Spring Training Game Report 7 – Blue Jays 0, Pirates 0

Thursday, March 10 2005 @ 10:44 AM EST

Contributed by: Pepper Moffatt

This will possibly be the most pointless game report ever written, as the game was rained out. On top of that, as Dante Hicks would say "I'm not supposed to be here today!" So instead, I'll report on the spring training scores from the Classic Video Game league yesterday.

Game 1: Warlords 5 - Gorf 3.

Gorf started out with an early lead, as Gorfian Droid #3 hit a solo shot against off of the Blue Warlord. The 1-0 score would hold until the sixth inning, when the Orange Warlord hit the ball back up the middle, striking the Gorfian Flagship. A flying Gorf was summoned in from the pen, but even his unusual "subquark torpedo" windup could not stop the bleeding. The Yellow Warlord came in and notched his 5th save.

Game 2: Realsports Baseball 7 - Pete Rose Baseball 3.

Classic Video Game Commissioner Bentley Bear is looking into allegations that Mr. Rose may have bet against his own team. The only evidence so far is a number of inexplicable managerial moves, such as replacing Nick Esasky with one of the cats from Mouse Trap in the third inning.

Game 3: Mr. Do! 7 - Dig Dug 1.

In a surprising upset, the small-market Mr. Do! squadron topped the big budget Dig Duggers. The Do Run Runners exploited the weak defense of their opponents, getting several power balls past the all-Pooka infield. Dig Dug starting pitcher Fygar tried his best to beat off the strong attacks of the Alpha Monsters, but he made it obvious to all that he felt his team was letting him down:

Game 4: Sinistar 12 - Pooyan 0

I mean, c'mon. It's Sini-friggin-Star! Like he's going to lose to a team of baby pigs and a pack of sissy little wolves. Run Coward! indeed.

Game 5: Intellivision Major League Baseball 9 - Colecovision Super Action Baseball 0 (forfeit)

The Colecovision squad refused to take the field until they could get better uniforms. I don't think anyone can blame them:



A pink hat, a pink uniform top, and red pants! What colour are those socks? Fuscia? You know your uniform sucks when the 1977 San Diego Padres feel sorry for you.

Did I miss any games? It was a long day at work yesterday...

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