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In King Kaufman's Sports Daily for Salon yesterday, he took a stab at a standard of sports columnists: best sports movies, or what he called "sports movies will provide hours of schmaltz-free entertainment." Please, please let's not get into that discussion again. Talk about your case of terminal tired-head. However ...

Kaufman writes, "It's funny how the same people keep showing up. [Paul Newman] ... Jackie Gleason ... James Caan, Jeff Bridges. Is there a sports movie All-Star team?

Now THAT'S a great question. Can we build an all-time, all-movie, baseball all-star team? No cheating -- not "Jackie" from The Jackie Robinson Story. Not "George" from The Babe. We're looking for Nuke LaLoosh and Crash Davis from Bull Durham, Willie Mays Hayes and Ricky Vaughn from Major League even King Kelly from It Happens Every Spring.

And feel free to reach ... people who appeared as fictional baseball players in non-sports movies, even. Under the right circumstances, we might even accept a TV character. Can we fill out a roster? Sure. But what about a manager, owner, announcer, mascot? And how creative can we be?
Posted by Mick Doherty on Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 01:15 AM EDT.
That's Robert DeNiro Behind the Plate! | 20 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.
_Jurgen - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 01:23 PM EDT (#33437) #
Well, we should dry out Sam Millone and get Coach Patusso on the bench.
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_Jurgen - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 01:24 PM EDT (#33438) #
Or Malone. Heck, get both of them!
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_Matthew Elmslie - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 01:25 PM EDT (#33439) #
What about literary characters? Can we use those too?
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_Mick - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 01:41 PM EDT (#33440) #
Sure! Bring on anyone fictional.

I'm thinking now of Garrett Morris' great SNL character Chico Esquella. He could be the ... what was he? A pitcher?

Or even the legendary Joe Shlabotnik of Peanuts fame ... though if I recall correctly, he'd have to DH.
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_Mike Mac - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 02:54 PM EDT (#33441) #
#1 starter - Sidd Finch
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_Marc Rapin - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 03:11 PM EDT (#33442) #
http://thejays.blogspot.com/
Head chearleader has to go to Jessica Biel who was in that Freddie Prinze movie "Summer Catch".
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_Snappy - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 03:15 PM EDT (#33443) #
Chico Esquela was a second baseman...

Batting third, Roy Hobbs from The Natural.
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_Spicol - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 03:20 PM EDT (#33444) #
I'd say Casey, but he strikes out too much.
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_perlhack - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 03:43 PM EDT (#33445) #
The irate manager was heard exclaiming, "So fair a foul I have not seen."
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_Macbeth - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 03:58 PM EDT (#33446) #
Whereupon the umpire replied: "Fair is foul, and foul is fair."
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_Gwyn - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 03:58 PM EDT (#33447) #
John Candy and Ronald Reagan would make one of the oddest batteries ever.
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Craig B - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 04:18 PM EDT (#33448) #
The owner is no problem at all! How about K. C. Higgins?

Esther Williams... hubba hubba.
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Craig B - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 04:25 PM EDT (#33449) #
We already have Roy Hobbs in right field, so we'll have to switch him over to left, but I really think Stan Rogalski from _The Iowa Baseball Confederacy_ should be on the team.

And I second Sidd Finch... great idea.

I have a soft spot for another starting pitcher, with the advantage that he's actually a fiction-within-a-fiction... Damon Rutherford, the rookie pitcher who throws a perfect game in the opening chapter of Robert Coover's _The Universal Baseball Association Inc., J. Henry Waugh, Prop._ He'd make a great #2.
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Craig B - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 04:30 PM EDT (#33450) #
Oh yeah, I have the perfect mascot too!

You can't do better than the Capital City Goofball.
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Craig B - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 04:37 PM EDT (#33451) #
For those who aren't into old movies, this shot is about eight years after _Take Me Out To The Ball Game_, but it gives you some idea.

Esther Williams



This one's smaller, but still very nice.

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_Matthew Elmslie - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 04:42 PM EDT (#33452) #
Literary lineup:

C: Ethan Feld (from 'Summerland' by Michael Chabon)
1B: Elgin Woodell (from 'The Rookie' by Jerry Jenkins)
2B: Davy Tremayne (from 'California Rush' by Sherwood Kiraly)
3B: Linda Sunshine (from 'She's On First' by Barbara Gregorich) (moved from SS)
SS: Randy Dreyfus (from 'The Dreyfus Affair' by Peter Lefcourt)
OF: Harvey Blissberg (from a series of mysteries by Richard Rosen)
OF: John Barr (from 'Sometimes You See It Coming' by Kevin Baker)
OF: Ricky Falls (from 'Sometimes You See It Coming' by Kevin Baker)
DH: Alibi Ike (from the Ring Lardner short story of the same name)
UT: Charlie Tyke (from 'California Rush' by Sherwood Kiraly)
UT: Kerby Maxwell (from the 'Trick' books by Scott Corbett)
P: Johnny Longboat (from 'The Seventh Game' by Roger Kahn)
P: Jennifer T. Rideout (from 'Summerland' by Michael Chabon)
P: Sidd Finch (from 'The Curious Case of Sidd Finch' by George Plimpton)
P: Sam Ward (from 'Strike Zone' by Jim Bouton and Eliot Asinof)
P: Fenton Claypool (from the 'Trick' books by Scott Corbett)

Not literary, but we also have to mention Leonard 'The Rooster' Willoughby and 'King' Carl Johnson from Saturday Night Live's Negro Leagues sketch back in the '80s.
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_rodent - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 05:07 PM EDT (#33453) #
It's nice to be reminded of Robert Coover's pricksongs and descants. Thank you, Craig. Nice to meet you.

And as my recball experience inclines me, I think girls may qualify for this team, but let's have a girls team too. Whoever least relies on A League of their Own, wins.

I'm thinkin' Amanda Whurlitzer to start.
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Craig B - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 05:24 PM EDT (#33454) #
It was nice to meet you too, rodent. Next time I'll stay to watch Phelps hit his home run.
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Craig B - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 05:27 PM EDT (#33455) #
Oh, and I'll take Julia Nevez from _The Year I Owned The Yankees_ as a shortstop.
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_Mick - Thursday, July 31 2003 @ 06:18 PM EDT (#33456) #
Your uber-utilityman is Mickey Rawlings from all the Troy Soos mystery novels. (If you have not read these ... do so. That is a direct order.)

Mickey would not only be able to play all over the field, he'd bring the handy ability to solve dastardly crimes.
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