Leigh Sprague, who you will all rememebr from his August pinch-hit appearance ("Concerned About Hinske?"), steps into the Box again today with his new piece, A Civil Action. Thanks, Leigh.
I think it's fair to warn everyone that all events portrayed and quotations ascribed in this piece are fictitious and the views represented herein are Leigh's own and do not represent the views of the persons portrayed.
Also, a piece of special pleading in advance... *some* of the credit for the Jays' current group of terrific prospects must go to Gord Ash. But I think it's safe to say that most of us remember him in a different light... and so over to Leigh. :)
A Civil Action: Jays Fans v. Ash
By Leigh Sprague*
*Leigh has intended, for a couple of months now, to submit another Pinch Hit. Through some bizarre amalgam of his academically mandated fixation on Trial Practice and his natural obsession with the Jays, he contributes the following to the Batter’s Box.
The following piece is fictitious, and some liberties are taken, both with particular fact scenarios and the rules of Canadian civil procedure and evidence. The statistics and contract figures are, however, real. The piece pokes some fun at former Toronto Blue Jays General Manager Gord Ash, who did some good things during his tenure, such as drafting Roy Halladay and Vernon Wells. The sweetness of those draft picks should not be forgotten while reading the foregoing, which is rather sour with regard to Ash.
In a unique class-action lawsuit, a collective of Blue Jay fans from across Canada has elected to pursue legal action against former Toronto General Manager Gord Ash. This is unprecedented. The suit, which was filed in the Superior Court of Justice, sets out the particulars:
[1] That Gord Ash did, from October 31st, 1994 to October 1st, 2001, negligently decimate the Toronto Blue Jays baseball franchise, thus breaching his fiduciary duty owed the fans of that franchise;
[2] That Gord Ash did, on the dates alleged, execute a veritable smorgasbord of poor trades, free agents signings, and other baseball transactions;
[3] That Gord Ash did, on the dates alleged, negligently start Roy Halladay’s arbitration clock prematurely;
[4] That Gord Ash did, on the date alleged, frighten countless Canadian children by dressing up as Doctor Evil.
The Defence for Gord Ash concedes particulars [3] and [4] above.
The Plaintiffs seek the following relief:
[1] General damages in an amount to be determined by the Court;
[2] A public apology to Toronto Blue Jays fans;
[3] Punitive damages, in the form of Gord Ash being banished to Milwaukee... withdrawn, as it has already happened;
The Trial
Jury selection was time consuming, as the Court insisted upon finding twelve individuals who would not laugh when told that Ash signed Deion Sanders during the 2001 season. The Court did find a suitable jury in Toronto, but only after the judge rejected a defence application to have the venue changed to Nunavut to find an truly impartial jury. The judge, maintaining that such a change of venue would be futile, said: “nary a polar bear in the north would pay Erik Hanson $9.3 million over three years.”
The Plaintiff began by calling Dave Stewart:
Question: Mr. Stewart, did you work for the Blue Jays during the Gord Ash regime?
Answer: Yes, I was Assistant General Manager under Gord Ash.
Q: And where had you worked before?
A: I was in San Diego, working with the Padres.
Q: Did you work with Joey Hamilton in San Diego?
A: Yeah, we became friends. We went to the San Diego Zoo together, his treat.
Q: Did you ever mention Joey Hamilton to Gord Ash?
A: Yes, I did. I told Ash that Hamilton was a nice guy and that he took me to the zoo.
Q: Do you remember the day that you told him that?
A: Yes, it was December 12th, 1998.
Q: What happened on that day?
A: That morning I was telling Gord how Hamilton was such a nice guy, but before I got to the part about how Hamilton walked 106 batters in 1998, I realised that it was lunch time. It was my turn to get lunch, so Gord handed me twenty dollars so that we could go halves on a SkyDome hotdog. Anyhow, when I returned with our hotdog, I saw Gord hanging up the phone. He was grinning like an idiot.
Q: What did he do next?
A: I thought nothing of the hanging up and the grin; Gord is a jolly guy, always grinning about something. We shared the hotdog and I went back to my office.
Q: And then what happened?
A: That’s when I saw it.
Q: Saw what?
A: A line scrolling across the bottom of my television monitor, it read: “Toronto Blue Jays trade P Woody Williams and P Carlos Almanzar to San Diego Padres for P Joey Hamilton”.
Q: How did that trade work out for you?
A: We paid Hamilton $17.1 million over three years.
Q: Did he perform well?
A: Well? Well? He made 46 starts in those three years, winning 14 of them with a 5.83 ERA. That, my friend, is not well.
Q: What about Woody Williams?
