator at the Paramount when it first came out. It being the playoffs, me Grimlock was wearing a Leafs jersey. The usher said to me as we exit, "Did you know you just watched Gladiator with the New Jersey Devils? Look over there!" and going down the big escalator is a bunch of well-dressed guys. Me Grimlock ran to them and there was Scott Stevens, Scott Gomez, Martin Brodeur, among others. It was during the Leafs-Devils series, and me Grimlock said, "The Leafs are gonna destroy you guys!" Scott Stevens gave me Grimlock a weird angry look and me Grimlock feared he was gonna Stone Cold Stunner me Grimlock. But then they all just hailed cabs and took off.

3. Me Grimlock stood right behind former Raptor Mamadou N'Diaye while boarding a plane from Orlando to Toronto last month. He's a tall mofo. His ass is like 4-foot 6!

4. Me Grimlock ALSO met Screech at a wrestling event at UofT last year. His entrance music was the Saved by the Bell theme song. Poor guy, no one wanted autographed pictures of him and no one calls him by his real name -- he is only Screech. Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart and D-Lo Brown (former champion of Europe!) were also there. Those are C-level WRESTLERS and they still garnered more attention than Screech!

I slapped Bret Hart's belly once as a kid...more of a concrete slab then a belly, but still...Abs of steel ;-)

A really close friend of mine also managed to be the lucky kid Bret always gave his happenin pink sunglasses to once.

I flew on an Air Canada flight to St. John's, and two members of Great Big Sea were a few seats ahead (not the lead singer, or the dude with glasses. The other two guys).
I think I can win 'most low-level celebrities at one time'. They filmed an episode of 'The Eleventh Hour' outside my apartment in Hamilton. I don't watch the show, so I can't really tell you which characters I saw. But I'm sure it was a collection of 3rd, 4th, and 99th rate celebrities, plus all their handlers.

Sat near Mr. T once at a Jays game. Met Pinball as well, but he's probably second-list.

Various celebrity encounters that I have had:

- In my first year of University, I was walking down Bloor Street and had to wait because they were filming a "Movie of the Week". When we were allowed to continue on the sidewalk, I came mere inches away from Robert Urich.

- In my second year of University, they were filming a movie near my residence. One of the crew came into my residence asking where the inner courtyard was. I had no clue as to where she was talking about and told her. I then asked what movie they were filming, and she said "Billy the Third, starring Chris Farley, and here he comes right now." Sure enough, Chris Farley started walking towards our residence.

- I once saw former Raptor Carlos Rogers play Virtual Fishing at Playdium in Mississauga.

- I have played video games with the Rainbow Butt Monkeys, now known as Finger Eleven.

- At the last Expos home game this year, I met Elliott Friedman.

Jason

All these Bauxites know Screech -- when can we expect the long-dreamed for interview that resuscitates his career, "Saved By Da Box"?

Also, Mrs. Gideon is now CLEARLY in the lead ... she's married for a ninth-rate celebrity! (Also bonus points for the great "widow" line ... I just get a lot of eye rolling and "oh, are you playing on that baseball bloggy thingy again?"

I was served Thanksgiving communion this morning by Don Cherry. He's a deacon at my grandparent's church who we were visiting for the holiday.

In no particular order . . .

1) I saw "The Hunt for Red October" with Jim Everett in Anaheim. OK, not "with" him, but you get the idea. Nobody approached him after the movie ended, which at the time I attributed to the gentle manners of Orange County residents. Reflecting now I realize it was because Everett was the very definition of "third-rate celebrity."

1a) Also at a movie, "Silence of the Lambs," in Los Angeles, I saw Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold. Somebody called Roseanne a "fat cow," to which the classy Barr said, "Shut up, you pig." In fact, the person who shouted at Roseanne was, ironically, fitness-challenged herself.

2) At USC, I took batting practice with Jeff Cirillo (threw the best BP EVER), Bret Boone, and Damon Buford. I held my own, thankusmuchibus, but let's be real: those guys were good.

