And look how far weve come
So far from where we used to be
But not so far that weve forgotten
How it was before
-- Neil Diamond, "September Morn"
That's right, it's that time again ... with absolutely no apologies whatsoever to Neil Diamond (after all, he never apologized for that "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" duet with Barbra Streisand) , we're pleased to introduce the Batter's Box All-September team
it's a squad made up entirely of players born in the ninth month of the year, the month named for the number seven. Unfortunately, of Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris, that other famous pairing of the numbers 7 and 9, only Roger* was born in September.
And alas, unlike players honored in and by other recent months, there is no September equivalent to Don August, June Greene or Lee May in the annals of baseball history. We mourn this inability to play with a name like Julio Franco's, which led to the naming of the July Franks team a few months back; and because we mourn it, we have our team name the September Morns. (Different spelling, I know; it plays to the song lyrics above, and I figured you Canadians could slip the missing "u" into the word "color" somewhere down the line.)
In case you missed it:
All-February || All-June || All-July || All-August
September's All-Hall Team
We'll start by using a precedent established with the February team and look at the Hall of Famers born in September. Sorry to use a technical term, but there's no other way to say it there are simply a crapload of September baby Hall of Famers, compared to other months we've looked at 26, to be exact, if you allow for the fact that Randy Johnson, Rafael Palmeiro and Mike Piazza are all locks to get in and Ryne Sandberg damn well better someday.
Palmeiro, he of the not-so-certain-future-any-more 3,000 hits and 600 home runs, is joined by fellow September Hall first sackers Buck Leonard, primarily a Negro League legend, George "Highpockets" Kelly, who had nearly 1800 hits in 16 19th-century seasons, mostly with Cincinnati and the New York Baseball Giants; Frank Chance of Tinker-to-Evers-to fame; and the "Baby Bull," controversial recent Hall selection Orlando Cepeda.
There's some eye-popping talent at the keystone, as Joe Morgan just don't let him near a television booth is joined by Sandberg, Nap Lajoie, Frankie Frisch; and Yankee anti-hero Bill Mazeroski, probably better known to the kids these days as a magazine publisher (the proper response to 'the magazine guy?" is "yes, and Paul McCartney was in a band before 'Wings'").
Shortstop is a bit thinner, as perhaps the weakest member of the Hall in Cooperstown history, Scooter Rizzuto, is around to back up a youngster named Yount y'all might have heard of; the latter was a pretty fair outfielder in his time, too. Frisch and Lajoie each saw some spot time at short as well.
Unless you count Frisch, who played all over the infield, there was really only one Hall of Fame third baseman born in September (given the paucity of third sackers in the Hall, we're bound to eventually run into a month where there were none) but his name was Michael Jack Schmidt, so we're covered okay.
As mentioned, Yount could play center field, but fpr this team, we need him to slide over to left so the third-best center fielder in both the major leagues (sorry, Richie Ashburn) and third-best in New York during his prime, Edwin "Duke" Snider can roam center; the right fielder is Jim O'Rourke, who had more than 2600 hits from 1872-1893 (and made a Minnie Minoso-esque big league cameo at age 53 in 1904) while playing all nine positions; but more than half of his games were in the great cow pastures of the day.
The versatility of O'Rourke (who played a couple hundred games each at C, 1B, 3B, appeared at 2B and SS even pitched six games with a 4.12 ERA), Yount, Frisch and the bat of RHSP Bob Lemon, there's no real need for an extended bench on this team and good thing, too, 'cause there ain't one.
No bullpen, either, bit that's a completely unnecessary luxury for a team where the sixth-best starting pitcher, Al Spalding yes, THAT "Spalding" completed 259 of 292 starts, winning 232 of them in a five-year span. Spalding, who also rides the pine as having played every position besides catcher in his career, with an OPS+ of 116 in nearly 2000 at-bats is ahead of Lemon on this nearly-all-RHP staff, and also ahead of Waite Hoyt, who won 231 games for the Yankees; but he falls in line behind names like Kid Nichols, who strung together seven 30-win seasons in a career in which he rang up 362 total victories, the Large Unit, who by the time he's done will have more strikeouts than anyone in history not named "Ryan," Robin Roberts, Gaylord Perry (Perry and Roberts can trade scuffing tips in the dugout) and Rube Foster, whose HOF plaque refers to him as "A player, manager, owner, commissioner and unsurpassed visionary," who founded the Negro National League.
