A thread on Baseball Primer led me to think up this little puzzler.
Having just watched his beloved Cubs fiasco their way to another pennant loss, Joey Krwyzszknieck (pronounced Jones) was reproaching his maker in that rather colorful Chicago way.
"I mean, God, c'mon, did you really need to throw STEVE BARTMAN at us!? Why have you forsaken me?"
Surprisingly, this little piece of provocation was just about God's last straw.
"Don't be such a drama queen," answered a voice so powerful that the earth shook.
"Jesus," said Joey, "I mean, sorry... Christ... oh, damn, shit, sorry."
An earth-shaking sigh filled the cosmos. "I have not forsaken you, my child."
"I know you are the Lord and all," replied Joey, "but come on! And not just me. All us Cub fans. Are we so horrible? What did that bastard Wrigley ever do to you?"
"OK," the booming voice responded, "this is strictly offside the handbook, but I kind of see your point. I'll tell you what... can the blasphemies and I'll make you a deal.
"I'll make sure the Cubs get into the NLCS next year. And I'll make sure that they get play a team exactly as good as they are."
"That's it?" responded Joey. "I mean, no offense, but a fifty-fifty shot isn't going to make me praise and exalt your gloriousness. We have to live with Dusty... come on, throw us a bone."
"OK," said God. "I see your point. Of course, I see all, but that's a horse of a different color. Tell you what, I'll also let you pick a game of the series that I will assure they win. Any game you like. But no telling anyone, and NO betting! I'm still tryng to live down 1960."
"Sure thing," said Joey. "Thanks! I get to pick any game I want? Game 7 then! They'll be sure to make the World Series"
"Hang on a sec," said God. "It's not that easy. If the series ends before the game you pick, you're out of luck. I'm not monkeying around with the length of the series as well. Now you'll have to excuse me, I have several more plagues to rain down on Arnold Schwarzenegger. Make your pick, and make it quick."
Which game should Joey pick to maximize the Cubs' chances of making it to the World Series?
Having just watched his beloved Cubs fiasco their way to another pennant loss, Joey Krwyzszknieck (pronounced Jones) was reproaching his maker in that rather colorful Chicago way.
"I mean, God, c'mon, did you really need to throw STEVE BARTMAN at us!? Why have you forsaken me?"
Surprisingly, this little piece of provocation was just about God's last straw.
"Don't be such a drama queen," answered a voice so powerful that the earth shook.
"Jesus," said Joey, "I mean, sorry... Christ... oh, damn, shit, sorry."
An earth-shaking sigh filled the cosmos. "I have not forsaken you, my child."
"I know you are the Lord and all," replied Joey, "but come on! And not just me. All us Cub fans. Are we so horrible? What did that bastard Wrigley ever do to you?"
"OK," the booming voice responded, "this is strictly offside the handbook, but I kind of see your point. I'll tell you what... can the blasphemies and I'll make you a deal.
"I'll make sure the Cubs get into the NLCS next year. And I'll make sure that they get play a team exactly as good as they are."
"That's it?" responded Joey. "I mean, no offense, but a fifty-fifty shot isn't going to make me praise and exalt your gloriousness. We have to live with Dusty... come on, throw us a bone."
"OK," said God. "I see your point. Of course, I see all, but that's a horse of a different color. Tell you what, I'll also let you pick a game of the series that I will assure they win. Any game you like. But no telling anyone, and NO betting! I'm still tryng to live down 1960."
"Sure thing," said Joey. "Thanks! I get to pick any game I want? Game 7 then! They'll be sure to make the World Series"
"Hang on a sec," said God. "It's not that easy. If the series ends before the game you pick, you're out of luck. I'm not monkeying around with the length of the series as well. Now you'll have to excuse me, I have several more plagues to rain down on Arnold Schwarzenegger. Make your pick, and make it quick."
Which game should Joey pick to maximize the Cubs' chances of making it to the World Series?