3) One of my friends got me on the set of "LA Law," and to this day I have not met a more arrogant human being than Corbin Bernson. Imagine the ego of someone who actually has talent! Any rumours about pampered Hollywood stars are flat-out dead-on true. "LA Law" had a large budget, but the food spread was to die for. Let's just say that Homer Simpson would have been in his drooling glory.

4) I've mentioned this before on Da Box, but one of my teachers at Sonoma State University (a tiny liberal arts college near San Francisco) was the late Mario Savio, a radical from the days when UC Berkeley was the liberal center of the U.S. -- and from the days when "liberal" was not the perjorative it seems to be now.

5) Also mentioned before: at a spring training game in Arizona I sat next to Roger Angell. (An aside, and also documented elsewhere on Da Box: during the same trip, or perhaps on another, I ran into David McCarty at Safeway.)

6) Having attended (and dropped out of) USC, I had the fine privilege of seeing many of the "student" athletes (in addition to Cirillo, Boone, and Buford), and none were more repellant than Todd Marinovich, a skinny, pot-addled punk quarterback with an ego a notch below Bernson's. On the other side was Rodney Peete, an affable and genuinely quality human being, who always said "hi" to his fellow Trojans. I was no exception my freshman year, when I chanced upon Peete while walking from class one day. (Cirillo was a good guy, too, but I have less fond things to say about Boone and Buford, as if they they -- or you -- care.)

7) My wife (then girlfriend) and I went to the same church (the egalitarian Bel Air Presbyterian Church) as Ronald Reagan. He once sat two rows in front of me, and after church he would usually shake the parishioner's hands; for some time after I regretted not doing it myself. Time heals all wounds, so goes the cliche . . .

8) I've never personally met him, but Steven Spielberg has bought me lunch several times; lodged me in Palm Springs, Coronado Beach, and Las Vegas, among other locales; provided any number of tickets to sporting events and film premieres, including everyone's favorite, "Antz." As for the latter event, Jennifer Lopez did not show for the premiere, but Sharon Stone did. It's hard to believe, but she's more stunning in person. But the best part was not seeing her -- and certainly not seeing the movie -- or even the mountains of free candy, popcorn, and soda. It was walking on the red carpet, seeing the paparazzi raising their cameras, then just as quickly lowering them with an audible "Nobody" coming from their mouths.

I've got more, but that'll do.

My brush was definitely with greatness since I played ball for a couple years against Mike Wilner. Good catcher, but couldn't hit a curveball to save his life . Oh well, the broadcasting thing seems to be a nice second career for him.

Gitz, what are the odds that Mario Savio would be in this weekend's news?

Oh the pleasures you get from being a PA in the world of film and television...

1. Two summers ago I worked as a "stand in" on Canadian Idol... basically, during the morning rehersals I would act like a contestant on the show and Ben Mulrooney and the real judges would give their insight into my performance... then at the end of the show, the "winning" stand in would sing... most stand ins would sing things like "The Wheels On The Bus," but when I won once I sang my own rendition of a folk version of Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby." Sass Jordon told me that I should have auditioned for show. Then she gave me her phone number... okay that last part never happened. Another Canadian Idol related note... I worked as PA at the past Liberal Convention Dinner and was responsible for talent wrangling Ryan Malcolm... Whenever he was in public he would stop to sign autographs for anyone and everyone and I would have to grab him and tell him that we didn't have time for it... Who would ever want Ryan Malcolm's autograph?

2. I worked on the NHL Awards in 2002 and as any twenty year old would do, got intoxicated at the open bar after party and a when a friend told me that Jacques Martin had been fired I thought I would offer my condolences... So I went up to Martin and told him that although he got fired, he did a helluva job with those Sens that year... Seeing as he hadn't been fired, he laughed and jokingly asked if I knew something he didn't... Then all clicked in.