The All-September All-Hall team, then:
MGR Tom Lasorda
C Mike Piazza
1B Rafael Palmeiro
2B Joe Morgan
SS Phil Rizzuto
3B Mike Schmidt
LF Robin Yount
CF Duke Snider
RF Jim O'Rourke
DH Frankie Frisch
Bench: O'Rourke is the backup catcher
RHSP Kid Nichols
LHSP Randy Johnson
RHSP Robin Roberts
RHSP Gaylord Perry
RHSP Rube Foster
RHSP Bob Lemon
RHSP Waite Hoyt
RHSP Al Spalding
Sidebar: September's All-in-the-Family Notes
There have been enough Bells in major league history, that you're bound to stumble across one every other month or so; sure enough, David "Son of Buddy, grandson of Gus" Bell came along in September -- too bad that's as close as dad ever got to a pennant race. One of second-gen Bell's Texas teammates, Jeff Burroughs, also had a son in September you know him as Sean the Many-Injured Padre. At least one "dad half" of a father/son combo, Dick "father of Robb" Nen, was born in September. And then there are the brothers.
Remember Dave "older brother of Steve" Sax? Another older brother, Frank Manush, only had a cup of coffee as a third baseman for the '08 A's, but at least he didn't get stuck with the nickname of his future Hall-of-Fame brother, 18 years his junior, Henry "Heinie" Manush. Ken Forsch, born in September, was 114-113 in his career, and made an All-Star game; brother Bob never made an All-Star team, but probably wouldn't trade his 169-136 record or World Series game victory for the experience; the Forsches are also the only brothers to each hurl a no-hitter in the big legues (yeah., I thought the either the Perrys or Deans had, too, but looked it up nope.)
The most notable family connection is how would you like to be oldest and get stuck with this moniker the other other Dimaggio. Not Joe, not Dom Vince, who incidentally was an All-Star in his own right, hitting between 13 and 21 homers in eight of his first nine seasons and flashing the Dimaggio family leather. And finally, Jeremy Giambi Little G just slides in under October's tag, born on September 30
Sidebar: All-September Trivia Question
This is my dad's favorite Yankee trivia question. What September baby (OK, I added that part) is the only New York Yankee first baseman to lead the league in home runs as a Yankee? Hints: Lou Gehrig was born in June; Jason Giambi in May, as was Chris Chambliss; Moose Skowron in December; Joe Pepitone in October; the inimitable Wally Pipp (not a slugger, but you were running out of Yankee 1B you could name, right?) in February.
The only New York Yankee 1B ever to lead the American League in home runs was the immortal Nick Etten, who hit 22 bombs about a quarter of his career total in 1944, during the heart of World War II. Vern Stephens was the only other Senior Circuit player to reach 20 that year, while Ted Williams was flying fighter planes and Hank Greenberg was similarly engaged with the Greatest Generation. Sure, the season leadership might carry an asterisk, but Etten was a legitimate All-Star that year, not only leading the league in homers, but pulling the Barry Bonds double by also leading the league in walks, with 97 (admittedly, about a month's work for Barry), and putting together an OPS of .865, good for fourth in the league that year and good for an OPS+ of 144, roughly equivalent to Sammy Sosa's 1999 63-homer season (141 OPS+).
September's Left Coast
So virtually every Hall of Fame pitcher born in September threw from the right side? No problem. Let's take a look at the staff we could put together of "Regular Joes" guys who were stars, even All-Stars, but are in no danger of getting into Cooperstown without paying admission. For the sake of "balance," we will limit this staff to all leftiesexcept for one righty, the mirror image of the All-Hall staff. There's good reason to do so.
If you have a kid in September, put a ball in his left hand early (of course, that's sound pension-investment advice any time of the year). The parents of these guys did just that: lefty starter Harvey Haddix, author of the single greatest game ever pitched; Gene Bearden, who won 20 games for the 1948 AL champion Indians,. Southpaw Mickey "the original tub of goo" Lolich, who won 219 games and three more in the 1968 World Series, was a September baby; so were active lefties Denny Neagle and Mike Hampton. If you never saw only-a-lefty Jim Abbott pitch, you're poorer for missing the experience; he's another Septlefty, as is new double-digit winner Doug Davis, late of the Toronto rotation. Two guys who share the pedigree (in reverse of each other) of closing for both the Reds and the Mets, lefties Johnny Franco and Randy Myers, were Septlefties. Just a Lolich was, another Septflefty took home World Series MVP honors Johnny Podres, who can double as this team's pitching coach.
With that kind of lefty talent, who's the sole righty on the team? Urban "Red" Faber, who racked up 254 wins for the White Sox? Orel Hershiser, who gets extra bonus points for graduating from athletic powerhouse Bowling Green State University? Spud Chandler, with a career mark of 109-43, and the only Yankee pitcher ever to capture league MVP honors? Wade Miller? Rick Wise? (Wise and Hampton these pitchers can hit, boy) Larry Dierker, who could also manage? Maybe we should bring in a right-handed complement to Franco and Myers to build a new version of the Nasty Boys but with Myers playing himself, and Franco cast as Norm Charlton, who gets the part of Dibble? Jason Isringhausen has the right demeanor for it, but it only seems "right" to go with still another ex-Reds closer; Jeff Russell started in Cinti, but had exactly zero of his 186 career saves there. Jeff Russell, meanwhile, had 88 saves with the Reds, more than half of his career total of 172, and half of those, 44, came in one All-Star season, 1996.
