Either my enthusiastic introduction scared you away, or nobody else thought this article as amusing as I did. With that many column inches, you would thing he could say something.

On the eve of an interesting swap meet, the Star devotes plenty of space to a description of a hotel lobby.

And Richard Griffin gives baseball fans what they want most -- his memoirs of meetings past.

Except for the gaudy Christmas displays, it's quiet in Nashville.

It's so quiet, I'm going to do something truly irresponsible: float a FanHome rumour.

The buzz is that the Blue Jays and Cubs are talking about a swap that involves Escobar and Mark Bellhorn. That's right ... the Toronto Blue A's are alive and well. This scenario envisions that both Lopez and Hudson would be dealt away, and that Bellhorn, who posted a .258/.374/.512 line in 445 ABs all over the Cubs infield last year, would play second base. His range is zilch, however, and a Woodward-Bellhorn DP combination could be an ugly thing.

Anyway, there it is --- in the absence of real news, it's something to chew on.

I thought the description of the Gaylord Opryland was hilarious. I also thought Griffin's piece was trypically self-indulgent tripe. I'm glad Geoff Baker is in Nashville so that we'll get some actual news out of the Star.

OK, I'll bite. Bellhorn is a terrific hitter with plenty of pop, and I've seen worse at 2B and 3B. He's a bargain, too. Straight up for Escobar would be fine with me, but if Hudson and Lopez are involved, I presume one or two starting pitchers will be included. Maybe two kids with comparable futures, or to balance payroll, how about Matt Clement, who always had great stuff, then matured into a pitcher last year?

Having Dave Berg back up Woodward and Bellhorn is a relatively stationary infield; they'll concede a few extra singles up the middle (and the hole between Delgado and Bellhorn is inviting) but they can all get on base.

In case Werth is overmatched and merely a spare part, and so they have the flexibility to move Cruz, I'm all in favour of adding lefty bats, like Myers. Bellhorn is just fine from that side, with the added bonus of being even more dangerous hitting right, as in an OPS of 1.069 and 10 HR in just 122 AB. I was going to settle for Mark Loretta, but like this idea even more. Here's hoping.

How do you explain just 56 RBI for a guy who hit 27 HR, 24 doubles and 4 triples? Were the other Cubs really that bad?

And Richard Griffin gives baseball fans what they want most -- his memoirs of meetings past.

As a bonus, at the end of the column were some comments on the mating habits of the Griffin. I found this very educational. I hope Animal Planet runs a documentary on this subject sometime.

How do you explain just 56 RBI for a guy who hit 27 HR, 24 doubles and 4 triples? Were the other Cubs really that bad?

Well ... Sammy Sosa led the Cubs with a .993 OPS. Bellhorn was second at .886 and McGriff followed with .821. Nobody else even cracked .760. Without Sammy, the team OBP was around .310. Why the Cubs would want to trade away their second best hitter, especially after adding stiffs like Grudzielanek and Karros, is quite beyond me.

BTW, here's the Fanhome thread that got my attention. As a friend of mine says, keep a salt cellar nearby while reading it.

I would much rather have Hudson than Bellhorn at second base for the Jays, but if it meant getting rid of Escobar and bringing in a starting pitcher making Escobar-type money in exchange for Hudson, the Jays are up on the deal. I can certainly live with Bellhorn's defense at second for a year or two if it means upgrading the pitching without spending more money.

I do worry, like Kent, about the hole on the right side of the infield. If you let your infield defense get too bad, a lot of Halladay's advantages disappear.

Recent signings to avoid arbitration, suggesting what fringe players are worth in the new market, from CNN/SI:

"Cleveland outfielder Karim Garcia got $900,000, New York Mets utilityman Joe McEwing $600,000, Colorado infielder Greg Norton $600,000 and Atlanta first baseman Wes Helms $575,000."

Chris Carpenter's deal with St. Louis has been reported both as "$500,000 guaranteed" and "$1 million," with a 2004 club option.

What's an arbitration-eligible, established player still in his 20's worth? Ed Wade and the Phillies, not exactly shy this offseason, made Randy Wolf a multi-millionaire yesterday. Four years, $22.5 M+ for a guy who's 38-38, 4.07 lifetime.

Wolf, who made $450,000 last year, was 11-9 with a 3.20 ERA, eighth-best in the NL. He gets $2.5 M in 2003, $4.25 M in 2004, $6.5 M in 2005 and an astonishing $9 M in 2006, plus a $500,000 signing bonus and incentive bonuses. He's just 26, apparently improving, and though he did have some arm trouble in 2001, stayed healthy last season. I loved Randy as a bargain pickup on my fantasy team, but in the real world, lefty starters are obscenely over-valued.

My "Collusion II" rhetoric aside, it may be a temporarily stalled market because of the Expos, but this deal confirms it isn't dead, at least in Philadelphia. The agents for Shannon Stewart and Jose Cruz Jr. must be breathing easier. Shannon's 29 in February, made $4.25 M in 2002, and has been more successful, far longer, than Wolf. Cruz, 29 in April, made $3.7 M, plays three positions -- a lot better than Stewart plays any -- and did have that tantalizing .856 OPS, 32 SB year in 2001.

Keeping in mind that in the arbitration process, "what they get" and "what they're worth" are two radically different concepts, how much will Stewart and Cruz receive this year in one-year deals (or arbitration) if, as I suspect, J.P. doesn't want to commit to "pre-emptive" long-term contracts?

Felipe Lopez to Cincinatti, Blue Jays get Jason Arnold. Less than the rumour of Arnold and John-Ford Griffin, still very interesting though. Thoughts?