Well, there's always Johnny Estrada to Atlanta. Interestingly, "Johnny Estrada" is an anagram for "Trade Any Johns," which seems to be Schuerholz's only request to Ed Wade in exchange for Kevin Millwood.

For help in finding an anagram for other newly-acquired duds, try http://www.mbhs.edu/~bconnell/anagrams.html.

Old news here, but the Chris Singleton signing makes no sense whatsoever. Yes, the A's defense was lousy last year, and that brilliant play against the Red Sox notwithstanding, Terrence Long is almost as bad in the field as he at the dish. Singleton is not the answer. He won't hit .250 with the A's, and his speed won't be used. Bad move, exactly the kind the Brewers and Royals and Pirates get vilified for: small-market teams throwing millions at guys whose chief ability is to make outs. On the other side of the Bay, Marquis Grissom was a waste of $4.25 million, as well. I understand the need to have a good defensive CF at The Park Formerly Known As Pac-Bell, but there's no way he hits 20+ homers again.

The Cubs trading for Eric Karros and Mark Grudzielanek is a real puzzler, as well, even if they purged Todd Hundley in the process. I'm sure I have more, but those were my initial reactions.

Say, Mick, since I've got your attention, what would it take for you to archive my A's columns?

I'd offer Doug Glanville (707 career OPS) as the Rangers' version of Chris Singleton (747). Glanville ostensibly wasn't signed to play every day, but if Everett can't man the position adequately and/or anyone gets hurt, he'll get plenty of PAs. Given his new address, he'll hit (an empty) .285 and most people will think he's great.

This doesn't answer the original question, but regarding the Cubs questionable trade, they've also signed Lenny Harris, Charles Gipson, Tom Goodwin and Troy O'Leary. Can Shawon Dunston be far behind?

This discussion has to look at cost/reward. Oliver, as terrible as he likely will be has almost no cost to the Rockies. They cut him if he stinks. Far worse are the Perez and Grissom signings where real money was laid on the table.

Put me down for Mike Remlinger, three years at $10.5 million. For a 37-year-old who throws about 75 innings a year and may or may not be the same pitcher outside Atlanta, both the length and the dollars are unnecessary. Bracketing Remlinger on Michael Wolverton's 2002 reliever rankings are Ben Weber and Darren Holmes, demonstrating that useful relievers are not difficult to find.

Honourable mention to Ramiro Mendoza, two years at $6.5 million for an overrated, slightly-better-than-average swing man.

As for Darren Oliver in Denver, all I can do is resurrect a line from my halcyon days playing Strat-O-Matic baseball: I can't wait to see what his card looks like.

RE: Chris Singleton

I think he's Plan B for Oakland. Rule V boy Rontrez Johnson will get first crack at the job. His 1:1 BB/K ratio and .300/.397/.454 mark in AA suggest he might do something in the bigs. His age (26) is the downside.

Estrada for Millwood is the worst trade I've ever seen. That they sent Millwood to their division rivals ices the cake.

Put me down for Mike Remlinger, three years at $10.5 million.

And a first-round draft pick. Remlinger was a type A and I think the Braves offered him arbitration.

A few others:

Deivi Cruz and his career .294 OBP with Baltimore for $1.25 mill.

Royce Clayton for $1.75 mill with Milwaukee (while Jose Hernandez signed with the Rox for $800k).

Gerald Willians with Florida. Won't even earn his per-diem.

And, Rey Ordonez plus Lee Stevens plus Bob Wells plus Chris Truby plus Jay Caniziaro plus Steve Parris plus Jorge Fabregas with the Devil Rays.

Not only has Rey Ordonez been nominated as the Mario Mendoza of OPS, he's poison in the clubhouse, and numerous concentration lapses last year diminished his still-graceful fielding. I would pay him millions to stay away, so he gets my nod as the worst signing. Can't shake the image of Oliver in Coors, though. Yikes! If we're talkin' about multiple "huh?" signings by one team, Perez and Grissom can't quite match the Cubbies collection. Estrada, technically in the "worst trade ever" category, not a ML FA signing, does make Schuerholz a frontrunner for the coveted "dumbest overall move" award.

A month ago, Mick brewed up a FA all-star team in his first BB piece, and with some of those guys still available, all these transactions look pretty bad.

Singleton is Plan A, which I suppose is better than him being Plan Nine From Outer Space. There's no way the A's will pay him $2 million to be a fourth outfielder, even though that is clearly his talent level, at best. And I bet Johnson doesn't even make the squad. I have serious problems with a 26-year-old playing AA. He had better dominate that level. To me, an .861 OPS isn't dominating.

Come to think of it, if Singleton can be half as entertaining -- forget home runs and RBIs and steals -- as Plan Nine From Outer Space, he'll be worth his salary and then some.

Chris Singleton's anagram, of course, is "Chris: Leg Isn't On". That, or "Rich Gent In Loss".

He wears a Cornish singlet.

And so on.

He doesn't quite qualify, but an honourable--well, okay, not really--mention has to go to Jeffrey Hammonds.