The Rest of the Guys
There's plenty of additional non-Hall talent with sapphire birthstones; consider the following
Behind the plate, defensive stalwart Rick Dempsey is backed up by Andujar candidate Rod Barajas. Our first basemen have big-time nicknames (in oine case, literally) in Big Klu (Ted Kluszewski) and Nick the Stick (Nick Johnson), while Eddie Waitkus, purportedly the model for Roy Hobbs in The Natural, also arrived in September.
September's been good to Cooperstown second basemen, as we've seen, but the likes of Eddie Stanky, Jerry Coleman, Bobby Wine (from our originl All-Food team), Johnny Pesky and Rex Hudler probably shouldn't hold their breaths waiting for the phone call. But hey, Coleman and the Wonder Dog could make a fine, if eccentric broadcasting team in the radio booth.
At shorstop, Rich Aurilia used to be good, and Carlos Guillen is turning into an "oh, that's why he was in the Randy Johnson trade" answer, while Hubie Brooks was once a Mets shortstop prospect sort of like Kevin Mitchell was.
At the hot corner we hve one of the first big-name free agents (and first big free agent busts) of the 1970's, Eric Soderholm, as well as John Gizzi favorite Jeff Cirillo and former Expo great Tim Wallach.
The outfield is replete the Gold Glove talent imagine Rick Manning flanked by Garry Maddox and Joe Rudi! That's reason enough to keep the DH tag on the first Blue Jay ever to compete in the All-Star Weekend Home Run Contest Rico Carty. Speaking of oufielders who are fine DH candidates, Ellis Burks is around; so is Vince Coleman; put Coleman in center, flanked by Burks in left and Carty in right, and we'll have a fine start to a team for which former Boston hurler John Butcher would be the mascot. And the guy who has to DH for that team? The abosolutely brutal Rob Deer, who recently went 1-for-5 with a 900-foot homer and struck out four times in his beer league slo-pitch softball debut. People forget that Kenny "Hawk" Harrelson was an excellent, All-Star caliber outfielder before turning into Barney the lovable purple General Manager. Kevin Millar first Cowboyed Up in September, while Dixie Walker had more than 2000 career hits. Then there's that Maris guy we mentioned before to go all Nick Etten on you, he's the only Yankee outfielder ever to win back-to-back MVP awards other than Mantle, which in a way, defines Maris' career.
As for managers, if we don't get all the sound baseball decisions we need from Kevin Kennedy, well, surely you all recognize Carlos Tosca over there?
September's All Non-Hall Team
C Rick Dempsey
1B Ted Kluszewski
2B Johnny Pesky
SS Rich Aurilia
3B Tim Wallach
LF Joe Rudi
CF Garry Maddox
RF Roger Maris
DH Rico Carty
Bench: Rod Barajas, Hubie Brooks, Eddie Waitkus, Rex Hudler, Vince Coleman, Jeff Cirillo
LHSP Mickey Lolich
LHSP Miek Hampton
LHSP Harvey Haddix
LHSP Johnny Podres
LHSP Jim Abbott
LHRP Randy Myers
RHRP Jeff Russell
LHRP Johnny Franco
LHRP Gene Bearden
LHRP Doug Davis
Sidebar: September's Kids and Jays
So we've been talking about "September babies," but to take that to the next level, what about the kids active today who just might make an All-September team in 2015? Would you like to start your team with Rickie Weeks and Jason Bay, with a dash of Joel Pineiro and Mark Prior to pitch? And hey, there's Rocco Baldelli, proving that September 25 must be the feast day of whoever's the patron saint of Italian ballplayers; he shares that birthday with Rizzuto. Holy Cow!
Looking for some Jay connections? Sure, plenty of ex-and current Jays have been born in September, with Box favorite Dave Berg leading a squad that includes the greatness of Doyle "John Smoltz who?" Alexander, Joey Hamilton, Ed Sprague, Dennis Lamp, Paul Spoljaric and Dave Weathers ;and let's nod to our Quebecois neighbors and recognize that the best of all these among September babies was Expo all-timer Warren Cromartie.
September Sighs?
