Come on. Admit it. You’ve done it. You’ve watched a player and smiled at his failures, either in the post-season or in the regular season—and not because he’s facing your favorite team. You’ve cheered at this player’s utter ineptitude to hit a breaking ball. At his astonishing lack of ability to field a ground ball. At his preposterous propensity to hang a slider or to deliver a non-sinking sinker during a close game. At his underachieving ways. Maybe you’ve even delighted in a player getting injured (as long as it’s not life-threatening). And if you claim to have never experienced this? Quit lying and fess up.
In that spirit, and in the spirit of the Batter’s Box Least Valuable Player Awards, I offer the “First Annual” Batter’s Box Schadenfreude Awards. You don’t have to provide a reason why you are happy when your player fails; sometimes we like players for irrational reasons, so it stands to reason we can dislike players for irrational ones. It may be his swing. His pitching motion. His arrogance. His public comments. His surliness. His nose hair. Whatever. It doesn’t matter.
But, of course, there are the completely rational reasons we dislike players, such as the ones I mentioned above. To wit: Blue Jays fans no doubt have their reasons for wishing Raul Mondesi, Jose Cruz, Alex Gonzalez, and other underachieving malcontents to fall flat on their asses. It doesn’t have to be an ex-Jay, of course. It can be an opponent who has beat up on your team one too many times. You are not limited in quantity, either. If there are multiple players who make you smile widely when they fail, list them here. Again, there are no rules, no requirements other than that purest of human emotions: taking pleasure in other people’s misfortunes.
Further, there are those players who just kill us when they succeed. So, in conjunction with the award for the person we most like to see fail, we will open the virtual floor to discussion of the Anti-Schadenfreude Award: the person we most hate to see succeed. (He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named for Blue Jays fans may win the AL Cy Young Award, and, judging by the overwhelming antipathy displayed for Mr. L----- here on Da Box, E------ is automatically disqualified.) And the same rules/lack of rules apply here: there are no rules; nothing is required but that other purest of human emotions: jealousy/hatred of another person’s success.
And so, to get the ball rolling, I present my Schadenfreude winner, the player I not-so-secretly root for to fail, and have taken great pleasure in his absurd talent at failing/getting hurt/making an ass of himself. I like to call this player “Jeremy Giambi,” for reasons I’ve outlined so many times I won’t repeat here. As for my Anti-Schadenfruede winner, my vote goes to Barry Bonds. I don’t care how great he is—and he IS obviously great, arguably the greatest ever—I can’t stand him.
Remember: there are no winners here. But there are many losers.
Let the bitching begin.
In that spirit, and in the spirit of the Batter’s Box Least Valuable Player Awards, I offer the “First Annual” Batter’s Box Schadenfreude Awards. You don’t have to provide a reason why you are happy when your player fails; sometimes we like players for irrational reasons, so it stands to reason we can dislike players for irrational ones. It may be his swing. His pitching motion. His arrogance. His public comments. His surliness. His nose hair. Whatever. It doesn’t matter.
But, of course, there are the completely rational reasons we dislike players, such as the ones I mentioned above. To wit: Blue Jays fans no doubt have their reasons for wishing Raul Mondesi, Jose Cruz, Alex Gonzalez, and other underachieving malcontents to fall flat on their asses. It doesn’t have to be an ex-Jay, of course. It can be an opponent who has beat up on your team one too many times. You are not limited in quantity, either. If there are multiple players who make you smile widely when they fail, list them here. Again, there are no rules, no requirements other than that purest of human emotions: taking pleasure in other people’s misfortunes.
Further, there are those players who just kill us when they succeed. So, in conjunction with the award for the person we most like to see fail, we will open the virtual floor to discussion of the Anti-Schadenfreude Award: the person we most hate to see succeed. (He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named for Blue Jays fans may win the AL Cy Young Award, and, judging by the overwhelming antipathy displayed for Mr. L----- here on Da Box, E------ is automatically disqualified.) And the same rules/lack of rules apply here: there are no rules; nothing is required but that other purest of human emotions: jealousy/hatred of another person’s success.
And so, to get the ball rolling, I present my Schadenfreude winner, the player I not-so-secretly root for to fail, and have taken great pleasure in his absurd talent at failing/getting hurt/making an ass of himself. I like to call this player “Jeremy Giambi,” for reasons I’ve outlined so many times I won’t repeat here. As for my Anti-Schadenfruede winner, my vote goes to Barry Bonds. I don’t care how great he is—and he IS obviously great, arguably the greatest ever—I can’t stand him.
Remember: there are no winners here. But there are many losers.
Let the bitching begin.