Saved By The Bell... Greatest. Show. Ever. Next to the Littest Hobo which I plan on bringing back...

I took a baseball Hadj to the Mecca that is Fenway Park during the 93 season. We had found some scalped tickets and were walking with the guy to pick them up when I see Peter Gammons walking towards me. This was in the day when I only knew of him from his writings in Baseball America, not the T.V. star he his now. Anyways I shook his hand and told him I enjoyed his work. He thanked me and we walked on.

- I was with my friend after a game at Exhibition Stadium. We were wandering around in a state of mild inhebration besides the players parking lot. This car comes screeming through the fenced off barrier and almost hits my friend and me - this guy was going way too fast. We turned to each other with mouths agape. We were almost run down by Tony Fernandez.

- And what the hell lets drop a name. I was maybe 10 when the Richmond Hill Hockey League had a banquet for all the kids. (Imagine that today, the mind reels) The guest of honour P.E.T. He landed in the parking lot in a hellicopter. All us kids run to watch this wonderous sight - a hellicopter. Later we are lining one of the ramps when he comes down to make his appearence. We were all a little stunned I guess - what to do? what to say? But I am proud to to say that I was the first to figure it out. From the railing I stuck out my hand which he was happy to shake. After breaking the ice dozens of hands reached out which he did his best to glad hand.

What is it with me and the CBC?
Exhibit 1- Crossing Bloor Street at 6 p.m, I see Knowlton Nash and his wife approaching from the other side. I long to say in that slightly crazed voice of Nash's "Good Night" to him, but my mouth cannot not utter the words. I settle for a slightly crazed look, judging by his reaction to my appearance.
Exhibit 2- I see Ralph Benmergui with a young woman (a redhead?) in a coffee shop on Eglinton. Little did I know he was a chick magnet.

Julian Porter was head of the TTC for a while. When I was about 2, I peed on his front porch. Many years later he hired me as an articling student. He asked me to work on Peter Worthington's campaign for public office; I told him that I would not. Five minutes later, he called me into his office, and said "Green, I want you to come in here at 7 a.m and clean out the latrines". We both laughed.

Alright, here goes nothing. First a little background info.

From the age of 15 to the age of 18, my life revolved around the pursuit of autographs. Yes, I was, what has not so-affectionately become known as, a ‘hound’ (otherwise known as an autograph hound). I should point out, for reputation’s sake, that, in the world of hounding, I was rather unique. You see, I collected baseball autographs, hockey autographs, and even the odd auto racing autograph, and –- hand on the bible, swear on my life – never, not even once, did I exchange any of them for monetary gain. No, the reason I collected was because, as a fan, I loved these sports, and collecting autographs was a way for me to get closer to these pastimes that I so adored.

As admirable (or incredibly cheesy – your choice) as that might seem, I must point out that not every autograph I collected during my ‘career’ was done-so with this noble motivation in mind. Hence bringing me to the point of this post:

The time I met Mickey Rooney.

The details are sketchy. It might have been ’98; possibly late fall. Where I was and what I was doing, I can’t say for sure -- probably hanging out, hounding whatever NHL team happened to be in Toronto on that day. What I do remember are the two rather large fellows (both hounds; both sellers) who somehow convinced me that it would be in my best interests (physically speaking, or so was my fear) to accompany them to the Humming Bird Centre (one of Toronto’s premier performing arts centres). The plan was for me to help them hound out Mickey Rooney, who was in town performing in a production of The Wizard Of Oz -- probably in an attempt to further pay off the many lawyer-bills left over from his numerous failed marriages. Being no older than 15 at the time and fearing the consequences of a refusal, I obliged, and some 20 minutes later I found myself in the rear parking lot of the Humming Bird Centre. As I mentioned before, there was a part of me that feared getting my head kicked in had I not come along. But there was also another reason for my accepting this rather threatening proposal: I really, really wanted to find out who this Mickey Rooney person was! I knew I’d heard the name somewhere, but I just couldn’t figure out where. More on this later…

My first indication that it was going to be an interesting night came quickly. Upon entering the parking lot, we realized we had company. There, leaning up against the wall in some John Travolta Grease-esque pose, dressed in full munchkin attire from head to toe – all of which spanned about 3 feet - was a midget enjoying a rather large spliff.