We're getting near the end, so breathe a Cy of Relief (and no, that doesn't refer to Eric Gagne) ... Looking at some of the people who put "Names" into the Box's Baseball's Hall of Names, let's start by noting the oddity that there are FIVE guys named "Cy" born in September. Unfortunately for our pitching staff, none are named "Young." Instead, LHSP Cy Miller, RHSP Cy Ferry and RHRP Cy Pieh (I don't know if that rhymes or not; it sounds like a dessert from Roger Clemens' inevitable restaurant in Houston. "After you've wolfed down a plateful of Baby Bac-K-K-K Ribs, try a slice of Cy pie this week's special is the Piazza pie, rhubarb-flavored!") combined for a career record of 23-20, falling just 488-296 shy of Young's mark. Meanwhile, Cy Rheam plaed some 2B, 3B and OF for the 1894-1895 Pittsburgh Rebels, and Cy Neighbors snuck into one game as an outfielder for the 1908 Pittsburgh Pirates. Pirates, Rebels what's with Pittsburgh, anyway? Ben Roethlisberger will be fine, guys.
Some other sapphire-quality September names:
Many of you might remembe the immortal Drungo La Rue Hazewood, who had a cuppajoe with the 1980 Orioles; all of you certainly remember Marvelous Marv Throneberry, who paved the way for Bob Uecker to make a career of his lousy baseball career. RHSP Sandy Consuegra, had an All-Star 16-3 season for the 1954 White Sox, but not much else of note; RHRP Gordon Maltzberger finally made the show at age 30 in 1943, and rode his WWII-revived career through 1947. LHRP Harry Hedgpeth made it into one game for the '13 Senators, who recently clinched their third straight AL Central championship.
Imagine what Mike Myers the comedian, not the Boston LOOGY could do with Shags Horan, who threw in 22 games for the 1924 Yankees '34 NYY; can we start writing jokes about Shags meeting up with Hooks Wilts, who began as an oufielder for the 1904 Baseball Giants, but who spent 357 of his 607 big league games on the mound. Abner "don't call me Doubleday" Dalrymple played twelve years of outfield in the 19th century, mostly for the Cubs, while Icehouse Wilson was hitless in one pinch-hit at-bat for the 1934 Motor City Kitties.
The leader of any All-Names team has to be the greatness of former Yankee shortstop Mickey Klutts, while September hs also brought us the likes of Ambrose Puttman, who had six career wins compiled across three consecutve two-victory seasons LHRP Hilly Hathaway, who sounds 19th century, but who pitched for the 1992-93 Angels, while Torontonians can grin at the name of 1960's RHRP Cisco Carlos, imagining a cross between former pitching coach Galen Cisco and former skipper Carlos Tosca.
Both Slow Joe Doyle and Speed Martin were born in September. Insert your own joke here, please. Harry Easterday is a guy who should've made our "All-Holiday" team, right up there with Steve Christmas, way back when.
Finally, OF Heinie Groh was a September baby; given the presence of Mr. Manush on this squad, what are the odds that one month would produce five Cys and two Heinies? (Again, insert your own joke here.) Actually, the odds aren't bad. There have been 34 Cys and 22 Heinies in MLB history, which statistically would break down to 2.83 Cys and 1.83 Heinies per month on average. Speaking of Heinie Groh (say it out loud and wait for it). let's point out that September is also the birth month not only of Lolich, but of both the great Calvin Pickering and two-games-for the-1895-Brooklyn-Bridegrooms Hunkey Hines.
And what about LHRP Jennings "Jinx" Poindexter, who was 0-2 for '36 Dodgers and '39 Phils, or Gorman Heimueller who was 3-6 for the 1983-84 Oakland club; George Anderson not Sparky, though was a weak-hitting OF for the Brooklyn Tip-Tops near the turn of the last century.
Finally, catcher Harry Chozen backstopped for one game in Cincinnati in 1937; we can only hope that he was assigned the uniform number 1. Then as he stepped to the plate, Handel's "Messiah" blaring from the rickety Crosley Field sound system, his back would read "Chozen 1."
Finally, we do seem obligated by pattern of past months to produce one overarching
The All-September Team
MGR Tom Lasorda
Coaches: Kevin Kennedy, Carlos Tosca, Larry Dierker
LINEUP
Joe Morgan, 2B
Frankie Frisch, DH
Duke Snider, CF
Mike Schmidt, 3B
Roger Maris, RF
Mike Piazza, C
Raffy Palmeiro, 1B
Robin Yount, LF
Phil Rizzuto, SS
BENCH
C Rick Dempsey
COR Tim Wallach
MID Johnny Pesky
OF Joe Rudi
UTIL Jim O'Rourke
ROTATION
RHP Kid Nichols
LHP Randy Johnson
RHP Gaylord Perry
RHP Robin Roberts
LHP Mickey Lolich
BULLPEN
LHP Randy Myers CL
RHP Jeff Russell SET
LHP Johnny Franco SET
LHP Johnny Podres LOOGY
RHP Bob Lemon MID
RHP Waite Hoyt LONG/SWING
So far from where we used to be
But not so far that weve forgotten
How it was before
-- Neil Diamond, "September Morn"
That's right, it's that time again ... with absolutely no apologies whatsoever to Neil Diamond (after all, he never apologized for that "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" duet with Barbra Streisand) , we're pleased to introduce the Batter's Box All-September team
it's a squad made up entirely of players born in the ninth month of the year, the month named for the number seven. Unfortunately, of Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris, that other famous pairing of the numbers 7 and 9, only Roger* was born in September.
