Batter's Box Interactive Magazine - A Dominion-Ative Team

138 years ago today -- well, right now, I think -- the British North America Act recognized the Dominion of Canada. And what better way to honour those drunken louts in Sir John A's first cabinet than a Hall of Names article?

But wait, there's a twist here...

...on July 4, resident Hall of Names Big Shot Mick Doherty (sorry, Dr. Mick Doherty, D.HoN) will unveil the Fourth of July Hall of Names team based on the signers of the Declaration of Independence. And we'll just see if this Canadian perspective on baseball could beat the John Hancock squad.

Now, I don't know of an exact match for that for the Canadians among us, so let's take our names from the delegates at the Québec Conference of October 1864, a key meeting in the creation of this country. If you would like to try and improve the team (which, I'm telling you, isn't that great), follow that link for the names used in this article.

We start things off with the delegates from the then-Province of Canada, also known as Upper and Lower Canada, or the present-day Southern Ontario and Québec. There were 12 of them but...sorry, George-Étienne, as much as we love Gary Carter, we're only taking exact matches. And with a dozen names, there are only three matches. Good thing they include a switch-hitting Hall of Fame pitcher, then!

The New Brunswickers are better, yielding the only Yankee pitcher to win the MVP, the 1989 NL MVP, a guy who might hit worse than Ken Huckaby and the 1965 AL leader in WHIP. Oh, and Randy Johnson. Nova Scotia gives us a Yankee catcher not named Elston or Yogi, but that's about it for now. Prince Edward Island? How about a Hall of Famer nicknamed "Cakes"? And our centre fielder while you're at it -- much thanks. Newfoundland were only there as observers, but we'll take them. Why? They give us the aforemaligned Gary Carter, though he has to move to 1B to make room.

Also, current Minister of Defence John McDonald does make the team, but only because there were two Macdonalds at the conference and only three Macdonalds in MLB history. Otherwise, I'd have to invoke the Carter-Cartier rule.

Okay, I'm just about at the end now and we don't have much of a lineup. So, I'm breaking a rule that gives us two hitters...and check out the symmetry here! I'll break the last-names-only rule and take William Alexander Henry for Henry Aaron. Also, one of the Newfie delegates gives us an All-Star third baseman.

So, what's the connection? Well, if this All-Star third baseman doesn't fall off a cliff in the next few days, a man named for Hank Aaron gets a free T-shirt.

Now, we have a five-man rotation and a three-man bullpen, so we can only play a short series. In fact, we're just missing a second baseman for the lineup, so we need to put faith in an 1884 outfielder. Call it taking the easy way out. (It's not as bad as Mick's miserable rat Sesame Street cheat to get to get the All-Time Single Season Home Run King on his team, though. I won't even link to it, it was that bad.)

It's Friday today, but for those Sunday drivers, here are the

CANADA DAY TRIPPERS.
** Hall of Famer
* All-Star

MGR: Bill Dickey**

LINEUP
C Bill Dickey** (.313 career hitter, played 17 seasons in pinstripes)
1B Gary Carter** (324 career HR and if you don't know who he is, go away)
2B John Tilley (he never played the infield, but anyone who played for the St. Paul Apostles should be able to do anything)
SS John McDonald (a worse hitter than Russ Adams)
3B Shea Hillenbrand* (.322 career OBP through 2004, still above .350)
LF Kevin Mitchell* (.284, 234 homers)
CF Dave Pope (.265/.317/.390, 12 career HR, 1952-56)
RF Hank Aaron** (Yeah, him)

ROTATION
RHSP Mordecai "Three Finger" Brown** (239-130 over 14 years, 138 career ERA+)
LHSP Randy Johnson* (do you really need me to write anything here?)
RHSP Jim Palmer** (2.86 career ERA with Baltimore in 19 years)
LHSP Ted Gray* (played for four teams in 1955)
RHSP Spud Chandler* (109 wins in 211 games, 2.84 career ERA)

BULLPEN
CL-R Eddie Fisher* (0.97 WHIP and All-Star in 1965)
RHRP Bob Macdonald (middle reliever who went 8-9, 3 saves in parts of six years)
LONG-R Bill Campbell* (mainly a reliever, decent numbers with the Twins and Red Sox in the 70's)

I predict Mick's team will beat the crap out of this one. Especially with respect to the name -- he didn't resort to a Beatles song.