A: Since we traded him, he has gone 64 - 42 with a 3.86 ERA.
The next witness called by the Plaintiff was J.P. Ricciardi:
Q: Mr. Ricciardi, I understand that you are the current General Manager of the Toronto Blue Jays?
A: Yes, I am. I was hired on November 14th, 2001.
Q: You took over for Gord Ash?
A: Yeah, I got his old office. Cabbage.
Q: Cabbage?
A: Yes, the office smelled like cabbage.
Q: That’s odd. Did you notice anything else about the office?
A: Yes... he left behind something really, really disgusting.
Q: What was it?
A: Alex Gonzalez’ contract. It was signed in December of 2000, and was a four year deal worth $20 million. In the first season of the new contract, 2001, he struck out 149 times, with 43 walks and a lofty .303 on-base percentage.
Q: What did you do?
A: Luckily I was able to trade Gonzalez one month after I took the job.
Q: Any other bad contracts?
A: Well, Carlos Delgado’s is more pricey than I would like, $68 million over four years, but he is one hell of a player. He is worth a dump-truck full of money. That being said, I am still looking forward to the end of the 2004 season, when this deal is over and we can sign Carlos to a more manageable one.
Q: Did Gord Ash leave you any other bad contracts?
A: In my first year, 2002, we gave a total of $24.2 million to Raul Mondesi, Steve Parris, Esteban Loaiza and Homer Bush. Thankfully, all those contracts are gone now. I wouldn’t mind still having Loaiza around after the season that he just had in Chicago, but he did not perform well here. Parris and Bush have fallen off the face of the Earth, and Mondesi’s post-Jay career path has been turbulent.
The most sensational portion of the trial occurred when Gord Ash himself took the stand. Examined first in chief by the Defence, Ash maintained that he was a competent General Manager. Apparently attempting to curry favour with any jury members who may be fans of the 1990's television program Blossom, Ash showed up wearing a Joe Lawrence jersey.
Ash was cross-examined by the Plaintiff:
Q: Mr. Ash, you were the General Manager of the Toronto Blue Jays?
A: Yes, I became the General Manager of the Jays on October 31st, 1994.
Q: You took over a proud franchise?
A: Yes, they were only one season removed from having won back-to-back World Series championships.
Q: Are you aware that the subsequent years, 1994 - 2001 have been termed the “dark years”?.
A: The “dark years” were, coincidentally enough, the exact years of my tenure as General Manager.
Q: Precisely. I am going to turn your attention to a trade that you made on November 14th, 1996, do you remember that?
A: Yes, I sent six unremarkable players to the Pirates for Orlando Merced, Dan Plesac and Carlos Garcia.
Q: How do you think that trade worked out for you?
A: Not too bad. Merced and Garcia didn’t do much, but I didn’t really give anything up.
Q: What about the salaries that you paid to Merced and Garcia?
A: I guess I didn’t really take note of the salaries, the important thing is that we got those players.
Q: Would you believe me if I told you that you paid Merced $2.7 million and Garcia $2.6 million for the 1997 season?
A: That sounds about right.
Q: That doesn’t seem a little high to you?
A: Merced played in 98 games, compiling a .765 OPS. That’s not terrible.
Q: It’s also not worth $2.7 million. What about Garcia?
A: He was a real sparkplug, worth every penny.
Q: Worth every penny? He hit .220 in 103 games. He walked only 15 times.
A: Hey, I made some good moves that winter.
Q: Good moves? Do you mean when you traded John Olerud AND cash to the Mets for Robert Person?
A: Robert who?
Q: Exactly, Mr. Ash. Robert Person went 8 - 13 with a 6.18 ERA in three seasons with the Jays. Did you really think that he would be worth Olerud AND cash?
A: Hey man, I know what it takes to win. It takes a good bullpen, and Robert Person could have been really good for the Jays' bullpen.
Q: You mention the value of a bullpen, what do you mean?
A: I mean that great teams need great bullpens. Just look at the 2002 Anaheim Angels, with guys like Brendan Donnelly and Ben Weber, they were unstoppable.
Q: Yeah, Donnelly and Weber are really good, do you know how good?
A: I know that Weber has a career 3.18 ERA, and that Donnelly’s is even better at 1.82.
Q: Don’t you wish that you would have had them in Toronto?
A: Yeah, that would have been great.
Q: Then why, on March 24th, 1996, did you release Ben Weber? And why, on July 22nd, 2000, did you release Brendan Donnelly?
A: Oops.
Q: Oops is right, Gordo. What about the Woody Williams for Joey Hamilton trade that Mr. Stewart testified about earlier, was that an oops too?