And alas, unlike players honored in and by other recent months, there is no September equivalent to Don August, June Greene or Lee May in the annals of baseball history. We mourn this inability to play with a name like Julio Franco's, which led to the naming of the July Franks team a few months back; and because we mourn it, we have our team name the September Morns. (Different spelling, I know; it plays to the song lyrics above, and I figured you Canadians could slip the missing "u" into the word "color" somewhere down the line.)
In case you missed it:
All-February || All-June || All-July || All-August
September's All-Hall Team
We'll start by using a precedent established with the February team and look at the Hall of Famers born in September. Sorry to use a technical term, but there's no other way to say it there are simply a crapload of September baby Hall of Famers, compared to other months we've looked at 26, to be exact, if you allow for the fact that Randy Johnson, Rafael Palmeiro and Mike Piazza are all locks to get in and Ryne Sandberg damn well better someday.
Palmeiro, he of the not-so-certain-future-any-more 3,000 hits and 600 home runs, is joined by fellow September Hall first sackers Buck Leonard, primarily a Negro League legend, George "Highpockets" Kelly, who had nearly 1800 hits in 16 19th-century seasons, mostly with Cincinnati and the New York Baseball Giants; Frank Chance of Tinker-to-Evers-to fame; and the "Baby Bull," controversial recent Hall selection Orlando Cepeda.
There's some eye-popping talent at the keystone, as Joe Morgan just don't let him near a television booth is joined by Sandberg, Nap Lajoie, Frankie Frisch; and Yankee anti-hero Bill Mazeroski, probably better known to the kids these days as a magazine publisher (the proper response to 'the magazine guy?" is "yes, and Paul McCartney was in a band before 'Wings'").
Shortstop is a bit thinner, as perhaps the weakest member of the Hall in Cooperstown history, Scooter Rizzuto, is around to back up a youngster named Yount y'all might have heard of; the latter was a pretty fair outfielder in his time, too. Frisch and Lajoie each saw some spot time at short as well.
Unless you count Frisch, who played all over the infield, there was really only one Hall of Fame third baseman born in September (given the paucity of third sackers in the Hall, we're bound to eventually run into a month where there were none) but his name was Michael Jack Schmidt, so we're covered okay.
As mentioned, Yount could play center field, but fpr this team, we need him to slide over to left so the third-best center fielder in both the major leagues (sorry, Richie Ashburn) and third-best in New York during his prime, Edwin "Duke" Snider can roam center; the right fielder is Jim O'Rourke, who had more than 2600 hits from 1872-1893 (and made a Minnie Minoso-esque big league cameo at age 53 in 1904) while playing all nine positions; but more than half of his games were in the great cow pastures of the day.
The versatility of O'Rourke (who played a couple hundred games each at C, 1B, 3B, appeared at 2B and SS even pitched six games with a 4.12 ERA), Yount, Frisch and the bat of RHSP Bob Lemon, there's no real need for an extended bench on this team and good thing, too, 'cause there ain't one.
No bullpen, either, bit that's a completely unnecessary luxury for a team where the sixth-best starting pitcher, Al Spalding yes, THAT "Spalding" completed 259 of 292 starts, winning 232 of them in a five-year span. Spalding, who also rides the pine as having played every position besides catcher in his career, with an OPS+ of 116 in nearly 2000 at-bats is ahead of Lemon on this nearly-all-RHP staff, and also ahead of Waite Hoyt, who won 231 games for the Yankees; but he falls in line behind names like Kid Nichols, who strung together seven 30-win seasons in a career in which he rang up 362 total victories, the Large Unit, who by the time he's done will have more strikeouts than anyone in history not named "Ryan," Robin Roberts, Gaylord Perry (Perry and Roberts can trade scuffing tips in the dugout) and Rube Foster, whose HOF plaque refers to him as "A player, manager, owner, commissioner and unsurpassed visionary," who founded the Negro National League.