Your thoughts, Bauxites? (Joe Carter over Gary Carter, perhaps?)

Posted by Rob on Friday, July 01 2005 @ 12:00 AM EDT.

A Dominion-Ative Team | 11 comments | Create New Account

The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.

Magpie - Friday, July 01 2005 @ 07:30 AM EDT (#121206) #

I think I would put Willie McGee in CF, no?

Magpie - Friday, July 01 2005 @ 07:34 AM EDT (#121207) #

And let's add Darnell Coles as a multi-position bench guy. And, sure, the bullpen's a little light. But Eddie Fisher threw a knuckleball, so we can abuse him as we need to.

Mick Doherty - Friday, July 01 2005 @ 10:03 AM EDT (#121217) #

In fairness, let's be clear ... I did not cheat on the, uh, fourthcoming July 4 team ... there was an actual All-Sesame Street team a while back, which I am clearly proud enough to link to.

That's entirely different, of course, than cheating to get someone like Aaron on the squad of a serious memorial HoN team like All-Canada Day. For shame, sir. For shame.

Rob - Friday, July 01 2005 @ 12:22 PM EDT (#121233) #

How could I forget Willie McGee? That's almost as insulting to Thomas Darcy McGee as the mere mention of Patrick J. Whelan.

Darnell Coles, sure. Actually, we could put him at second base. If Cecil can play there, Coles sure can. 336 games at third, 18 at short...yeah, he can handle second.

Mick Doherty - Friday, July 01 2005 @ 03:43 PM EDT (#121253) #

Dude, I can't believe I didn't notice this before, but, uh, where's your *bench*? If you're going to insist on again being a lying stinking cheater and putting Coles at 2B where he never ever played in his whole life (And if you ever sat behind 1B while he played 3B, you wouldn't assume he could handle 2B) ...then you have Tilley and Pope (beat out by McGee) to start your banch. Since you didn't use a DH (Coles?) you could go with a seven-man bench. I usually use a DH and a six-man bench: C IF IF OF OF UTIL with some variance depending on who's available (preferably with one of the IF a corner guy and the other a middle guy.)

No bench? Indeed, your guys will get quite tired! By the way, your rotation is way, way better than mine, though I still think in a longer series, the sheer talent in the other roster areas would tilt the series to USA! USA!

Mike Green - Friday, July 01 2005 @ 03:50 PM EDT (#121257) #

If Henry Aaron is inadmissible, then Bill Henry would make a fine addition to the relief corps.

Mick Doherty - Friday, July 01 2005 @ 04:25 PM EDT (#121260) #

Good point, Mike. I was thinking Doug Henry, who had 82 career saves himself, but Bill had more than 90, was an All-Star -- and a lefty, to boot. All pluses. And that's a mighty short three-man pen, especially for a team with no bench!

Mike Green - Friday, July 01 2005 @ 04:56 PM EDT (#121265) #

There were two Grays at the meeting. So, you've got the choice of Dolly Gray for the pitching staff or Gary Gray for the bench.

Mick Doherty - Friday, July 01 2005 @ 06:22 PM EDT (#121272) #

Yup, that's one of the rules I took advantage of in building the USA team coming Monday.

Looking back, only four Grays made the A Complete Lack of Colour Hall of Names team waybackwhen, but in looking at those guys, I think Dolly is probably a better choice for the pitching staff than Ted anyway -- Dolly won more than 100 career games.

Nolan found a Negro Leagues C named Gray, details in the comments to that same thread. And of course, a shout-out to Pete Gray, the one-armed outfielder of legend with the SLB.

Rob - Friday, July 01 2005 @ 07:22 PM EDT (#121276) #

The lack of bench is somewhat explained by the lack of a fourth reliever.

Well, not really.

See, that's why Mick does these articles.

Mick Doherty - Friday, July 01 2005 @ 07:36 PM EDT (#121277) #

What, because I'm gifted at finding the spare who went 3-for-22 for the 1913 Red Sox to fill the middle infielder role on my bench?

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