Breaking News ... Da Box has learned that the illegitimate love child of George Steinbrenner and Georgia Frontiere (named Georgie, of course) has been granted a new major league franchise that will be located in Alexandria, Va., and play part of its home schedule in Portland, Ore.; Brooklyn, N.Y.; and of course, San Juan, P.R.
To stock the roster of the new team, the blank-check-driven Georgie will sign the following roster of 25 non-tendered players. "I could've built an entire second team of 25 that'd win the freaking A.L. Central," said Frontbrenner. "But I'll leave that to the wise contributors to various baseball blogs around the Internet."
Here's the starting lineup ...
STARTING LINEUP
C Ivan Rodriguez
1B Rafael Palmeiro
2B Roberto Alomar
SS Rich Aurilia
3B Tony Batista
LF Jose Guillen
CF Mike Cameron
RF Vladimir Guerrero
DH Juan Gonzalez
As if that lineup needed any help -- well, the shortstop and DH are injury-prone, and some of the other guys are a bit long in the tooth, true -- how about the versatility of this bench?
BENCH
C Benito Santiago
IF Todd Walker
IF Mark McLemore
OF Jose Cruz Jr
You might think that such an offensive juggernaut would have no pitching. While this rotation isn't exactly the 1995 Braves, it has a hall of famer at the front, two lefties, and two of the most sought-after starters of the last year:
ROTATION
SP Greg Maddux
SP Sidney Ponson
SP Kenny Rogers
SP Miguel Batista
SP Darren Oliver
So the rotation is old in a way that makes the lineup look young. OK. But we only need five or six innings from each guy with this bullpen -- we even made room for a traditional "closer."
BULLPEN
RP Jeff Nelson
RP Arthur Rhodes
RP Kerry Ligtenberg
RP Scott Sullivan
RP Graeme Lloyd
CL Ugueth Urbina
Commissioner This Bud's For Me could not be reached for additional comment.
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