The All-September All-Hall team, then:
MGR Tom Lasorda
C Mike Piazza
1B Rafael Palmeiro
2B Joe Morgan
SS Phil Rizzuto
3B Mike Schmidt
LF Robin Yount
CF Duke Snider
RF Jim O'Rourke
DH Frankie Frisch
Bench: O'Rourke is the backup catcher
RHSP Kid Nichols
LHSP Randy Johnson
RHSP Robin Roberts
RHSP Gaylord Perry
RHSP Rube Foster
RHSP Bob Lemon
RHSP Waite Hoyt
RHSP Al Spalding
Sidebar: September's All-in-the-Family Notes
There have been enough Bells in major league history, that you're bound to stumble across one every other month or so; sure enough, David "Son of Buddy, grandson of Gus" Bell came along in September -- too bad that's as close as dad ever got to a pennant race. One of second-gen Bell's Texas teammates, Jeff Burroughs, also had a son in September you know him as Sean the Many-Injured Padre. At least one "dad half" of a father/son combo, Dick "father of Robb" Nen, was born in September. And then there are the brothers.
Remember Dave "older brother of Steve" Sax? Another older brother, Frank Manush, only had a cup of coffee as a third baseman for the '08 A's, but at least he didn't get stuck with the nickname of his future Hall-of-Fame brother, 18 years his junior, Henry "Heinie" Manush. Ken Forsch, born in September, was 114-113 in his career, and made an All-Star game; brother Bob never made an All-Star team, but probably wouldn't trade his 169-136 record or World Series game victory for the experience; the Forsches are also the only brothers to each hurl a no-hitter in the big legues (yeah., I thought the either the Perrys or Deans had, too, but looked it up nope.)
The most notable family connection is how would you like to be oldest and get stuck with this moniker the other other Dimaggio. Not Joe, not Dom Vince, who incidentally was an All-Star in his own right, hitting between 13 and 21 homers in eight of his first nine seasons and flashing the Dimaggio family leather. And finally, Jeremy Giambi Little G just slides in under October's tag, born on September 30
Sidebar: All-September Trivia Question
This is my dad's favorite Yankee trivia question. What September baby (OK, I added that part) is the only New York Yankee first baseman to lead the league in home runs as a Yankee? Hints: Lou Gehrig was born in June; Jason Giambi in May, as was Chris Chambliss; Moose Skowron in December; Joe Pepitone in October; the inimitable Wally Pipp (not a slugger, but you were running out of Yankee 1B you could name, right?) in February.
The only New York Yankee 1B ever to lead the American League in home runs was the immortal Nick Etten, who hit 22 bombs about a quarter of his career total in 1944, during the heart of World War II. Vern Stephens was the only other Senior Circuit player to reach 20 that year, while Ted Williams was flying fighter planes and Hank Greenberg was similarly engaged with the Greatest Generation. Sure, the season leadership might carry an asterisk, but Etten was a legitimate All-Star that year, not only leading the league in homers, but pulling the Barry Bonds double by also leading the league in walks, with 97 (admittedly, about a month's work for Barry), and putting together an OPS of .865, good for fourth in the league that year and good for an OPS+ of 144, roughly equivalent to Sammy Sosa's 1999 63-homer season (141 OPS+).
September's Left Coast
So virtually every Hall of Fame pitcher born in September threw from the right side? No problem. Let's take a look at the staff we could put together of "Regular Joes" guys who were stars, even All-Stars, but are in no danger of getting into Cooperstown without paying admission. For the sake of "balance," we will limit this staff to all leftiesexcept for one righty, the mirror image of the All-Hall staff. There's good reason to do so.
If you have a kid in September, put a ball in his left hand early (of course, that's sound pension-investment advice any time of the year). The parents of these guys did just that: lefty starter Harvey Haddix, author of the single greatest game ever pitched; Gene Bearden, who won 20 games for the 1948 AL champion Indians,. Southpaw Mickey "the original tub of goo" Lolich, who won 219 games and three more in the 1968 World Series, was a September baby; so were active lefties Denny Neagle and Mike Hampton. If you never saw only-a-lefty Jim Abbott pitch, you're poorer for missing the experience; he's another Septlefty, as is new double-digit winner Doug Davis, late of the Toronto rotation. Two guys who share the pedigree (in reverse of each other) of closing for both the Reds and the Mets, lefties Johnny Franco and Randy Myers, were Septlefties. Just a Lolich was, another Septflefty took home World Series MVP honors Johnny Podres, who can double as this team's pitching coach.
With that kind of lefty talent, who's the sole righty on the team? Urban "Red" Faber, who racked up 254 wins for the White Sox? Orel Hershiser, who gets extra bonus points for graduating from athletic powerhouse Bowling Green State University? Spud Chandler, with a career mark of 109-43, and the only Yankee pitcher ever to capture league MVP honors? Wade Miller? Rick Wise? (Wise and Hampton these pitchers can hit, boy) Larry Dierker, who could also manage? Maybe we should bring in a right-handed complement to Franco and Myers to build a new version of the Nasty Boys but with Myers playing himself, and Franco cast as Norm Charlton, who gets the part of Dibble? Jason Isringhausen has the right demeanor for it, but it only seems "right" to go with still another ex-Reds closer; Jeff Russell started in Cinti, but had exactly zero of his 186 career saves there. Jeff Russell, meanwhile, had 88 saves with the Reds, more than half of his career total of 172, and half of those, 44, came in one All-Star season, 1996.