A: No no. What happened there was that after Dave told me about Hamilton, I took a look at his stats. I saw 1 BB, 31 SO, 1 HR, and .131 BA. Looked like one hell of a pitcher to me. Turns out that I was looking at his hitting stats, not his pitching stats. It could happen to anyone.
Q: In November of 1999, you traded Shawn Green?
A: Yes, Shawn wanted out of Toronto, so my hand was forced. I was lucky though, because I got Raul Mondesi. Man, that Mondesi guy had a great arm.
Q: Do you realize that Mondesi cost the Jays $33 million over the next three seasons, a span during which he had a .328 on-base percentage?
A: Yeah, but what an arm... man, that guy could throw.
Q: What about Esteban Loaiza, could he throw?
A: Not as a Blue Jay, but he is doing well now.
Q: Do you know what he cost the Jays after you traded for him?
A: Yeah, for two and a half seasons worth of 4.96 ERA, the Jays payed him over $10 million.
Q: Did you know that that trade also cost the Jays Michael Young, who is now the third best second baseman in the American League, according to Baseball Prospectus’ VORP?
A: Look man, I don’t know what VORP is, but we didn’t need Young because we had Homer Bush at second.
Q: Funny you should say that. VORP is Value Over Replacement Player, and Homer Bush was a replacement level player. In fact, you are quite familiar with replacement level second basemen, aren’t you?
A: If you mean guys like Carlos Garcia, Pat Kelly, Tomas Perez, Homer Bush and Joe Lawrence, then yes.
Q: In fact, the Jays did not have a competent second baseman between Roberto Alomar in 1995 and Orlando Hudson in the second half of 2002, is that correct?
A: Whoa! Joe Lawrence is solid. His .509 career OPS is on the rise, you’ll see.
The Plaintiffs chose to end it there, feeling that the last statement was a pretty good indication of Ash's lunacy. The humble former ticket-taker at Exhibition Stadium, who had risen to the highest peak of Toronto’s front office, now must hope that the twelve people in the jury box will see that he has been punished enough by being banished to Milwaukee to work for Selig and the Brewers. Although it looks bleak, the jury is still out because it is too soon to surmise the ultimate effects of some of Ash’s later moves. Ash is responsible for having drafted Halladay, Wells and Hudson, but he is also responsible for some bad player moves and contracts which perpetuated the post-World Series hangover for seven years and left the J.P. regime with some bad contracts.
I think it's fair to warn everyone that all events portrayed and quotations ascribed in this piece are fictitious and the views represented herein are Leigh's own and do not represent the views of the persons portrayed.
Also, a piece of special pleading in advance... *some* of the credit for the Jays' current group of terrific prospects must go to Gord Ash. But I think it's safe to say that most of us remember him in a different light... and so over to Leigh. :)
A Civil Action: Jays Fans v. Ash
By Leigh Sprague*
*Leigh has intended, for a couple of months now, to submit another Pinch Hit. Through some bizarre amalgam of his academically mandated fixation on Trial Practice and his natural obsession with the Jays, he contributes the following to the Batter’s Box.
The following piece is fictitious, and some liberties are taken, both with particular fact scenarios and the rules of Canadian civil procedure and evidence. The statistics and contract figures are, however, real. The piece pokes some fun at former Toronto Blue Jays General Manager Gord Ash, who did some good things during his tenure, such as drafting Roy Halladay and Vernon Wells. The sweetness of those draft picks should not be forgotten while reading the foregoing, which is rather sour with regard to Ash.
In a unique class-action lawsuit, a collective of Blue Jay fans from across Canada has elected to pursue legal action against former Toronto General Manager Gord Ash. This is unprecedented. The suit, which was filed in the Superior Court of Justice, sets out the particulars:
[1] That Gord Ash did, from October 31st, 1994 to October 1st, 2001, negligently decimate the Toronto Blue Jays baseball franchise, thus breaching his fiduciary duty owed the fans of that franchise;
[2] That Gord Ash did, on the dates alleged, execute a veritable smorgasbord of poor trades, free agents signings, and other baseball transactions;
[3] That Gord Ash did, on the dates alleged, negligently start Roy Halladay’s arbitration clock prematurely;
[4] That Gord Ash did, on the date alleged, frighten countless Canadian children by dressing up as Doctor Evil.
The Defence for Gord Ash concedes particulars [3] and [4] above.