Don’t worry though! He was a nice midget… So nice, in fact, that in the time we spent waiting for this Mickey Rooney fellow to appear, he happily recounted for us the time he was imprisoned in Mexico and was forced to sell his autograph (how ironic!) to the guards in exchange for bail money. Who knew Munchkins led such interesting lives?

An hour passed: my two captors become more and more agitated at the inability of Mickey Rooney to make his presence known; I became more and more eager to find out just who this Mickey Rooney fellow *was*; and our little friend, blessed his tiny heart, continued to get more stoned by the minute.

At least the munchkin was having a good time.

Things had started to look bleak. Fortunately for us, though, it was at this point that the rear doors to the Hummingbird Centre *swung* open, revealing, in all his glory, MICKEY ROONEY! Ok, it wasn’t him. But that didn’t stop me from rushing him in a huge burst of energy that would make a sprinter proud, pleading, “Mr. Rooney, please sign my 8x10 photo!!!” It turned out to be his manager – if only I’d known that…

Fortunately, the *real* Mickey Rooney appeared just a moment later. Looking like a Rock ‘n Roll raisin with a limp and a scowl, he prodded his way past me. Despite my embarrassment over the events that had just unfolded, I would have certainly rerouted towards the man himself. But something stopped me. I was frozen in my spot, my feet feeling like stone. The reason? It was in that moment that it dawned on me just who this Mickey Rooney person was! Yes! I recognized him. And all too well! The force of my newfound knowledge was so great, so huge, that I could not contain it. Right there, mere feet from the man himself, I shouted out:

“Holy f***, it’s the guy from the Black Stallion!”

It seemed everyone in the immediate area had stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at that the stupid little kid – Mickey’s entourage, my two newest hounding friends, the ganja-smoking munchkin. Not Mickey though. No. Mickey just continued on forward, still wobbling, still looking pissed. “Who the hell’s this kid?” I heard him shout. The question must have been rhetorical, because by the look on his face, and the slightly muted curse words being emanating from under his breath, it didn’t seem like he was interested in an answer. Instead, he proceeded to rip the photo out of my hands, sign it, and hand it back to me, all in one smooth, bitter motion. And before I knew it, he was gone. And, err, that’s it.

My Mickey Rooney Story
Sometime in the nineties I was waiting for a banquet to start. I sat in the bar and had about 3 beers. When I came out, I felt mellow. As I made my way to the banquet room, Mickey Rooney comes across the lobby and we bump into each other. I apologized and made an attemp at some small talk. He was actually very nice to me. We reminiced about places he used to play at or go to, such as the race track. Man is he short.

Met Stephanie Powers at the liquor store where I worked. She was in town for a singing engagement on New Years Eve. She bought a bottle of champagne. Met a lot of celebrities there.

Lee Majors told my son to F... off. He was doing a scene for a movie beside his school and his trailer was in the vacant lot next to the school. The kids all waited for him to come out of his trailer on the other side of the fence. When he saw the kids, he uttered those famous words.

Here are 3--

Bram Morrison grew up around the corner from me. I was good friends with his brother. We used to play ball hockey in his basement, using Bram's guitar case as one of the goal posts

In the days before truly professional caddies, I was the caddie for Frank Beard at the Carling World golf tournament at the Board of Trade club in Toronto--I think it was 1967. Beard was the 4th leading money winner on the Tour at that time. He played with Tom Weiskopf in the practice round. I can't remember who he played with in the first round of the tournament, but he shot 77 and went home. I got paid $20

When I was in Los Angeles last December I had dinner with Jennifer Tilley and Sam Simon--who was one of the creators of "The Simpsons"

Okay, I have a few. I will save the best for last.