The Rest of the Guys
There's plenty of additional non-Hall talent with sapphire birthstones; consider the following
Behind the plate, defensive stalwart Rick Dempsey is backed up by Andujar candidate Rod Barajas. Our first basemen have big-time nicknames (in oine case, literally) in Big Klu (Ted Kluszewski) and Nick the Stick (Nick Johnson), while Eddie Waitkus, purportedly the model for Roy Hobbs in The Natural, also arrived in September.
September's been good to Cooperstown second basemen, as we've seen, but the likes of Eddie Stanky, Jerry Coleman, Bobby Wine (from our originl All-Food team), Johnny Pesky and Rex Hudler probably shouldn't hold their breaths waiting for the phone call. But hey, Coleman and the Wonder Dog could make a fine, if eccentric broadcasting team in the radio booth.
At shorstop, Rich Aurilia used to be good, and Carlos Guillen is turning into an "oh, that's why he was in the Randy Johnson trade" answer, while Hubie Brooks was once a Mets shortstop prospect sort of like Kevin Mitchell was.
At the hot corner we hve one of the first big-name free agents (and first big free agent busts) of the 1970's, Eric Soderholm, as well as John Gizzi favorite Jeff Cirillo and former Expo great Tim Wallach.
The outfield is replete the Gold Glove talent imagine Rick Manning flanked by Garry Maddox and Joe Rudi! That's reason enough to keep the DH tag on the first Blue Jay ever to compete in the All-Star Weekend Home Run Contest Rico Carty. Speaking of oufielders who are fine DH candidates, Ellis Burks is around; so is Vince Coleman; put Coleman in center, flanked by Burks in left and Carty in right, and we'll have a fine start to a team for which former Boston hurler John Butcher would be the mascot. And the guy who has to DH for that team? The abosolutely brutal Rob Deer, who recently went 1-for-5 with a 900-foot homer and struck out four times in his beer league slo-pitch softball debut. People forget that Kenny "Hawk" Harrelson was an excellent, All-Star caliber outfielder before turning into Barney the lovable purple General Manager. Kevin Millar first Cowboyed Up in September, while Dixie Walker had more than 2000 career hits. Then there's that Maris guy we mentioned before to go all Nick Etten on you, he's the only Yankee outfielder ever to win back-to-back MVP awards other than Mantle, which in a way, defines Maris' career.
As for managers, if we don't get all the sound baseball decisions we need from Kevin Kennedy, well, surely you all recognize Carlos Tosca over there?
September's All Non-Hall Team
C Rick Dempsey
1B Ted Kluszewski
2B Johnny Pesky
SS Rich Aurilia
3B Tim Wallach
LF Joe Rudi
CF Garry Maddox
RF Roger Maris
DH Rico Carty
Bench: Rod Barajas, Hubie Brooks, Eddie Waitkus, Rex Hudler, Vince Coleman, Jeff Cirillo
LHSP Mickey Lolich
LHSP Miek Hampton
LHSP Harvey Haddix
LHSP Johnny Podres
LHSP Jim Abbott
LHRP Randy Myers
RHRP Jeff Russell
LHRP Johnny Franco
LHRP Gene Bearden
LHRP Doug Davis
Sidebar: September's Kids and Jays
So we've been talking about "September babies," but to take that to the next level, what about the kids active today who just might make an All-September team in 2015? Would you like to start your team with Rickie Weeks and Jason Bay, with a dash of Joel Pineiro and Mark Prior to pitch? And hey, there's Rocco Baldelli, proving that September 25 must be the feast day of whoever's the patron saint of Italian ballplayers; he shares that birthday with Rizzuto. Holy Cow!
Looking for some Jay connections? Sure, plenty of ex-and current Jays have been born in September, with Box favorite Dave Berg leading a squad that includes the greatness of Doyle "John Smoltz who?" Alexander, Joey Hamilton, Ed Sprague, Dennis Lamp, Paul Spoljaric and Dave Weathers ;and let's nod to our Quebecois neighbors and recognize that the best of all these among September babies was Expo all-timer Warren Cromartie.
September Sighs?