The Plaintiffs seek the following relief:
[1] General damages in an amount to be determined by the Court;
[2] A public apology to Toronto Blue Jays fans;
[3] Punitive damages, in the form of Gord Ash being banished to Milwaukee... withdrawn, as it has already happened;
The Trial
Jury selection was time consuming, as the Court insisted upon finding twelve individuals who would not laugh when told that Ash signed Deion Sanders during the 2001 season. The Court did find a suitable jury in Toronto, but only after the judge rejected a defence application to have the venue changed to Nunavut to find an truly impartial jury. The judge, maintaining that such a change of venue would be futile, said: “nary a polar bear in the north would pay Erik Hanson $9.3 million over three years.”
The Plaintiff began by calling Dave Stewart:
Question: Mr. Stewart, did you work for the Blue Jays during the Gord Ash regime?
Answer: Yes, I was Assistant General Manager under Gord Ash.
Q: And where had you worked before?
A: I was in San Diego, working with the Padres.
Q: Did you work with Joey Hamilton in San Diego?
A: Yeah, we became friends. We went to the San Diego Zoo together, his treat.
Q: Did you ever mention Joey Hamilton to Gord Ash?
A: Yes, I did. I told Ash that Hamilton was a nice guy and that he took me to the zoo.
Q: Do you remember the day that you told him that?
A: Yes, it was December 12th, 1998.
Q: What happened on that day?
A: That morning I was telling Gord how Hamilton was such a nice guy, but before I got to the part about how Hamilton walked 106 batters in 1998, I realised that it was lunch time. It was my turn to get lunch, so Gord handed me twenty dollars so that we could go halves on a SkyDome hotdog. Anyhow, when I returned with our hotdog, I saw Gord hanging up the phone. He was grinning like an idiot.
Q: What did he do next?
A: I thought nothing of the hanging up and the grin; Gord is a jolly guy, always grinning about something. We shared the hotdog and I went back to my office.
Q: And then what happened?
A: That’s when I saw it.
Q: Saw what?
A: A line scrolling across the bottom of my television monitor, it read: “Toronto Blue Jays trade P Woody Williams and P Carlos Almanzar to San Diego Padres for P Joey Hamilton”.
Q: How did that trade work out for you?
A: We paid Hamilton $17.1 million over three years.
Q: Did he perform well?
A: Well? Well? He made 46 starts in those three years, winning 14 of them with a 5.83 ERA. That, my friend, is not well.
Q: What about Woody Williams?
A: Since we traded him, he has gone 64 - 42 with a 3.86 ERA.
The next witness called by the Plaintiff was J.P. Ricciardi:
Q: Mr. Ricciardi, I understand that you are the current General Manager of the Toronto Blue Jays?
A: Yes, I am. I was hired on November 14th, 2001.
Q: You took over for Gord Ash?
A: Yeah, I got his old office. Cabbage.
Q: Cabbage?
A: Yes, the office smelled like cabbage.
Q: That’s odd. Did you notice anything else about the office?
A: Yes... he left behind something really, really disgusting.
Q: What was it?
A: Alex Gonzalez’ contract. It was signed in December of 2000, and was a four year deal worth $20 million. In the first season of the new contract, 2001, he struck out 149 times, with 43 walks and a lofty .303 on-base percentage.
Q: What did you do?
A: Luckily I was able to trade Gonzalez one month after I took the job.
Q: Any other bad contracts?
A: Well, Carlos Delgado’s is more pricey than I would like, $68 million over four years, but he is one hell of a player. He is worth a dump-truck full of money. That being said, I am still looking forward to the end of the 2004 season, when this deal is over and we can sign Carlos to a more manageable one.
Q: Did Gord Ash leave you any other bad contracts?
A: In my first year, 2002, we gave a total of $24.2 million to Raul Mondesi, Steve Parris, Esteban Loaiza and Homer Bush. Thankfully, all those contracts are gone now. I wouldn’t mind still having Loaiza around after the season that he just had in Chicago, but he did not perform well here. Parris and Bush have fallen off the face of the Earth, and Mondesi’s post-Jay career path has been turbulent.
The most sensational portion of the trial occurred when Gord Ash himself took the stand. Examined first in chief by the Defence, Ash maintained that he was a competent General Manager. Apparently attempting to curry favour with any jury members who may be fans of the 1990's television program Blossom, Ash showed up wearing a Joe Lawrence jersey.
Ash was cross-examined by the Plaintiff:
Q: Mr. Ash, you were the General Manager of the Toronto Blue Jays?
A: Yes, I became the General Manager of the Jays on October 31st, 1994.
Q: You took over a proud franchise?
A: Yes, they were only one season removed from having won back-to-back World Series championships.
Q: Are you aware that the subsequent years, 1994 - 2001 have been termed the “dark years”?.
A: The “dark years” were, coincidentally enough, the exact years of my tenure as General Manager.
