Ho hum. The Jays beat up on the Athletics with good starting pitching and relieving, great defense and timely hitting. So that's what it's like!
Lets, however, turn our attention to more esoteric pursuits: baseball nicknames.
It seems every great baseball player worth his salt has a correspondingly awesome nickname.
These can range from the classy and timeless, such as Rocket (Roger Clemens), Yankee Clipper/Joltin Joe (DiMaggio), the Iron Horse (Gehrig), Stan the Man (Musial); to creative and fun ones, like the Splendid Splinter (Ted Williams), Charlie Hustle (Pete Rose), Shoeless Joe (Jackson), the Sultan of Swat (The Babe), and the Wizard of Oz(zie Smith); or the downright, well, weird: Oil Can (Dennis Ray) Boyd, Old Hoss (Charles) Radbourn, the Mad Hungarian (Al Hrabosky), the Mexicutioner (Joakim Soria) and Pronk (Travis Hafner).
Your 2008 Toronto Blue Jays have a serious dearth of awesome nicknames though. Roy Halladay has been the Doctor for as long as I can remember, playing off the connection to Wild West gunslinger Doc Holliday, as well as the pain he puts opposing hitters in. John McDonald is 'Johnny Mac', or alternatively the Minister of Defense. I like the second one better, with the allusion to our first prime minister (though Canada had a Minister of Militia and Defense until the early 1920s, which isn't quite as catchy). Gregg Zaun will be, forever in my mind, Going Going Zaun, and I remember when Brandon League actually was Hawaiian Punch Out. Vernon is putatively 'V-Dub' I suppose, but I wouldn't call that a timeless classic.
The Jays have had some good nicknames in the past as well. There was the Terminator, Ted the Tease, the Crime Dog, Sparky, Cat, and Boomer. However, the 2008 squad has a serious shortage of good nicknames. Let's see if we can remedy this, shall we? Here's a list of current Jays, with their nickname, if they indeed have one. Let's see what we can come up with.
Pitchers
Jeremy Accardo
Shawn Camp
Jesse Carlson - Bones
Scott Downs
Jason Frasor
Brandon League - Hawaiian Punch Out
B.J. Ryan
Brian Tallet - Wolverine
Roy Halladay - The Doctor
A.J. Burnett
Shaun Marcum
Dustin McGowan
John Parrish
David Purcey
Scott Richmond
Jesse Litsch
Infield
Rod Barajas -
Gregg Zaun - Going Going Zaun/GGZ
David Eckstein - Ecks-Factor
Aaron Hill - A-Ron
Joe Inglett
John McDonald - Johnny Mac/Minister of Defense
Lyle Overbay
Scott Rolen
Marco Scutaro
Outfield
Adam Lind
Kevin Mench
Alex Rios
Matt Stairs
Shannon Stewart
Vernon Wells - V-Dub
Brad Wilkerson
The Rules:
Let's try to be as original as we can here. Sean Casey is The Mayor - there can be but one. Rocket Burnett doesn't really work. Second, explain why you think a player should have the nickname you are proposing. If it's a clever play on words (System of a Downs!) then this is less necessary, but if you think Joe Inglett should be 'Bullet Joe Inglett' you need to explain your reasoning. Lastly, let's keep this clean; this is a family sight, and I'm sure we can all think up plenty of dirty 'nicknames' for Shannon Stewart without help from others.
So let's try to choose a couple of nicknames here Bauxites. Maybe Brad Wilkerson isn't deserving of one, to be sure, but if we can't find anything we'll move on. If we get a couple of good suggestions we'll rig up the fancy polling machine on the left and pick one. I for one can't wait.
So let's here 'em Bauxites.
(Hat tip to Rany Jazayerli via Rob Neyer for the idea).
For a complete list of current nicknames see here, for some good ones here.
https://www.battersbox.ca/article.php?story=20080808104446230