Sure, the Texas Rangers have a team-record five All-Stars (Alfonso Soriano, Michael Young, Hank Blalock, Kenny Rogers and Francisco Cordero) heading down the highway to Houston next week, but did you realize that another five ex-Rangers (Esteban Loiaza, Alex Rodriguez, Ivan Rodriguez, Danny Kolb and Sammy Sosa) are also headed to the midsummer classic?
Which brings us to this Very Special Afterschool Edition of Baseball's Hall of Names ... what team can boast (or, more appropriately, bemoan) of the best possible roster of players who formerly wore the uniform? The bet here is the Rangers -- wait'll you see the roster -- but speak up in defense of any other team, please.
Just one rule: the players in question must have actually played at least one game with the team.
So yes, Mike Piazza is an ex-Marlin; but no, Jeff Weaver doesn't cut it as an ex-Athletic, even though on paper he belonged to Oakland for about seven seconds. And Mike Young is no ex-Jay; he never made it out of the minors for Toronto.
Of course, traditionally the Rangers' Achilles hell (no, that's not a typo) has been starting pitching, but the Texas Exes' rotation has an awfully nice -- if somewhat elderly -- look to it. That's 200-game winner Kevin Brown fronting a rotation that also could include ageless 20-game winner Jamie Moyer, former 19-game winner Aaron Sele, John Thomson, Wilson Alvarez, Doug Davis and Ismael Valdez. Oh, and a fella by the name of Esteban Loaiza brings two All-Star Game appearances to the party.
The back of the bullpen -- well, what pitching coach wouldn't salivate at the idea of All-Star Danny Kolb and former All-Star Mike Stanton setting up Ugueth Urbina? Just imagine if Robb Nen were healthy enough to play on this team! In Nen's absence, Esteban Yan, Dan Miceli and Danny Patterson, all with experience as closers, are around to handle some of the short-inning work.
In between that rotation and the anchors at the end of the game, a mish-mash of Todd Van Poppel, Jeff Fassero, Al Levine, Darren Oliver, Matt Perisho, Aaron Fultz, Rob Bell and Justin Duchscherer can fill in during those times a Valdez is torched or a Sele feels an elbow twinge.
The pitching staff would look even better if former Ranger farmhands and camp fodder Ryan Dempster, Glendon Rusch, Aaron Harang and Luis Vizcaino, or even unsigned draft choice Barry Zito, were eligible for the roster of the Texas Exes, but rules is rules.
Other former Little Tex farmhands who might punch up this roster under different rules include utilityman Jason Grabowski, outfielder and prototypical scrappy leadoff guy Scott Podsednik, and former All-Star shortstop Rich Aurilia.
If we really stretched the rules, the Rangers of Billy Martin's days of yore produced three pretty good offspring in Sean (Jeff) Burroughs, David (Buddy) Bell and Ben (Tom) Grieve -- while Grieve grew up down the road from old Arlington Stadium, along with guys like Vernon Wells, Torii Hunter, Kerry Wood and Todd Ritchie. But again ... rules is rules.
And something tells me this lineup isn't going to need much help from tweaking any rules.
Let's start behind the dish. Todd Greene, check. Doug Mirabelli, nice player. Einar Diaz, uh-huh. Gregg Zaun, having a great year by his standards. And, oh by the way, arguably the greatest catcher ever to play the game ... Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez. The so-called tools of ignorance are quite a strong point for this team.
Over to first base. David Segui, check. Travis Hafner, nice young player. Carlos Pena, gonna be great. Julio Franco, still going strong at the age of 62. Todd Zeile, handy bat off the bench. And, oh by the way, future Hall of Famer and soon to be the third member of the 3,000-hit, 600-homer club, Rafael Palmeiro. Nice options there.
Now, granted, the rest of the infield might be a bit of a crapshoot -- except there's a guy named Alex Rodriguez more than happy to move back to shortstop where he once again supplants a useful but "face it, he's not A-Rod" Royce Clayton.
Frank Catalanotto will hit, so shut your eyes as he plays second and hopes Pena (or Palmeiro) and Rodriguez can get to a whole lot more than he can. Mike Lamb isn't an ideal everyday third baseman, but supersub Mark McLemore is around to back up both those animals, Cat and Lamb.
Defense in the outfield corners will look a little like the aforementioned defense at second base -- as fielders, these boys sure can hit! That's about a thousand career home runs with Sammy Sosa in right and Juan Gonzalez in left. Chasing down everything in the alleys could fall (literally) to Gabe Kapler, Tom Goodwin, Todd Hollandsworth, Doug Glanville ... who knows?
Carl Everett, Ruben Sierra and Shane Spencer are among the potential big bats off the bench -- sorry, Everett doesn't have the chops to play CF any more -- while Craig Monroe, Marcus Thames, Ruben Mateo, Chris Magruder and Ricky Ledee make up the "hey, weren't these guys supposed to be stars?" contingent of this team.
So here's your starting lineup and 25-man roster:
1. Frank Catalanotto, 2B
2. Pudge Rodriguez, C
3. Alex Rodriguez, SS
4. Sammy Sosa, RF
5. Juan Gonzalez, LF
6. Rafael Palmeiro, DH
7. Carlos Pena, 1B
8. Mike Lamb, 3B
9. Doug Glanville, CF
Bench
C Gregg Zaun (nod to Jays fans)
Utility Mark McLemore
IF Royce Clayton
OF Gabe Kapler
PH Ruben Sierra
Rotation: RLRLR
SP Kevin Brown
SP Jamie Moyer
SP Esteban Loiaza
SP Doug Davis
SP John Thomson
Bullpen
CL Ugueth Urbina
RP Danny Kolb
RP Mike Stanton
RP Aaron Fultz
RP Darren Oliver
RP Wilson Alvarez
Top that, Toronto. Match that, Montreal. Hmm, wait a minute -- Montreal. Actually, a rotation starting with Randy Johnson and Pedro Martinez fronting a lineup with Vladimir Guerrero in the heart of the order just might match up with the Texas Exes. But would Urbina close for both teams?
https://www.battersbox.ca/article.php?story=20040707122924999