Q: Precisely. I am going to turn your attention to a trade that you made on November 14th, 1996, do you remember that?
A: Yes, I sent six unremarkable players to the Pirates for Orlando Merced, Dan Plesac and Carlos Garcia.
Q: How do you think that trade worked out for you?
A: Not too bad. Merced and Garcia didn’t do much, but I didn’t really give anything up.
Q: What about the salaries that you paid to Merced and Garcia?
A: I guess I didn’t really take note of the salaries, the important thing is that we got those players.
Q: Would you believe me if I told you that you paid Merced $2.7 million and Garcia $2.6 million for the 1997 season?
A: That sounds about right.
Q: That doesn’t seem a little high to you?
A: Merced played in 98 games, compiling a .765 OPS. That’s not terrible.
Q: It’s also not worth $2.7 million. What about Garcia?
A: He was a real sparkplug, worth every penny.
Q: Worth every penny? He hit .220 in 103 games. He walked only 15 times.
A: Hey, I made some good moves that winter.
Q: Good moves? Do you mean when you traded John Olerud AND cash to the Mets for Robert Person?
A: Robert who?
Q: Exactly, Mr. Ash. Robert Person went 8 - 13 with a 6.18 ERA in three seasons with the Jays. Did you really think that he would be worth Olerud AND cash?
A: Hey man, I know what it takes to win. It takes a good bullpen, and Robert Person could have been really good for the Jays' bullpen.
Q: You mention the value of a bullpen, what do you mean?
A: I mean that great teams need great bullpens. Just look at the 2002 Anaheim Angels, with guys like Brendan Donnelly and Ben Weber, they were unstoppable.
Q: Yeah, Donnelly and Weber are really good, do you know how good?
A: I know that Weber has a career 3.18 ERA, and that Donnelly’s is even better at 1.82.
Q: Don’t you wish that you would have had them in Toronto?
A: Yeah, that would have been great.
Q: Then why, on March 24th, 1996, did you release Ben Weber? And why, on July 22nd, 2000, did you release Brendan Donnelly?
A: Oops.
Q: Oops is right, Gordo. What about the Woody Williams for Joey Hamilton trade that Mr. Stewart testified about earlier, was that an oops too?
A: No no. What happened there was that after Dave told me about Hamilton, I took a look at his stats. I saw 1 BB, 31 SO, 1 HR, and .131 BA. Looked like one hell of a pitcher to me. Turns out that I was looking at his hitting stats, not his pitching stats. It could happen to anyone.
Q: In November of 1999, you traded Shawn Green?
A: Yes, Shawn wanted out of Toronto, so my hand was forced. I was lucky though, because I got Raul Mondesi. Man, that Mondesi guy had a great arm.
Q: Do you realize that Mondesi cost the Jays $33 million over the next three seasons, a span during which he had a .328 on-base percentage?
A: Yeah, but what an arm... man, that guy could throw.
Q: What about Esteban Loaiza, could he throw?
A: Not as a Blue Jay, but he is doing well now.
Q: Do you know what he cost the Jays after you traded for him?
A: Yeah, for two and a half seasons worth of 4.96 ERA, the Jays payed him over $10 million.
Q: Did you know that that trade also cost the Jays Michael Young, who is now the third best second baseman in the American League, according to Baseball Prospectus’ VORP?
A: Look man, I don’t know what VORP is, but we didn’t need Young because we had Homer Bush at second.
Q: Funny you should say that. VORP is Value Over Replacement Player, and Homer Bush was a replacement level player. In fact, you are quite familiar with replacement level second basemen, aren’t you?
A: If you mean guys like Carlos Garcia, Pat Kelly, Tomas Perez, Homer Bush and Joe Lawrence, then yes.
Q: In fact, the Jays did not have a competent second baseman between Roberto Alomar in 1995 and Orlando Hudson in the second half of 2002, is that correct?
A: Whoa! Joe Lawrence is solid. His .509 career OPS is on the rise, you’ll see.
The Plaintiffs chose to end it there, feeling that the last statement was a pretty good indication of Ash's lunacy. The humble former ticket-taker at Exhibition Stadium, who had risen to the highest peak of Toronto’s front office, now must hope that the twelve people in the jury box will see that he has been punished enough by being banished to Milwaukee to work for Selig and the Brewers. Although it looks bleak, the jury is still out because it is too soon to surmise the ultimate effects of some of Ash’s later moves. Ash is responsible for having drafted Halladay, Wells and Hudson, but he is also responsible for some bad player moves and contracts which perpetuated the post-World Series hangover for seven years and left the J.P. regime with some bad contracts.