We're getting near the end, so breathe a Cy of Relief (and no, that doesn't refer to Eric Gagne) ... Looking at some of the people who put "Names" into the Box's Baseball's Hall of Names, let's start by noting the oddity that there are FIVE guys named "Cy" born in September. Unfortunately for our pitching staff, none are named "Young." Instead, LHSP Cy Miller, RHSP Cy Ferry and RHRP Cy Pieh (I don't know if that rhymes or not; it sounds like a dessert from Roger Clemens' inevitable restaurant in Houston. "After you've wolfed down a plateful of Baby Bac-K-K-K Ribs, try a slice of Cy pie this week's special is the Piazza pie, rhubarb-flavored!") combined for a career record of 23-20, falling just 488-296 shy of Young's mark. Meanwhile, Cy Rheam plaed some 2B, 3B and OF for the 1894-1895 Pittsburgh Rebels, and Cy Neighbors snuck into one game as an outfielder for the 1908 Pittsburgh Pirates. Pirates, Rebels what's with Pittsburgh, anyway? Ben Roethlisberger will be fine, guys.
Some other sapphire-quality September names:
Many of you might remembe the immortal Drungo La Rue Hazewood, who had a cuppajoe with the 1980 Orioles; all of you certainly remember Marvelous Marv Throneberry, who paved the way for Bob Uecker to make a career of his lousy baseball career. RHSP Sandy Consuegra, had an All-Star 16-3 season for the 1954 White Sox, but not much else of note; RHRP Gordon Maltzberger finally made the show at age 30 in 1943, and rode his WWII-revived career through 1947. LHRP Harry Hedgpeth made it into one game for the '13 Senators, who recently clinched their third straight AL Central championship.
Imagine what Mike Myers the comedian, not the Boston LOOGY could do with Shags Horan, who threw in 22 games for the 1924 Yankees '34 NYY; can we start writing jokes about Shags meeting up with Hooks Wilts, who began as an oufielder for the 1904 Baseball Giants, but who spent 357 of his 607 big league games on the mound. Abner "don't call me Doubleday" Dalrymple played twelve years of outfield in the 19th century, mostly for the Cubs, while Icehouse Wilson was hitless in one pinch-hit at-bat for the 1934 Motor City Kitties.
The leader of any All-Names team has to be the greatness of former Yankee shortstop Mickey Klutts, while September hs also brought us the likes of Ambrose Puttman, who had six career wins compiled across three consecutve two-victory seasons LHRP Hilly Hathaway, who sounds 19th century, but who pitched for the 1992-93 Angels, while Torontonians can grin at the name of 1960's RHRP Cisco Carlos, imagining a cross between former pitching coach Galen Cisco and former skipper Carlos Tosca.
Both Slow Joe Doyle and Speed Martin were born in September. Insert your own joke here, please. Harry Easterday is a guy who should've made our "All-Holiday" team, right up there with Steve Christmas, way back when.
Finally, OF Heinie Groh was a September baby; given the presence of Mr. Manush on this squad, what are the odds that one month would produce five Cys and two Heinies? (Again, insert your own joke here.) Actually, the odds aren't bad. There have been 34 Cys and 22 Heinies in MLB history, which statistically would break down to 2.83 Cys and 1.83 Heinies per month on average. Speaking of Heinie Groh (say it out loud and wait for it). let's point out that September is also the birth month not only of Lolich, but of both the great Calvin Pickering and two-games-for the-1895-Brooklyn-Bridegrooms Hunkey Hines.
And what about LHRP Jennings "Jinx" Poindexter, who was 0-2 for '36 Dodgers and '39 Phils, or Gorman Heimueller who was 3-6 for the 1983-84 Oakland club; George Anderson not Sparky, though was a weak-hitting OF for the Brooklyn Tip-Tops near the turn of the last century.
Finally, catcher Harry Chozen backstopped for one game in Cincinnati in 1937; we can only hope that he was assigned the uniform number 1. Then as he stepped to the plate, Handel's "Messiah" blaring from the rickety Crosley Field sound system, his back would read "Chozen 1."
Finally, we do seem obligated by pattern of past months to produce one overarching
The All-September Team
MGR Tom Lasorda
Coaches: Kevin Kennedy, Carlos Tosca, Larry Dierker
LINEUP
Joe Morgan, 2B
Frankie Frisch, DH
Duke Snider, CF
Mike Schmidt, 3B
Roger Maris, RF
Mike Piazza, C
Raffy Palmeiro, 1B
Robin Yount, LF
Phil Rizzuto, SS
BENCH
C Rick Dempsey
COR Tim Wallach
MID Johnny Pesky
OF Joe Rudi
UTIL Jim O'Rourke
ROTATION
RHP Kid Nichols
LHP Randy Johnson
RHP Gaylord Perry
RHP Robin Roberts
LHP Mickey Lolich
BULLPEN
LHP Randy Myers CL
RHP Jeff Russell SET
LHP Johnny Franco SET
LHP Johnny Podres LOOGY
RHP Bob Lemon MID
RHP Waite Hoyt LONG/SWING
