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That's right ... it's the return of Baseball's Hall of Names: Philosophy 101 Edition. Inspired by a teriffically interesting discussion in the We'd Love To Help, Here's Ten Bucks thread -- hey, any discussion that includes a legitimate comparison of John Stuart Mill to Barry Bonds qualifies as interesting -- I thought we'd try to build an All-Philosophers Team.

No, not the Garry "If I Ain't Startin', I Ain't Departin'" Templeton type of philosopher, but rather a team of players who share names with noted philosophers, theologians, etc.

Here's the thing, though ... it seems that virtually every candidate I can come up with was a pitcher. Which leads to an interesting, ah, philosophical question of sorts in itself. Do philosophers make better pitchers? Or is it the reverse?

Read on for a rotation from Kuhn to Jung and a bullpen stocked with Foucault and Hume. And let's build a real lineup ... if, ah, reality exists, that is ...

Plenty of cups of coffee and journeymen ... Bob "Thomas" KUHN pitched one inning for the 1924 Indians, while Eddie "Sir Francis" BACON pitched one game for the 1917 Philadelphia A's. Say, he would have made a good addition to our All-Food team.

Bobby "John" LOCKE tossed for five teams over nine years mostly in the 1960's. Mark "John" DEWEY won 12 games bouncing around the National League in the early and mid 1990's. Bill "Talcott" PARSONS was a two-time 13-game-winner for the Brewers in the 1970's.

Not a bad bullpen: Steve "Michel" FOUCAULT was briefly the closer for the Texas Rangers and was once traded even-up for Willie Horton. Tom "David" HUME racked up 57 wins and 92 saves for the Reds and Phillies in the '70's and '80's.

Not sure what to make of current Atlanta Braves pitcher "Carl" JUNG Bong. Although Carl Jung with a Bong might well have developed an Eastern philosophy.

OK, I found an outfielder -- but only if you accept George W. Bush's debate-friendly definition of "philosopher" ... JESUS Alou.


Lord help us. Who's next?
Hall of Names: Philosophers Do it from the Rubber? | 11 comments | Create New Account
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Pepper Moffatt - Wednesday, July 02 2003 @ 09:00 PM EDT (#33392) #
http://economics.about.com
If Adam Smith counts as a philosopher, that should help a lot. Same with Edmund Burke.

Mike
Coach - Wednesday, July 02 2003 @ 09:04 PM EDT (#33393) #
Still laughing at Carl Jung and his Bong. Bill "Bertrand" Russell is your shortstop. Edmund Burke must have been about 170 years old when he played the colonial game as "Eddie" in the 1890's.
_Spicol - Wednesday, July 02 2003 @ 09:55 PM EDT (#33394) #
Is Roy Hobbes too much of a stretch?
_Mick - Thursday, July 03 2003 @ 12:30 AM EDT (#33395) #
Yeah, Burke ... that's good, but wouldn't our best result from that be another former ace reliever, Expo good-guy Tim Burke?

I thought about Smith, especially since he is prominently mentioned in the ongoing "Does America Suck, Philosophically Speaking?" conversation in that other thread, but I really hate it when an All-Name team turns up a Smith or Johnson or somesuch because there's no real challenge. But if we limit ourselves to ONE Smith ... hmm, Ozzie I guess? (Or sticking with our "Philosophers are Stud Pitchers" theme, maybe Big Lee Smith.)

Spicol, on Hobbes ... yeah, I actually have a published work on Hobbes from about nine careers ago, and that was one of the first names I ran through BaseballReference.com. Alas, the fictional Roy spelled his name "Hobbs."

What I'm really hoping is that someone turns up an obscure fact like Hack Wilson's real name was Plutarch or Willie McCovey's middle name was Anaximander. I can dream.
_John N. - Thursday, July 03 2003 @ 01:24 AM EDT (#33396) #


How could you forget Dick "Ayn" Rand, a catcher who posted a stellar .240/.302/.315 line in 167 PA over three seasons in the 1950s.



Perhaps I shouldn't have opened this can of worms, but I just couldn't resist ;)
_John N. - Thursday, July 03 2003 @ 01:29 AM EDT (#33397) #
Wait! I have a real one!

Alvaro E. Spinoza
Dave Till - Thursday, July 03 2003 @ 07:51 AM EDT (#33398) #
I suppose that Goose Gauss-age doesn't qualify.

I'm afraid I "Kant" think of any more.
_Andrew Edwards - Thursday, July 03 2003 @ 08:28 AM EDT (#33399) #
Head statistician: Bill "William" James

Utility infielder: Burgess "Alfred North" Whitehead

Take your pick of the any number of _______ "Charles" Taylors

1B: Alex "Cynthia" McKinnon

A stretch - "St. Augustine of" Hippo Vaughn

By the way, it's crap to suggest that American philosophy sucks. Aside from a few obvious guys like William James, there are a lot of really good American philosophers who laypeople haven't heard of, just because they aren't dead yet, or haven't been dead long.

Rorty, Rawls, and Nozick are three very obvious examples.
Craig B - Thursday, July 03 2003 @ 10:37 AM EDT (#33400) #
Andrew, LOL on St. Augustine of Hippo Vaughn.

Most of the good ones are taken now, but I'll attempt a team of some others; as a former philosophy grad student I should be able to do this.

C Homer "Donald" Davidson
1B Jim "Giovanni" Gentile
2B Billy "Nelson" Goodman
SS Jimy "Bernard" Williams
3B Buddy "C.I." Lewis
OF Dwight "Gareth" Evans
OF Shane "Herbert" Spencer
OF Phil "F.H." Bradley
DH Reggie "Thomas" Jefferson

SP Grover Cleveland "Samuel" Alexander
SP Boom-Boom "J.S." Beck
SP Eddie "Sir Francis" Bacon
SP Ryan "Benjamin" Franklin
SP Roger "Christian" Wolff
RP Bubba "Alonzo" Church
RP Mark "John" Dewey
RP Bobby "John" Locke
RP Tom "David" Hume

The owner can be Jeffrey "Achille" Loria.

My real disappointment was Freidrich von Schelling, one measly vowel away from Curt Schilling.
Craig B - Thursday, July 03 2003 @ 10:45 AM EDT (#33401) #
Also, to Andrew's plea for American philosophy (minus Rorty, please!) I'd add a few more names (some of whom I referenced in my list) - Williams, Davidson, Grice, Goodman, Dewey and Santayana... plus on a more practical level Franklin, Jefferson, Hamilton, Madison, and Jay.

More solid philosophy work has been done in the U.S., I would estimate, than in the rest of the world combined throughout the whole of history. It's hardly surprising that they should have some of the greats.
_Cristian - Thursday, July 03 2003 @ 11:28 AM EDT (#33402) #
If we need a vegetarian manager Phil "Tom" Regan is available

Another pitcher is Bill "Peter" Singer. Peter is an Aussie known for his writings on ethics. Bill was a Californian known as the Singer Throwing Machine (great nickname).

Finally, I only know this because I've written papers on utilitarianism, but if we need a centerfielder it's not that much of a stretch to call upon Bernard "Bernie" Williams.
Hall of Names: Philosophers Do it from the Rubber? | 11 comments | Create New Account
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