(1) On a business trip to Dallas in the mid-90's. Stayed at the Four Seasons club and resort. My friend/colleague and I were playing pool in the bar at the hotel...playing beside us at the only other table was one of the Smothers Brothers...the one with less hair...didnt speak to him though...although I think he was expecting us to say something to him...

(2) Early 90's, went with a university buddy and his family to Buffalo for a weekend. Saw the Canadiens and Sabres on Saturday (?) night. Saw the Patriots vs. the Bills on Sunday. After the hockey game went down to the visitors locker room and stood there and talked to team captain (?) Kirk Muller (sp?). He is my buddies cousin. Cant remember any of the conversation now.

(3) Early 90's, used to do a lot of bar hopping. Went to this large gynasium-like bar in Oshawa (I cant remember the name). Standing five feet away from us was Eric Lindros. Man, he is a big guy. Didnt talk to him.

(4) Probably wont count as everybody has met or seen JP and Keith Law. Attended Auburn vs. Lowell Spinners last year (August, i think). Lowell is about 30-45 minutes north of Boston. Had great seats, 2nd row, between home plate and the 3rd base dugout. JP, Keith Law, and I would guess JP's son (?) were watching the game one section over. Didnt bother going over as it appeared JP was with family. This is the game Banks went 5, no hits, 10 strikeouts. Vito had 2 homers and six ribbies.

(5) In Toronto, buddy and I going to the bars after work walking through the financial district...Judge Reinhold comes out of a movie trailer. Buddy says to him "hey", Judge says "hey"...we continue walking.

(6) Currently, living in Boston. For approx. 6 years now my buddies from Boston have made an annual trip to Montreal. I went the first year and the last two years. This year we met up with a friend of one of my buddies and went bar-hopping. He was "Spalding" from Caddyshack. Really nice guy.

I think thats it.

C.

OK, I don't think Muhammad Ali is a third rate celebrity, and he certainly was not in the seventies when my story takes place but here goes.

I was about 17, working in a resort as a bar waiter for my summer job. Ali comes to stay at the resort to train for a couple of weeks prior to a fight against a stiff, and he runs a lot of hills in the area. I had only seen him in the distance over the first ten days, running the hills, while I was serving drinks to hangers-on charging their drinks to his room. With two days to go before the fight there was a press photo-op in front of the resort that I heard about in advance and I brought my autograph book with me. So Ali starts the photo-op and I go out front and hang at the edge waiting for my chance to ask him for his autograph. After ten minutes or so he sees me and says "hey kid, come here." I go over, he signs, I say "thank you", and that ended my brush with celebrity.

Closest I've come to any celebrity, third rate or otherwise, was in Scotland in May. I was in Glasgow with my mother and aunt and the hotel maid stopped us in the hallway. She told us that if we were willing to hang around for a few minutes, we would catch Engelburt Humperdink checking in. We waited, but no Engelburt. We found out the next day that he had stayed in the room next to ours.

Other than that, Tie Domi drove past me in his Ferrari and smiled. Actually I think he was laughing at the puzzled look on my face. I thought he looked familiar but couldn't quite figure out who he was. I did smile back though. Unlike when Carlos Delgado smiled at me and I froze. I couldn't even think, let alone smile back. What made it worse was the he was warming up before a game, tossing the ball back and forth with one of the other Jays. Every time he caught the ball he'd turn around and smile before he threw it back. I figured there must have been someone sitting behind me that he knew, but when he went in the dugout I looked back and found out I was the only person sitting in that section. I still feel like an ass when I think about it.

The randomly determined time to determine the random entry prize was 4:02pm today, so the random prize will be determined then. The random prize is to be determined at that time, as well.

The winner of the contest will be announced along with the random entry prize, shortly after 4:02pm.

Re-reading all of these, to determine a winner, has been great. You guys are hilarious.

The winners have been announced!